Give It a Try

We sat on his bed, still naked.

“It was just once,” I said reasonably. “There’s no guarantee.”

“But what if-”

I shook my head and made him look at me. “You’ve been saying that for the last half hour.” I kissed him lightly on the lips. “Do you want to talk to our moms about it?”

“Absolutely not!” he said, turning red.

I looked at my bare stomach. “If…. Do you want me to take a morning after pill?”

He stared at my stomach, too. We sat in silence for a long time. I didn’t want to. If I would get pregnant… I’d want to keep it. Would he, though? I made my choice but held my breath.

“No,” he said finally and I sighed in relief. “Like you said, it’s just once. We’ll be… be more careful next time.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m ready to marry you but I don’t know about children just yet.”

I leaned against his shoulder. “I’m not either but… if I do get pregnant, I want to keep it.”

He nodded and held my hand. “I’ll be scared shitless, but I’ll want to keep it, too.”

I kissed his shoulder and we remained in silence.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m supposed to have my period next week,” I said quietly. “If I miss….”

He just nodded again.

-

I woke up a week later freaking out. I hesitated before going to the bathroom. I was one of the lucky ones to get my period on time. I went to the bathroom and let out a sob of relief. My mother knocked on the door and I jumped.

“Open the door,” she said sternly. I sighed and did as she said. She passed me a pregnancy test. “I got this from the doctor.”

I groaned. “How’d you know?”

She arched a brow. “I’m your mother. Now do that.”

“But I’m on my period,” I said. “I thought-”

“Not all the time,” she interrupted. “This is the best test. It can detect it even two weeks later. How long has it been?”

“A week,” I said in a small voice.

“All right. We’ll wait until next week.” She sighed and I sat on the floor. She joined me, holding my hand. “It’ll be okay.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered and she kissed my temple. “We should’ve been more careful but….”

“You get caught up in the heat of the moment,” she said.

“So you’re not disappointed in me?” I breathed.

“Nope,” she said. She stretched her legs out and I did the same. “I was your age when I had you. Your father and I weren’t married at the time. We were just dating.” She hesitated. “Sometimes I think that’s the only reason he asked me to marry him.” I squeezed her hand. “It would explain why he did those things….”

I put my head on my shoulder. “I don’t want to do anything this week.”

“You’re getting married in two weeks,” she reminded me.

“I’ll have a week later,” I mumbled. “Does Evelyn know?”

“Yes. She’s talking to Artemis about it now.”

“Could this get any worse?” I groaned and she laughed.

“Yeah, the press could find out.”

“Good point,” I mumbled.

“Are you going to keep it if you are?”

I nodded. “We talked about it. It’s scaring both of us but…. He wants it, too.”

“That’s good,” she said quickly. “I don’t want you to get upset but your father…. I had you after we got married. After the wedding, we couldn’t consummate because I was pregnant. It made him mad. He couldn’t touch me for two months. He didn’t want you anymore.”

“Did he change his mind after I was born?” I whispered.

“Yes. At least, I thought he had. Looks like I was wrong. But I’m so glad we had you,” she added, putting her arm around me and kissing my cheek. I didn’t realize I was crying. “I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, I might have declined his proposal.”

I cuddled into her and cried some more.

-

One week later, my mother and I were in the bathroom. I was staring at the box, fear pumping through my veins. Evelyn and Artemis were on the other side of the door. No one was talking.

“Do it,” my mother whispered. “Come on.”

“We’re all here for you, baby,” Artemis said through the door and I sobbed.

Hearing his support meant so much to me. I opened the box with shaking hands and lowered my pants. I shut my eyes and we waited the ordered five minutes. It seemed to drag on forever and I started to cry some more.

“It’s time,” my mother said in a shaking voice. “Come on, Dee. It’s time.”

I gulped and opened my eyes. I put a hand over my mouth and sobbed.

—Artemis—

I paced the hallway, listening to Deidre crying and wishing she would come out. I heard her mother comforting her, crying as well. I groaned and put my head in my hands. My mother ran her hand up and down my back. She was shaking a little.

Finally, the door opened. Deidre sobbed into my chest.

“I’m not pregnant,” she said and I held her back, feeling different emotions.

I couldn’t stop my tears, though, as I put my head on hers. Our mothers left to give us time.

“I don’t know what to feel,” she breathed, sniffling.

“I don’t either,” I whispered.

We sat on the hallway floor and I put my arm around her.

“Is it bad that I wanted it to be… true?” she asked.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Part of me wanted the same thing.”

She sobbed a little. “At the same time, though….”

“I know, love,” I breathed and guided her face to mine.

I kissed her but sobbed a little into the kiss and she did the same. We spent about an hour in the hallway, crying and comforting each other. When we calmed down, we went downstairs. Our mothers were waiting for us.

“Be more careful next time,” my mother said seriously.

Deidre nodded, hanging her head.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Janine said. “But you shouldn’t go unprotected until you’re ready.”

We both nodded. I don’t know about Deidre, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat.

“Do you guys want Chinese?” my mother said after some silence.

Deidre laughed and nodded.

I took her into the living room and we sat on the couch while our mothers ordered. I put my arm around her again and she sighed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“For what?” she asked, frowning at me.

“I should’ve been-”

“No,” she interrupted. “You know what they say: it takes two to tango. We’ve learned what we needed to. At least, I have.” She shook her head. “I was so scared.”

I kissed her head. “I was, too. And I’ve learned my lesson, don’t worry about that.”

“Can we… take a break from it?” she mumbled. “At least until the wedding?”

“Of course,” I said quickly. “Whatever you want.”