A Little Bit of Truth
Chapter 3
I felt like no one would every get it, no one would ever understand and my feelings of self hatred went on for years. I grew as a person over the years, time went by,
I got stuck in a few bad long distance relationships and one huge mistake in the form of an 18 year old rebound, I lost friends, gained few, my attitude towards life
started to improve bit by bit. I felt like I cold breathe a tiny bit better, not much, but a little. I was a closeted mess that was better at keeping everything in. I
had defeated my need to self harm, my arms were no longer covered in cuts, nor were my legs. I was struggling with an eating disorder but since I am bigger, no one
seemed to notice when I skipped a meal or two and my purging was a private event. Nobody had a clue. I was getting better at wearing my mask, keeping a steady voice
when I claimed everything was ''fine'' that I was ''alright''...nobody knew a thing. And in a way that made me happy, I felt like less of a burden when my struggles
were unseen. The only one who was let in was my closest friend, but even she got a sugar coated version of the truth. The only person I could trust with it was me,
myself and I. I am getting better at leaning on someone I trust for help when I need, being so self dependent for so long has taken a toll apparently.
I got stuck in a few bad long distance relationships and one huge mistake in the form of an 18 year old rebound, I lost friends, gained few, my attitude towards life
started to improve bit by bit. I felt like I cold breathe a tiny bit better, not much, but a little. I was a closeted mess that was better at keeping everything in. I
had defeated my need to self harm, my arms were no longer covered in cuts, nor were my legs. I was struggling with an eating disorder but since I am bigger, no one
seemed to notice when I skipped a meal or two and my purging was a private event. Nobody had a clue. I was getting better at wearing my mask, keeping a steady voice
when I claimed everything was ''fine'' that I was ''alright''...nobody knew a thing. And in a way that made me happy, I felt like less of a burden when my struggles
were unseen. The only one who was let in was my closest friend, but even she got a sugar coated version of the truth. The only person I could trust with it was me,
myself and I. I am getting better at leaning on someone I trust for help when I need, being so self dependent for so long has taken a toll apparently.