If I Was Your Vampire

After Bella fell asleep I got up carefully and went downstairs to call Stefan. Now that my blood was out of her system she could go home. Caroline found the guy who attacked her and took him to jail- despite wanting to rip his throat out. Caroline just wants to give Bella closure and help her feel safe.

I don't know what I'm doing with this girl. I liked spending the morning with her- but it was all too much and I need to be alone. I pull out my phone, grab a blood bag and sit down to call my brother.

"Yeah Damon.."

"Where are you? Bella is free to go now. My work here is done. I gotta get out of here."

"Ok I will send Caroline. You okay?"

"Yeah I just need to go."

With that I hung up and put my jacket and shoes on, ready to walk out the door when blondie arrives. When I see her car park I wave and head out thru the woods.

I felt bad that I left Bella, but I just couldn't do that to Elena. I had to see her- and I was angry that I allowed myself to be guilt free for an entire day. The cemetery loomed in the distance and I felt comforted by it surrounding me. I should be here. Its been three years and I know Elena would want me to move on- but with Bella I am immediatly myself around her and its too easy. I have to be more careful.

I walk into the crypt and rub my fingers over Elenas eternal resting place. When we were together I was so happy- I wish I was still with her. She knew every ulgy side of me and loved me- even thru all the bad I have done.

I think about Bonnie and feel a tear run down my cheek. She would be so angry with me for allowing her and Elenas passing keep me from moving on. I grab a bottle of burbon from my stash alongside Elenas coffin and sit on the ground- drowning myself in memories from the past.

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Three years ago Bonnie died. She was almost fifty years old. It had been thirty years since I had seen Elena but I kept fighting the good fight and taking care of things for when she came home to me. Bonnie was one of my closest friends- and when she was in the hospital- minutes from death from a car accident- I offered to heal her but she refused. She asked me to let her go and go be with Elena.

I left the hospital and ran to the crypt- threw open the door and knew in that moment Bonnie had passed since her magic only kept the door sealed till she died. I pulled the lid off Elenas coffin and her perfect eyes fluttered open at me- as if waking from a bad dream. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her lips and asked her to marry me.

It was there, in my arms she rapidly aged and decomposed in my arms. In a matter of minutes she went from my Elena to a pile of bones. Her last words to me were "help me Damon it hurts." She never even gave me an answer.

I spent a year after the incident trying desperately to bring her back but with no success. We assume the spell perserved her while she was under it- and without it the cure rapidly aged her like it did Katherine. Once I had used every resource I accepted my life without her and fell into my deep state of depression. Twice Stefan and Caroline locked me up for suicide attempts.

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I awoke to the darkness. Caroline stood above me, shaking her head and cleaning up my empty bottles. "Come on Damon. Bella is home safe. Lets go home."

I nodded and stood, following her to her car so we could go back to the house. One things for sure- I'm no good to Bella- despite how drawn I am to her.... I'm still in love with the dead.