Your Melody Sounds As Sweet As the First Time It Was Sung

“Chase… Chase… Chase!”

The boy I was yelling at gave a non-committal grunt and a nod of his head, not ripping his eyes away from the screen of Halo he was so immersed in. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head before burying it in Seb’s shoulder. Seb chuckled, and leaned his head down next to my ear.

“Don’t worry, love. He’ll die soon. He can’t get past this level.”

I smiled a little as I fished my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans, trying not to wiggle too much in Seb’s arms. We were lying on the couch in our tour bus (Repeat; bus. Not a dodgy little van for once), pretending to care as Chase got thwarted over and over again on x-box live. Tyson didn’t even bother pretending, busy flipping through some sort of alternative fashion magazine. The frantic sounds of controller buttons being pressed simultaneously in a rush told us exactly what was going to happen next.

“Oh shit, not again…” Chase groaned, before disposing of his controller and spinning around to face us.

“Face it honey,” I started. “You suck. There’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone can be champion Halo gamers.”

“All the Panic! guys can,” he grumbled.

“And trust me; it took them many years to get that way. Hey, their sound check should be finished by now, right?” I questioned, changing the subject. “Would you pretty please do me a favor?”

Chase sighed.

“I wish I could say no to you, Charlie, but you’re my weakness. What would you have me do for you, my lady?”

I giggled a bit. I should have been used to it by now, but I still wasn’t.

“Could you please go and get Brendon, Ryan and Spencer for me?”

“Oh gosh, Miss Miller. Using me to get your other servants? You just tore my heart apart!”

I reached up and shoved his arm lightly.

“Tyson’s dramatics are rubbing off on you, love.”

He laughed.

“I know. Tragic, isn’t it? Anyway, I will go and fetch them for you. You two try not to get too carried away. Tyson’s still in the room you know.”

On that note, Chase jogged out of the room and I rolled my eyes. When Seb and I first got together, a comment like that was sure to have embarrassed me. I would probably have stuttered a bit and blushed and what have you. But after Seb and I had been together for about four months, our relationship took another step. I lost my virginity to him, and after all my worrying over how it could potentially destroy our relationship, it didn’t. It brought us closer, something for which I couldn’t be more grateful for. I know losing it at age twenty seems pretty late. I guess it was. But it was right for me. I wasn’t ready when I was with William. I wasn’t ready until that night when I was. I guess that ever since I was fifteen, there had only ever been one guy I could see in my future like that. And, well, that didn’t work out.

Ever since seeing Brendon and Ryan and Spencer again, things have been different. I mean, of course they were different. We’d all grown up a lot since the last time we saw each other. I knew things wouldn’t be the same, but it wasn’t just that. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But the one main significance was clear; Brendon and I. Our friendship was back. Back to the way it was when we first met, only not quite as awkward and teenage. But we were friends again. Actually friends. And I can’t completely deny it; there was still a spark of interest there. This was the boy I’d been in love with for five years. Things like that aren’t just forgotten. But it was surprisingly easy for me to leave it behind.

“What you doing?” Seb asked, as I began to dial the familiar numbers on my cell and held it to my ear.

I didn’t bother to answer him as the person on the other line picked up pretty quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom.”

“Charlie baby! How are you, darling? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, mom…”

“Are you the only girl there? Are they treating you right? Is Sebastian looking after you?”

“Yes, mom, everything is perfect. What about you? How’s stuff back home?”

“Oh, you know…” she started airily. “The usual. I’ve got plenty of work to do, and I found this lovely little recipe for pecan pie that I want to try out. And I’ve got a date tonight, but I’m kind of tired so I’m thinking about calling it off… In short, I miss you Charlie.”

“I miss you too, mom,” I replied.

When we first started travelling for our music, my mom was my biggest concern. Seb, Chase, Tyson and I were the usual crowd at my house. We kept her company. I know she had other friends from work and stuff, but I was the closest she had to a best friend. I worried about her on her own, and I really missed her already, knowing that she was on the other side of the world.

She coughed and began speaking again, but I could tell she was smiling.

“So, Charlie, any special news for me? How’s Sebastian? And Chase and Tyson? Are you all okay?”

“Yes mom, we’re all fine. Missing home, of course, and the others miss you too. But that’s not what I called about.”

“Oh? What is it, honey?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“Nothing bad,” I assured her quickly. “It’s just… gosh, I don’t even know how to say this… you know Jon’s new band? The one we’re touring with?”

“Oh yes, are they nice? I’m sure Jon wouldn’t be in the band if they weren’t. Do you all get along? Megz still stops by sometimes for breakfast, and she’s missing you all terribly…”

“Calm down mom,” I chuckled.

She was clearly so desperate for some news or some gossip; anything, really. And by here hurried questions… I honestly couldn’t tell how she would react to the chunk of surprise that I was soon to deliver.

I glanced up and smiled as Chase returned with a bewildered Brendon in tow.

“Ryan and Spencer couldn’t come,” Chase mouthed to me, and I nodded and he plopped himself down on the couch, leaving Brendon remaining standing with a puzzled expression on his face. I smiled at him, and he returned it awkwardly.

Mom was prattling on about something on the phone, probably rewording all the questions she’d already asked, so I had to cut her off.

“Mom, listen to me. You… you’ll never guess who’s here.”

“What do you mean, love?” she asked, listening, but genuinely confused.

“Hold on,” I grinned.

I looked up at Brendon and held out the phone. Slowly, a smile spread over his face as he reached out to take the phone from me. Cautiously holding it up to his ear, he began to speak timidly.

“Hi, Jo.”

If I strained my ears, I could only just manage to hear my mother’s reaction.

“Charlie? Who… Is that… Is that Brendon?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

I chuckled as I heard my mom’s excited screech, before launching into her million and one questions for the boy who had been so much like a son to her. Brendon seemed vaguely surprised, but nothing other than pleased at the warm welcome he received from the woman who he hadn’t seen or spoken to in three years.

After about ten minutes, I realized that this was a conversation that wasn’t going to come to an end any time soon. Still giggling at the one end of the conversation that I could understand, I got to my feet and slipped on my checkered vans.

“Where are you going?” Seb asked me quietly, so as not to disturb Brendon’s phone call.

I shrugged.

“A walk around the venue. This could take a while. You coming?”

He took but a second to consider it before nodding and getting to his feet, taking my hand in his. We waved a silent goodbye to Brendon, who returned it as we stepped out of the bus. The air was crisp and chilly, and the sun was just beginning to sink into the clouds. I checked my watch, and it read the expected 5:02 pm. I looked up at Seb, who seemed to turn to me at the same time as if we were naturally attuned to each other. He smiled lazily at me and I returned the gesture, slipping my arm around his back and hooking my thumb into the pocket on the back of his jeans as he did the same with me. Resting my head against his shoulder, we began to wander aimlessly under the sunset sky, streaked with purple and divided by rays of sunlight.

It was one of those rare moments in life where everything just feels perfect. Where you feel perfect.

Brendon.

I don’t know why I had been shocked at the warm reception Charlie’s mom had showered me with over the phone. I expected her to be… I don’t know… angry or something that I’d let Charlie slip out of my life. That was stupid. Jo wasn’t like that. I guess everything with Charlie, seeing her again, speaking to her again… all of it was a surprise to me. She certainly wasn’t the same Charlie we used to know. She was grown up, for one thing. She seemed more content with who she was, more content with everything in general. And from what I could tell, her new friends were to thank for that.

It was almost a scary coincidence that she was friends with Jon. She’d said that they met in Chicago; something about her late night wanderings drawing her to the Starbucks franchise he worked at. But I didn’t want to go into the logistics and the unlikely odds of it. If it weren’t for Jon, I may never have found her again. I don’t think I could ever be more grateful for anything in the world.

And of course, I couldn’t avoid the clear impact that this guy Sebastian had on her life.

He seemed like a nice enough guy, to be honest. I didn’t really know him that well, but he was friendly enough and there was certainly no nasty or competitive vibes coming from him. Yet I couldn’t help but be a little jealous. Only because he had such an affect on her life. Only because he had changed her, and made her so happy when all I’d been able to do was bring her heartache. But I wasn’t jealous of his relationship with her. Of course not. That would be absurd. I didn’t want to think about it.

“Oh, it’s so good to hear your lovely voice again, Brendon!” Jo continued to gush.

“From what Charlie says, you’ve been listening to my voice a bit on the old stereo,” I chuckled.

“Oh, but you know it’s not the same. Speaking to you again… It feels like I’m talking to my long lost son.”

My heart swelled at that, it really did. Jo was like Charlie; so affectionate. I’d always known that she’d seen me almost as family, but hearing her say it like that… after so long… I almost wanted to cry. And I never cry. At the same time, I also felt somehow… constricted. As if this declaration was some form of burden. That scared me, and made no sense.

“It… It’s great speaking to you again too,” I replied lamely, my voice cracking a bit as I blinked back tears.

“Oh, you’re a dear,” she smiled, the action evident in her voice as she disregarded my lack of verbalism, if indeed she had noticed it at all. “Now, since we’ve done about all the catching up we can – We’ve been on the phone for almost an hour, can you believe that? – would you be able to find Sebastian for me?”

I felt a slight pang at her request, and I couldn’t quite tell why. I’d just been talking to her for however long, and now she wanted to speak to Sebastian? It was awfully selfish of me, I admit, but I’d kind of liked the thought that I was on better terms with her than he was. Then again, I don’t know why I’d drawn that conclusion in the first place.

“Sure, Jo. Just let me go and find him.”

“Thanks love.”

I put the phone on hold as I dashed out of the bus, the wind whipping my black and white scarf in my face as I jogged towards the venue. I’d watched out of the tour bus window as Charlie and Sebastian had headed for the back entrance earlier. I’d kept an eye out, and I hadn’t seen hem emerge so I assumed they were still in there somewhere. Thankfully, it wasn’t a huge venue, so it wouldn’t take me too long to find them.

As I wrenched open the back door to get out of the wind, I saw Spencer heading towards me in the blue carpeted corridor ahead of me.

“Hey man,” I greeted as we passed each other. “You seen Charlie and her boyfriend anywhere?”

“Uh yeah,” he answered, a look of subconscious thought on his face. “Last time I saw them they were in the main backstage room. Take a right at the end of the corridor.”

“Thanks Spence,” I yelled back to him over my shoulder as I followed his directions.

I stopped running and came into a brisk walk by the time I reached the door Spencer had directed me to. The doors were open, and I walked into what appeared like a blank hotel room or practice space, the only furniture being a few comfy-looking couches, a small table supporting a small television, and several plastic chairs. As I walked into the room, I turned around a corner to be surprisingly greeted by the very people I was looking for. Only, I never thought I’d find them making out.

The sight was somewhat horrifying for me. I just couldn’t comprehend it. Charlie was pushed up against the clean white counter of the kitchenette, grinning into a passionate kiss with Sebastian. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist, just under her shirt, supporting her up on the counter as her feet hovered just off the ground, beginning to coil around his legs, and his other hand was casually exploring her thigh.

It took them only a couple of seconds to realize I was there, and pull apart from each other with sheepish grins at me that I couldn’t return. The unnatural image seemed to be burned against the backs of my eyelids, and I fought desperately to keep the shell-shocked expression off my face as I held the phone out to Sebastian.

“Jo, uh, wants to talk to you…” I trailed off awkwardly.

“Oh okay,” he smiled, taking the phone. “Thanks Bren.”

“No problem,” I muttered.

As he began to speak, I remained standing awkwardly in the doorway. They didn’t appear to want me to leave, but I felt like I was still intruding on something… personal. Charlie gave me a reassuring smile, and I began to feel a slight bit better. She then turned to Sebastian… or Seb, as he’d told me to call him… and I began to take in the one side of the conversation I could hear.

“That’s true, that’s true,” Seb spoke into the phone. “Yes, she’s right here.”

He looked over at Charlie, his face full of adoration, and she smiled back so dazzlingly it could almost blind a man. She’d never smiled at me like that.

“Yep… Well, you already know she always looks gorgeous to me, so that question’s lost…”

I glanced at Charlie – well, that’s a lie, to be honest I couldn’t take my eyes off her at all – and watched as a light blush grazed the apples of her cheeks at Sebastian’s words, that were so purposefully directed at her. I still couldn’t believe she was here right now. I felt like any time she left my sight, she could disappear just as untraceably as last time. The thought terrified me. If I hadn’t had Ryan to keep me in check over the last three years, I might indeed have gone mad. Or if not mad, I certainly wouldn’t have turned out the way I did.

When Sebastian, still on the phone, leaned over to place a light kiss on Charlie’s forehead, I decided to take my leave. I had too much to think about. I waved at the two uncomfortably before turning around and heading outside just as quickly as I had rushed in. The idea of scorching my eyes with soap to rid them of the only-just-PG scene I had unwillingly stumbled across flitted through my mind, but I conclusively decided against that hazardous action.

One thing was certain.

Things had changed.

And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it.