A New Dawn

As I am sitting here mentally preparing myself for tomorrow I am wondering if this is a good idea. Truthfully I don't know a single thing about Javien. Other than he's a few years older than me and refers to most women as "bitches." I guess he's never really said anything indirect to me so I can't really judge him. I think I'm just overthinking this whole situation.

What's wrong with letting someone in? I haven't had a man in my life in over 5 years and I'm not getting any younger. Maybe this is just what I need to get me out of this slump in life. I don't even know what to wear tomorrow. How do I prepare for something I'm totally oblivious to?

Jesus Rae. Just go to sleep.

The next morning I truly felt like this was the first day of school. I didn't know what to wear or how to do my hair. I was getting frustrated and upset over nothing. Anxiety was kicking in and I just broke down. I'm not very impressionable and I'm not even interested in the guy but for some reason he was interested in me and I didn't want to seem separate from his expectations. In the midst of my crisis a knock came at the door. It was exactly 8:30.

"What's the matter?" His face grew concerned at my blubbering self as I greeted him.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess." I laughed off not knowing what else to say.

"What happened?"

"Well you wanted the real me and this is me. I am nervous and having anxiety because I can't get myself together for what I think you expect in a woman."

"Rae, I just want you to be you. I don't want you trying to be like any other woman just to please me because that defeats the purpose of me getting to know you. There is something very different about you and I'm tired of being surrounded by tramps. Just put yourself together as the Rae that you know you are. I'll wait."

Ok whats the catch to this man? I thought as I walked back to my room feeling more calm. Starting again with a clearer mind I put on a grey and yellow maxi dress and sandals. I pulled my hair back with bobby pins and quickly did my makeup.

"Now that's better." He smiled as I came out quickly. "Beautiful."

"Thank you." I blushed as we walked out to his car. "Good lord you have a R8?" I shrieked making it completely obvious that, that was in fact my favorite car.

"You like?"

"I love! This is very impressive."

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled opening and then closing my door for me.

"So what are we doing today?"

"You'll see. You're very quiet, is there something on your mind?"

"I guess I'm just wondering what it is that you do for a living."

"Now do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to make something up?"

"I'm not sure." I said lowly turning to look away.

Around here everyone basically lived about the same. They had the same amount of money and lived quietly. Javien just seems like the type who is doing so much better than everyone for someone so young and living in the same area as us.

After losing myself in my own thoughts I noticed we had arrived at my favorite seafood place. Blue Crab Feast. It's right on the water outside of Ocean City, Md.

"Ok you're to good." I cheesed getting out of the car quickly.

"What?" He had a playful smile plastered on his face.

"How is it that you know my favorite car plus know my favorite place to eat? Oh! You've been Facebook stalking me!"

"You don't know that."

"It's the only way. I didn't know they were opened this early? You like eating crabs at 10am?"

"I know the owner. I told you you're going to have a great day."

"Major points going your way thats for sure."

"So Rae tell me, What is Rae short for?"

"Nothing thats my middle name."

"Then what is your first name?"

"Lyla."

"Why don't you like being called Lyla?"

"No one's called me Lyla since my mother died. So I just leave it at that."

"I can respect that. I was born Javien Luis Dominguez Johnson. But when I was finally adopted at the age of 16 it became Javien Luis Matos. And i've been fine with that. My father abandoned me and my mother was murdered when I was 3."

"That is terrible. My parents died rock climbing somewhere in South America when I was 6. My grandmother recently passed away so for the past couple of months I have been alone. And it isn't fun."

"Then why are you having such a hard time letting me in?"

"I think my biggest thing is the fact that I was humiliated by someone I thought I was in love with back in high school."

"What happened?"

"Well you know I'm your typical girl who was obsessed with having a boyfriend I did everything for this man. I lied and stole for him and was used all in the same breath. I gave myself to him mentally and physically and he abused them both. He had filmed us having sex when I was 16 and sent it around the whole school. He was expelled and was charged for child porn. That was the only way I was able to break myself from him because he had to go away."

"That's fucked up."

"And that is why I have never been able to trust another man since then. I guess that's why I am so cold to you because I don't want to get hurt again. And i don't want to lead you on and back away. I mean lets face it. Ive seen the women you hang around. I would worry you were cheating on me or enjoying other women more than me. And I'm not going to put myself through that again."

"Let me tell you something straight up. The difference between me and these fuck boys out here is, I'm real. If I were to commit myself to someone and give my all to a woman that would be it. I would be there 100 percent. If a woman is home waiting on me, I want her mind set to be that I'm home waiting on her as well. The women that i'm around are trash. They like attention and like being told how pretty they are and just want that boost for the night. They mean nothing to me. Yeah i'll fuck them and let them do what they want to me because that's all those particular women are good for. If they don't respect themselves why should I respect them?"

"Is your line of work something illegal?" I asked a little to fast after he finished talking.

"In the eyes of the law yes, in my eyes no. I am a legitimate business man and thats all you need to know about that for right now. You hanging out with me is going to raise a few concerns to the law around here. The police and I don't see eye to eye. The less you know the better it is. They come to you asking questions about me you can honestly say you don't know. But I will tell you this. No-one in this town fucks with me. No one in the tristate area fucks with me. Maybe even more higher up on the map, but believe me when I say when you are with me you are never in danger. I would protect you with everything I am. I would take care of you and you wouldn't have to question a thing."

"I feel like your in the mafia."

"Girl you are hilarious." Javien laughed completely out loud.

"I like that you're straight forward with no filter and you tell it like it is."

"I have no reason to lie to you. There are some things about me that you don't need to know about right now but in time if we have a future together I would be glad to let you know whatever you want to know. Now finish up girl we got a whole day ahead of us."

Once we left the restaurant he drove me up to the pier and we walked along the boardwalk. I did notices quite a few stares our way and as we passed by a few officers on their horses he put his arm around my waist and walked with a grin. I felt like a new woman with Javien. He made me feel so happy and carefree that I didn't want the day to end. He is the complete opposite of what I had thought of him from the beginning. Of course the little voice in the back of my mind is saying don't go down this road but on the other hand I'm enjoying myself and laughing and really living in the moment. I really have been missing out on a lot by sitting around and moping all the time.

"Girl what are you thinking about?" Javien broke me from thought.

"Huh?"

"You are staring off in space not listening to anything I'm saying. Ive told you that you're beautiful like 12 times."

"Im sorry, I'm just really enjoying myself right now. I was wrong about you."

"Oh my goodness. The stubborn white girl gave me a compliment! I don't believe this I made her like me." He joked dancing around.

"Oh stop! You're causing a scene." I blushed playfully pushing him away.

"Come on lets go to the water park."

"Where?"

"Jolly Rodgers."

"I haven't been in years. I don't even have a bathing suit!"

"Girl we at the beach. Theres over a thousand stores that have swimwear what is you thinking?"

"Boy don't start." I rolled my eyes following him into a Sunsations off of 42nd street.

We got our swimmer and headed over to Jolly Rodgers a little after 1. We road numerous water slides over and over again. I hadn't laughed so hard in my entire life. We ran around like teenagers until the sun started to set. I really didn't want this day to end I was dreading the walk back to his car as we were leaving.

"Lets get you changed up. I got a condo right down the strip here you can shower."

"Ok but no funny business." I joked.

"Girl please."

His condo was gorgeous thick white fluffy carpet the kitchen was all brand new looked like it had never been entered. The living room was nice with black leather couches and a 60 in television. Along with the bathroom there were two other bedrooms that I didn't go into. After I showered I peaked my head out to make sure he wasn't around.

"Your clothes are in the bedroom down the hall." He answered my mental question.

I go down the hall and go into the room and find something amazing. This man had a brown sleeveless swing dress with gold sandals and jewelry to match. Over at the vanity he had a whole make up department spread out. Brand new mac make up just sitting there never been opened or anything. I felt like I was in a never ending fantasy for real. It was literally surprise after surprise with this man. And this is technically only our first date. Id hate to see what he would do if we were married! I didn't waste any time I blew dried my hair and did my make up first. Then I put my dress on and as I was doing my shoes Javien pops in the room fixing the buttons on his sleeve looking completely dapper.

"Like what you see?" He raised his arms out with a smile.

"I guess." I teased ruffling the curls in my hair behind my shoulders.

"Quit playing you know I look good." He smiled joining me in the mirror to check ourselves out. "Now you on the other hand are gorgeous. Absolutely stunning."

"Thank you." I blushed looking away from him.

"Don't look away when I give you a compliment girl. Embrace that compliment and shine from it. You so shy."

"Get over it. Learn to live with it."

"Oh someone wants me to stick around now."

"Don't get full of yourself. You can't buy my love."

"I bought your attention, I'll earn your love."

That sentence stuck with me the whole ride to dinner. And wouldn't you know this man took me to Ruth Chris. A restaurant I only dreamed of stepping foot in but never being able to afford it. We sat and talked until midnight 7 margaritas in and I was plastered. Laughing about nonsense I didn't even notice that I was getting drunk.

"Ok alchy lets get you home." Javien laughed walking me to the car.

I briefly dozed off for what seemed like a couple seconds but was quickly awakened by Javien nudging me to let me know that we were back at my home.

"Oh my goodness you drive fast boy." I giggled tripping on the grass.

"Jeez girl I should of cut you off." Javien laughed picking me up to carry me inside. "Are you going to be ok?"

"Yes i'l be fine I can take care of myself."

"Let me just help you to your room. I'll stay until you get into your pajamas and get into bed."

"Ok goofball." I chuckled stumbling to the bathroom. I changed real quick and he was still at the door waiting for me to come out. " I thought you left."

"Girl bring yourself in here."

"You're going to go home?"

"Yes I am. I'm going to put my number in your cell phone so you can call or text me in the morning."

"That sounds good chief. I want you to know I really had a good time today. This was amazing and Im really fighting the drunk Rae right now to tell you this."

"I know you had fun, I'm glad you did. I enjoyed being with you."

Without giving it another thought I jumped up and kissed him. It wasn't a very direct one. It was one of those half lip half corner of the mouth type things. There was a pause for me trying to get my balance since I was on my knees at the foot of my bed but he held me still and kissed me one solid time on the lips and pulled away. I fell back into bed and passed out.