The Crypt Keeper
One
"Welcome boys and ghouls. Tonight's tale has to do with me, personally. Isn't that right, Nicole?"
"Yes. It's more of a tale of love but don't worry. We're not going to bore you with the sappy love you hear all the time."
"Then again, we're not normal!"
"No. Normal love just won't do for the Crypt Keeper! But, we shouldn't keep these kids bored all night."
"A good point you raise there. Now kiddies, this story, though packed with very weird romance, it's filled with another important element as well. I call this story...Bad Luck..."
Okay, I have to say, out of all the worst days in my life, this Friday was my worst. I am not joking either. I'll tell you about it from beginning to end. That is, unless I come encounter with even more bad luck. My boyfriend, David, and I were making out in my bedroom and my parents caught us. They confused this for attempting to have sex. In result I was kicked out with all my stuff. I asked David if I could stay with him for awhile but he decided to break up with me because of my parents' constant paranoria. So, without a place to stay or a boyfriend to crash with, I decided to call one of my good friends. But, as I explained my problem, she screamed at me through the phone. She was telling me that every time I come over with a problem, I end up getting her caught up in it or making her have bad luck. Living in a small town, I wanted to check into the local motel but guess what? Yep, you guessed it: Full as a buzard's savenger belly. So, I decided on going into town to find a motel to sleep in. I know that disgusting but what else can I do? So, on my way into town, I missed several exits by accident. But the more I drove, the further I was getting away from the city and its exits. I was on the road going who knows where. The road was even becoming more and more deserted as I drove. And then, right in the middle of the road, I ran out of gas. Oh, if you want to know what was worse than that, it started raining very heavily. You couldn't see one inch past the glass, the rain came down so much.
"Why must bad stuff happen to me?" I asked myself. I started to mess around with the things in my car until I noticed dim lights in the background. What's with the dim lights? That can't be a car. Don't tell me it's a house! It couldn't hurt, could it? I mean what's the worse that could happen? Unless the person or people living in there are murderous, perverted, or cannibolistic I think I'm fine. I put on my jacket, grab my flashlight, and head out into the watery cold outside to seek proper shelter. The closer I got, the bigger the dim lights became even though it took a very long time. A storm started as I got onto the lawn of a very old looking poorly kept house. Finally on the porch of the dimly lit house, I knock on the door. I waited awhile, seeing no one answer, and knocked louder. Instead of someone coming to answer or an angry remark, the door creaked open like in those mystery films.
"Hello?" I called, "I need some help, please!" I poked my head through the door and a thought came to me. What if this house is really abandoned? I looked around and noticed that the whole place was dirty and full of cobwebs. But what made me believe that there was someone here were the candles lighting the rooms. They were tall, freash, wax sticks lit not more than maybe moments ago. Suddenly, there was a noise down stairs like someone was walking around. Even though it was none of my business, I decided to check it out. I felt both scared and excited as I decended into a basement, quietly. I walked down a flight of stairs before seeing a door. I slightly opened the door but it was too dimly lit to see anything. I decided to open it wider so that I could see a little more. Big mistake. The next thing I saw was a mumified skeleton looking guy walking around in a dark redish raged, robe. I thought about walking away slowly but the door creaked loudly and the skeleton guy looked straight at me. I let out what I guess was a squeak of fear but that didn't stop this guy from creeping me out and my heart from beating so fast. He then started making this crazy laugh that sounded maniac and scared the shit out of me. I'm sorry, but if you found a walking skeleton in a basement you'd be scared too. I ran up the stairs, out the door, into the lawn, and before I could get off the hill, I slipped on the wet grass. My head hit the ground very hard. Hard enough to knock me unconcious. The last thing I remember was that everything was dark and fuzzy. Bad luck always has a way of finding me...
"Yes. It's more of a tale of love but don't worry. We're not going to bore you with the sappy love you hear all the time."
"Then again, we're not normal!"
"No. Normal love just won't do for the Crypt Keeper! But, we shouldn't keep these kids bored all night."
"A good point you raise there. Now kiddies, this story, though packed with very weird romance, it's filled with another important element as well. I call this story...Bad Luck..."
Okay, I have to say, out of all the worst days in my life, this Friday was my worst. I am not joking either. I'll tell you about it from beginning to end. That is, unless I come encounter with even more bad luck. My boyfriend, David, and I were making out in my bedroom and my parents caught us. They confused this for attempting to have sex. In result I was kicked out with all my stuff. I asked David if I could stay with him for awhile but he decided to break up with me because of my parents' constant paranoria. So, without a place to stay or a boyfriend to crash with, I decided to call one of my good friends. But, as I explained my problem, she screamed at me through the phone. She was telling me that every time I come over with a problem, I end up getting her caught up in it or making her have bad luck. Living in a small town, I wanted to check into the local motel but guess what? Yep, you guessed it: Full as a buzard's savenger belly. So, I decided on going into town to find a motel to sleep in. I know that disgusting but what else can I do? So, on my way into town, I missed several exits by accident. But the more I drove, the further I was getting away from the city and its exits. I was on the road going who knows where. The road was even becoming more and more deserted as I drove. And then, right in the middle of the road, I ran out of gas. Oh, if you want to know what was worse than that, it started raining very heavily. You couldn't see one inch past the glass, the rain came down so much.
"Why must bad stuff happen to me?" I asked myself. I started to mess around with the things in my car until I noticed dim lights in the background. What's with the dim lights? That can't be a car. Don't tell me it's a house! It couldn't hurt, could it? I mean what's the worse that could happen? Unless the person or people living in there are murderous, perverted, or cannibolistic I think I'm fine. I put on my jacket, grab my flashlight, and head out into the watery cold outside to seek proper shelter. The closer I got, the bigger the dim lights became even though it took a very long time. A storm started as I got onto the lawn of a very old looking poorly kept house. Finally on the porch of the dimly lit house, I knock on the door. I waited awhile, seeing no one answer, and knocked louder. Instead of someone coming to answer or an angry remark, the door creaked open like in those mystery films.
"Hello?" I called, "I need some help, please!" I poked my head through the door and a thought came to me. What if this house is really abandoned? I looked around and noticed that the whole place was dirty and full of cobwebs. But what made me believe that there was someone here were the candles lighting the rooms. They were tall, freash, wax sticks lit not more than maybe moments ago. Suddenly, there was a noise down stairs like someone was walking around. Even though it was none of my business, I decided to check it out. I felt both scared and excited as I decended into a basement, quietly. I walked down a flight of stairs before seeing a door. I slightly opened the door but it was too dimly lit to see anything. I decided to open it wider so that I could see a little more. Big mistake. The next thing I saw was a mumified skeleton looking guy walking around in a dark redish raged, robe. I thought about walking away slowly but the door creaked loudly and the skeleton guy looked straight at me. I let out what I guess was a squeak of fear but that didn't stop this guy from creeping me out and my heart from beating so fast. He then started making this crazy laugh that sounded maniac and scared the shit out of me. I'm sorry, but if you found a walking skeleton in a basement you'd be scared too. I ran up the stairs, out the door, into the lawn, and before I could get off the hill, I slipped on the wet grass. My head hit the ground very hard. Hard enough to knock me unconcious. The last thing I remember was that everything was dark and fuzzy. Bad luck always has a way of finding me...