If I Was Your Vampire

When we left my family's place we headed to New Jersey, where we pulled up to an old friend of Damon's. "This is my buddy Alaric's place. He's a vampire and one of my closest friends. We have not seen each other in almost ten years. I called him and told him I was bringing you to meet him."

We walked up metal steps above a pizza place and knocked on the door. A scruffy faced blond haired guy. "Hey hey, I'm Rick. Come on in, both of you." He said and we walked inside. It was,a pretty typical guy apartment but there were thousands of history books and spell books all over the place. Tables, counters, bookshelves.... I was blown away. As Rick watched me he pointed at the clutter everywhere. "So I was human, then vampire, then dead, resurrected vampire, human and then twenty years ago Damon turned me again. I am a history professor at Princeton university one block from here- I'm currently researching occult." I nodded, totally in love with the amount of research he had lying around.

"I'm sorry, I am also a history teacher- four years at NYU and now at Mystic Falls High. This stuff fascinates me to no end. I have a BA in anthropology and was focused on occult."

"Well feel free to poke around. You want a drink? Damon? Hungry?"

"Yeah I'm starved after two days at her parents, load me up."

As,I thumbed thru a book and Damon ate straight from the bag and then went outside to call home.

Alaric came and sat across from me on the opposite sofa. "This doesn't bother you? Blood? Feeding? You really don't care?"

"I'm sorry, should I? I was with a man who pretended to be a hero and was actually a monster in disguise. Damon didn't let me get close to him till he told me what he was. He might say he's a monster but I don't see it. He is perfect."

"You think about it.... down the road your getting old and he is still the same. Then what?"

"Really?! Do you not want him and I to work? I have not thought about it yet. I'm not going gray tomorrow."

"This is why we pair up with another one of us or stay alone. Eventually your going to die. I don't want your death to be another on a scale of shit that sets him off. I love that you care about him, but so do I."

"So what are you saying, I should just leave him? I don't want to live without him"

"Your options are vampire, single or death.... that's it. And you wanna turn while your young."

Alaric stood when the door opened, walking over to Damon and patting him back. We stayed for another half hour or so before we left and found a motel for the night.

Once inside we took a shower together and then laid in bed in nothing but towels- facing one another while his fingers traced my hand. It was in that moment I knew what I wanted- I knew it all along. I just wouldn't allow myself to say it out loud. He had been through so much and so had I- I didn't want to ruin what we had with words of what can never last forever. Alaric's words got to me and now it was all I could think about. For the first time in my life I was worried about dying.

"Damon, I..... i..... I wanna know what it was like. To become what you are."

"For a long time it's awful. You can't control your hunger. Stefan killed our dad the night he turned. With time, practice, patience it gets easier. All your senses are heightened. You have a ring then you can go out in the sun. You live forever. Klaus is thousands of years old. Imagine the things he has seen." He kissed me softly on the lips and then again on my neck. "Is this something Alaric said to you?"

"I just want to experience life from your point of view, just trying to understand that's all." I replied and he raised his eyebrows.

"To experience it I would have to turn you. Why would you want to live forever?!" He said getting angry. "It brings pain, heartache, misery..... everyone who becomes this regrets it... why would you want this?!"

I got up and walked into the bathroom to get dressed. Between my inability to rest and everyone's opinions in my brain I felt like a tornado had hit me like a ton of bricks. When I opened the door Damon stood there in a pair of jeans, hands on either side of the door frame. He looked so confused by my reaction, and angry that I asked.

"Damon, I gotta go for a walk or something. I need to pull my thoughts together". I tried sneaking by but I just couldn't bring myself to actually leave.

"What is going on with you?" He asked and a tear ran down my cheek.

"Damon, I am hopelessly, head over heels, in love with you. Maybe you have not noticed but I'm in my late twenties. So it's do this or get old and let you watch me die or stop seeing you. I would rather be undead than dead or alive without you. We are not children. I am not getting younger and........."

"Shut up bella" he said putting a hand over my mouth.

I shoved his hand away not letting him silence me. "No I will not shut up, Damon! I fucking love you and I don't know what we are or where we stand.......but...."

Again his hand was over my mouth. "Now I am going to move my hand I want you to stop talking."

"Why?"

"Because I love you too. Ever since the day I cooked for you I could feel it. I didn't want to scare you away..." As his lips crashed against mine the thing I was thinking... I am in love and I'm not giving up.