Expensive Conversations
II
I have never been able to say for sure when I figured out that I was different. Could it be when I purposefully drowned my sisters hamster? Maybe. Could it have been before then, could I have become this way whilst still in the womb? Possibly.
It has been said that there are many reasons for someone to intentionally kill another person. Many of these reasons can be found to have valid reasoning behind them. But what about, I don't know, just because I felt like it? Because I can. No matter who you ask, they will never find that to be a valid reason. I guess you could call me a psychopath if it helps you sleep at night. Even though I'm not a psychopath. To be a psychopath you must have a pre-existing mental disorder and have a violent or abnormal behavior. It's actually pretty textbook stuff, you know?
I am what you would call a sociopath. Meaning that I lack a conscience. Yeah, that little voice in the back of your head that is supposed to tell you what is right and what is wrong, your own personal tour guide throughout life. Never met it, I think it might have killed itself when it heard the thoughts roaming around inside my head. Too much for the poor little guy to handle.
Sociopaths are also known to be antisocial and reflect that sort of behavior. Yet, I am in no way at all antisocial. I want to kill you, I want to be near you, to get to know you and become close to you. To sometimes have relationships with you. Why? I like to keep my interests close. I want to know every stupid detail about your life to gain your trust. I want to thoroughly mind fuck you. Because you thought I was so nice and could trust me and would never think that it was a bad idea to take a scenic route on a trip that we take on a whim. So that I'm seen as a friend or lover, not the suspect whom you were last seen with. Understand?
i have no conscience to tell me that that is wrong. I know that in society it can be viewed as very wrong, but to me, it's just a day in the life of me.
I have no conscience to tell me that while I kiss your neck with my hands on your naked body, feeling the warmth of your touch while I'm inside you that it is wrong to let you think that this is love. What is love? To feel a connection so strong that even the sharpest of knives couldn't sever it? I don't know what that would even begin to mean.
Love, I think, is just an excuse or word that we use so that we can act upon lust. The world is addicted to sex and the chemicals that are released during the act. It's not an emotion, it's just another high. It makes you high just as feeling the air deflate from your lungs gets me high. Love is nothing but a little dopamine. But if you do want to call it love, whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart.
It has been said that there are many reasons for someone to intentionally kill another person. Many of these reasons can be found to have valid reasoning behind them. But what about, I don't know, just because I felt like it? Because I can. No matter who you ask, they will never find that to be a valid reason. I guess you could call me a psychopath if it helps you sleep at night. Even though I'm not a psychopath. To be a psychopath you must have a pre-existing mental disorder and have a violent or abnormal behavior. It's actually pretty textbook stuff, you know?
I am what you would call a sociopath. Meaning that I lack a conscience. Yeah, that little voice in the back of your head that is supposed to tell you what is right and what is wrong, your own personal tour guide throughout life. Never met it, I think it might have killed itself when it heard the thoughts roaming around inside my head. Too much for the poor little guy to handle.
Sociopaths are also known to be antisocial and reflect that sort of behavior. Yet, I am in no way at all antisocial. I want to kill you, I want to be near you, to get to know you and become close to you. To sometimes have relationships with you. Why? I like to keep my interests close. I want to know every stupid detail about your life to gain your trust. I want to thoroughly mind fuck you. Because you thought I was so nice and could trust me and would never think that it was a bad idea to take a scenic route on a trip that we take on a whim. So that I'm seen as a friend or lover, not the suspect whom you were last seen with. Understand?
i have no conscience to tell me that that is wrong. I know that in society it can be viewed as very wrong, but to me, it's just a day in the life of me.
I have no conscience to tell me that while I kiss your neck with my hands on your naked body, feeling the warmth of your touch while I'm inside you that it is wrong to let you think that this is love. What is love? To feel a connection so strong that even the sharpest of knives couldn't sever it? I don't know what that would even begin to mean.
Love, I think, is just an excuse or word that we use so that we can act upon lust. The world is addicted to sex and the chemicals that are released during the act. It's not an emotion, it's just another high. It makes you high just as feeling the air deflate from your lungs gets me high. Love is nothing but a little dopamine. But if you do want to call it love, whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart.