Your Melody Sounds As Sweet As the First Time It Was Sung

Brendon.

I yawned widely as I opened the fridge, retrieving a can of red bull and opening it as I kicked the door closed. I didn’t even really need the energy for anything, you just kind of grow addicted to the stuff. After doing a random lap of the house – Spencer’s house, to be exact (his parents and sisters were away on vacation so we’d all decided to crash here) – I came to the conclusion that aimless wondering was pointless and allowed my legs to give way as I collapsed on the couch.

It was weird not having anything to do. After growing so used to being on the road, always fussing over either writing a song or changing a note or trying to stop the other bands from fighting, the quietness and relaxation of the world we used to live in so contently strikes us as odd. I was twenty-one now. The band was working on finishing up our second album. We had one more overseas tour until we went into the studio to record. Life just felt like it was moving way too fast.

I flipped the television on and began channel surfing. What was usually on in the middle of the day, anyway? Spencer came and joined me, casually sipping a beer, as I passed some soap opera with cringe-worthy acting, before deeming myself unable to watch it anymore and changing the channel again. There was some kind of talk show kind of thing on, so seeing as I had nothing else to do I waited to see who the guests were.

A few seconds later, four people began to make their way on screen to a lot of screaming and cheering from teenagers (I presume) in the audience. I wasn’t paying too much attention as the four people sat down on a dusty-red coloured couch, all greeting the interviewer with polite smiles. Spencer, it seems, was paying more attention than I, and I was shaken out of my mindless lazy daze as he spat a mouthful of beer all over the floor.

“Dude, what the hell?” I asked, shocked at his suddenness and shocked expression.

The situation might have seemed comic, perhaps, on a television screen, but seeing as it kind of scared the shit out of me I wasn’t finding it so hilarious. Spencer’s face had gone white in a matter of seconds and his light blue-green eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open just a little. And the fact that he wasn’t yet cleaning up or even fretting over the mess of his beer all over the carpet was a definite hazard sign.

“I… is that…” he stuttered, slowly raising a finger to point at the TV screen where a ‘emo’ looking guy with sweeping black hair, a lip piercing and a black and purple striped long-sleeve shirt was replying to something that the interviewer had said. My attention snapped back to Spencer, my eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“What are you on about, Spence? Do you know that guy or something?”

Spencer gave me a look of frustration and annoyance that kind of took me aback.

“Not him, you douche. Her.”

I looked back to the screen, where the camera had zoomed out so that all four faces of the guests could be seen as well as the interviewer. My eyes quickly scanned the screen until they rested on a pretty girl with red hair and a shy smile. Spencer called out to Ryan, but I could barely hear him. I blinked at the image, not daring to comprehend it, but a few moments later my expression mirrored Spencer’s as the interviewer – a happy and mischievous Asian guy with sweeping ‘emo’ hair addressed her.

“Now, Charlotte, one of the questions on everyone’s mind is why you aren’t the front-man – or front-woman, I guess, of the band. Do you have anything to say to that?”

The girl smiled a little, but to anyone who was watching closely she gulped a little and answered with a small waver in her voice as she raised her own microphone to her mouth.

“Uh, not really, I guess. I mean, a lot of other bands with only one female member tend to do that, but that’s usually because they’re the vocalists. I’m not the lead singer or anything, and most of the time they become the front-person. It’s just kind of part of the job description. I wouldn’t want people to mistake me for our singer and for that to have any effect on our music or image. Sebastian is the front-man because he’s the one with the amazing voice. Whatever inspires people to listen to us or whatever draws attention, we want it to be exactly what we are. No misconceptions. When we were just a little band, playing in dingy little bars or just for our friends, we didn’t have a front-person at all. I guess as our popularity grew, it just became clearer. We had no reason to question it or change it, so that’s the way we intend it to stay.”

“So would you have ever thought about being the front-woman, if you’d given it any more thought?”

Charlotte paused, tucking some curled strands of hair behind her ear.

“Well, I guess I thought about it, but I never really wanted it. I don’t deal well with much attention, and Seb can handle it much better than me.”

The interviewer moved on to ask a blonde guy some questions as Ryan thundered downstairs and walked into the room, clearly not picking up on the frozen vibe that Spencer and I radiated. He was wearing tight jeans and a tight shirt as he walked into the room, ruffling his wet hair with a towel and talking as if the other two of us weren’t completely silent.

“Hey Bren, I forgot to tell you, Liz called and she asked me to…” he trailed off, finally picking up on the fact that something was going wrong. “What’s going on?”

There was no longer any doubt about it. That was my Charlotte. My Charlie. That was my best friend. Or once was, at any rate. She was on TV. She was happy, happier than I’d seen her in a long time, not that I’ve seen her in years anyway. She’d grown up so much! She looked so much more comfortable, although she was clearly nervous because of the attention, and she’d really grown into herself. Not that she hadn’t back in school or whatever, but she was no longer an unsure teenager. She was an adult now. And there was something else about her, too. She was… different. Just different.

“It’s Charlie,” I whispered, so quietly that I didn’t know if anyone had heard me.

It appears that Ryan did, however.

“What?” His head snapped towards the TV, and I could hear his intake of breath at the familiar figure on the screen. “No way…”

Without another word, Ryan too fell to the couch and we all watched with rapid attention, clinging to every word that our old friend said. She didn’t say much throughout the interview, her shyness so palpable to us, as the three guys around her answered most of the questions. I think that Spencer and Ryan agreed with me in the slight hurting that we weren’t those three guys with her anymore. It was towards the end of the interview, however, that Charlie was drawn into focus again, and our attention was captured and undivided.

“So what are the next tour plans?” the interviewer questioned. “What’s next for the band?”

“Actually,” Charlie spoke up. “We just found out the other day that in about a month we’ll be going on our first international tour that will take a month or so. I’ve never left the country before, so I’m pretty excited for that.”

“Oh really? That sounds great. Where are you planning on going?”

“Um,” Tyson began to answer, looking at his band mates as if for confirmation. “I think it starts by going to Australia and New Zealand, then to Japan, and then over to Europe where we’ll go to England, France, Spain, Germany… you know, all those countries. It should be quite an adventure for us.”

“So, Charlotte…” the interviewer began, but Chase interrupted him.

“She prefers to be called Charlie.”

Charlotte was blushing even more so than before, flicking the blonde man on the shoulder as he leaned back with a grin.

“Okay, Charlie, then,” the interviewer pressed on, un-phased. “My sources tell me that there’s something going on between you and Sebastian. Is that true, or is that just a rumour?”

If it was possible, Charlie was even redder. Sebastian, however, came to her rescue and saved her from answering the question.

“No, that’s true,” he said, blushing a little himself.

“Oh, well you’ve just provided us with some very juicy gossip then!” the interviewer laughed. “Spill!”

“We’ve been going out for around a year now,” Charlie smiled up at Sebastian, who smiled softly back at her and entwined their fingers. “But we were best friends years before we got together.”

A sharp jolt of pain, remarkably like heartache, washed over me. The situation sounded all too familiar, only with the completely opposite outcome. Immediately, I felt like I wanted to throw up.

“That’s sweet,” the interviewer said, as the studio audience cooed. “How did it turn into more?”

“Well, um,” Sebastian coughed to clear his throat, awkwardness and embarrassment engulfing him. “When Charlie started going out with one of our other friends, I realized that I was jealous and liked her as more. When they broke up, I showed up on her doorstep and confessed. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world, because she returns the feelings.”

“She turned you into a sap, man!” Chase teased lightly, punching Sebastian jokingly on the shoulder.

A secretive smile crept onto Sebastian’s lips, and he brought an arm up around Charlie’s shoulders that she fell into perfectly.

“Yeah, I guess she did.”

Ryan and Spencer both turned to glance at me as I gulped down my nausea. I don’t know why this made me feel so bad. Charlie was my best friend, and she looked perfectly happy. Shouldn’t I be happy for her? But that was just it; I hadn’t been that happy since the last time I saw her, two, maybe three years ago. She managed to find that happiness. Without me.

“Would you guys be able to give us a kiss? You know the audience wants to see it!”

There was a loud noise of approval at the interviewer’s words, and Charlie and Sebastian shared a look.

“Uh, it’s kind of private…”

“Come on, guys! Rockstars don’t need privacy!”

The audience made sounds of agreement and Charlie and Sebastian both rolled their eyes before looking at each other again.

“Fine,” Sebastian sighed, leaning over and planting an innocent kiss on Charlie’s lips that made her smile.

“What was that?!” the interviewer joked. “That wasn’t a proper kiss! Come on, give us a smooch!”

“No, that’s okay. It’s kind of awkward…” Sebastian began, as the interviewer started pouting at the camera.

“Just a quick one? Give the kids something to gossip about?”

Seb opened his mouth to protest again, but he was cut off by Charlotte.

“Well if you’re going to keep bugging us about it,” she started, grinning a little. “I guess we better make it worth your while.”

A few seconds later, she’d pulled Sebastian’s head down for their lips to meet in a stronger kiss. He was evidently shocked at first, but he got over it soon enough and kissed her right back with equal force.

The interviewer laughed, fanning himself with the sheets of questions he’d been holding. “Whoa, it’s getting hot in here!”

I felt really sick. As soon as I saw tongue, I rushed to the bathroom and spat out a little bile that had gotten into my mouth before washing it out with water and taking a deep gulp. It had only taken me about thirty seconds, but when I returned to the television Charlie was still in a lip-lock with that guy, and the other two band members were just sitting back, wolf-whistling at the couple and laughing at the slightly flustered interviewer. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got up to turn the screen off.

“Where’s the fucking remote?!” I screamed, bursting and scaring Ryan and Spencer a bit.

The simply shrugged, understandably a little disturbed by my behaviour as I frantically scrambled on the floor to reach the small grey device. When I looked up to turn it off, Charlie and her boyfriend… Sebastian… had finally detached themselves from one another and grinned sheepishly, still in each other’s arms. I only tuned in a bit for the very last of what the interviewer was saying, simply because I couldn’t miss it.

“So if you haven’t already, be sure to check out these guys in the band Static Failure on the upcoming international tour…”

I turned the horrid box off and remained frozen. Ryan and Spencer knew exactly why. I didn’t know whether to be thrilled and ecstatic or shaken with dread. It was a bit of both.

Static Failure… There was no doubt. That was definitely the band that we were told we were going to be touring with.

***

I got to the previously-booked table early. I don’t know why; I guess I just wanted to get out of the house. Ryan and Spencer had been giving me weird looks all afternoon, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I needed to see a different face; a face that didn’t know all about my past and my estranged best friend.

I noticed her as soon as she got to the door of Le Crépuscule en Argent. Her ash blonde hair was held elegantly up in place with a tortoiseshell hair clip, exposing the pale skin around her lean neck and drawing focus to a long, expensive silver necklace that I’d given her for her birthday a few months back. Her white halter dress was stylishly low cut, but not obviously so, and the layered skirt ended just a few inches above her knees. White stilettos adorned her feet, but she didn’t need them because she was tall anyway. Her green eyes sparkled mysteriously and her lips were painted a luscious bright red, her teeth standing out white in comparison as she smiled at me. She was beautiful. I was lucky that someone like her would ever go for someone like me, even if I was famous.

I stood up as she made her way over to the table I sat at, moving to kiss her cheek in greeting.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey Bren,” she smiled, hugging me as she always did.

I sat back down in my seat and she took the one opposite me, graciously accepting a menu as an infatuated waiter brought them to us. Her slender fingers bore no rings tonight. I’d considered planting a diamond on her finger several times, but there was always something holding me back. I thought it was my age. Elizabeth was perfect, but we were only just old enough to legally drink. I thought that maybe one day, in the future, I’d ask her to spend the rest of her life with me. That night, however, I thought about it again. For some reason, the idea seemed almost silly that night.

“Order whatever you want,” I told her.

She smiled at me, but the butterflies she usually gave me were absent tonight. As she opened the menu, her smile morphed into one of slight confusion.

“Brendon?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know how to read French? I can’t understand the menu.”

A flashback hit me so quickly I didn’t know where it had come from.

“I don’t do French! I can’t read this stupid menu!”

I smiled a little in spite of myself as I leaned over to try and help Liz translate the menu.

“Do they have Italian food?” she asked me, an adorable puzzled expression on her face.

“They have pasta.”

“What do they even have here? What kind of restaurant is this, anyway?”

“It’s pretty much got everything.”

“Pizza?”

“Except that…”

A few minutes later, the waiter came to take our orders. Liz ordered the spinach, cheese and mushroom ravioli, stumbling over the French pronunciation.

Until then, I’d never realized how similar Liz and Charlie were. They looked different, but the similarities in their personalities were remarkable. They were both vegetarians. They both liked to stay out of the spotlight. They were both stunning, although they didn’t seem to realize it and if they did then they didn’t advertise it. They loved the same kind of movies and music, and they shared a sense of humour. The realization of the likeness between the two shook me, and Liz seemed to notice.

“Brendon? Are you okay?”

I shook myself out of my thoughts and drew a smile onto my lips.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m fine.”

I didn’t do much talking as we ate. I listened to Liz tell me funny stories from work, listened to everything she wanted to tell me. She was an observant person, so I was pretty sure she picked up on my quietness, but she didn’t say anything about it.

It was about halfway through dessert that I realized. Liz and I had fallen into a gentle silence, but that was all it took. Several waiters, handsome young men themselves, kept sneaking glances at Liz, but she ignored them all as she gradually broke up a generous slice of chocolate mud cake and chewed it slowly. She was an amazing girl. Everything about her was amazing. But I don’t think I was ever going to marry her. I cared about her a lot, but I don’t think I ever really loved her. I was never ‘in love’ with her. She deserved someone who did, and I was just holding her back. Why I came upon these realizations right then didn’t make sense to me at the time, but I’d never been surer of anything in my life.

“Liz?”

“Hmm?”

Her bright eyes met mine and I felt incredibly guilty. She placed her fork down and looked at me expectantly. I took a deep breath, and began speaking.

“Liz, I really care about you. I do. I had no intention for tonight to turn out like this, I swear. You’re amazing and beautiful in every way, and it kills me to give this speech right now.”

She sighed, and I glanced at her to see her looking rather tired.

“You’re breaking up with me.”

It wasn’t an incredulous accusation, or a question, or a trembling realization. She was simply stating the fact, looking straight in my eyes. My voice was slightly croaky when I spoke again.

“Yes.”

She sighed again and nodded.

“I saw this coming a long time ago,” she admitted gently, giving me a small smile. “That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy to hear. Spare us both the speech. It’s because of that girl, isn’t it?”

My eyes grew wide at that. What was she on about? Did she think I’d cheated on her or something?

“W-what?”

“You know, that girl that you have so many pictures of. Ryan and Spencer, too. Your friend in high school or whatever.”

Oh. She meant Charlie.

“W-what? What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Liz said, a hint of a smile dancing on her lips. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you? She’s the only one you’ve ever been in love with, right?”

I let out a chuckle, but realized that there was no humour behind it.

“No… No, Liz, you’ve got it all wrong. She was my best friend.”

“Sure, sure,” Liz said, a small smirk still present. “You ready to get out of here?”

I paid the check, refusing Liz’s offer to pitch in, and we made our way out of the restaurant. I mulled over her words in my head, but danced delicately around the edges. I didn’t want to think about Charlie too much just yet. Not after that very public display of affection I’d witnessed on TV earlier.

“Hey, Bren?”

Liz’s voice broke me out of my thoughts as we walked across the otherwise vacant lot to our cars, staring at the star-decorated sky.

“Yeah?”

“We’re still friends, right?” she asked nervously, biting her lip as subtly as she could. “Like, just because we’re not together anymore, we’re not just going to forget about each other, are we?”

I gave her a smile and pulled her into a friendly hug.

“Of course not. We’re still friends.”

I pushed the desperate flashbacks out of my mind as we said our goodbyes and I hopped into my car, driving out of the lot with too many thoughts fighting for my attention.