I See Fire

"What do you remember, love?" Chibs' thick Irish accent asked from across the table. We were in Church, club members only; except me of course, just this one time. It was technically club business, and I know the only reason the Sons were allowing me in this room of secrets is because I was the only one who could tell them what they needed to know.

For the first time in ten years, I could actually answer that question. I told them everything from my flashback. From waking up to being brought to Jax's mom, Gemma. They all listened intently. Bobby took notes with a notepad and pencil. The Sons never once took their eyes off of me, not even to fish their lighters out of their pockets.

After I was finished answering all their questions Happy stood up and escorted me to the double doors. "Thank you." He smiled. "Just wait by the bar, get a drink if you'd like. We shouldn't be much longer."

I sighed as the double doors shut tightly behind me. I was shut out once again. People don't change, I thought to myself. I sat on the bar stool and met a new Prospect, Half-Sack, who apparently had one of his nuts shot off in the war - thus deeming him Half-Sack for the rest of his life. He poured me a root beer and kept me company while we were waiting for Church to get done.

"Damn, you have a cut and they shut you out too, huh?"

"Until I get my patches." Half-Sack smiled. "They don't completely shut me out but I'm not allowed in Church... I don't even know if I should be telling you this, to be honest."

I sighed. "Jax shut me out of everything when he got patched in... he used to tell me everything."

He nodded slowly as he straightened beer bottles on the back bar. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "Do you ever think that... maybe Jax shut you out so you wouldn't get hurt?"

I sat my drink down on the bar and smiled at him. "Well, if those were his intentions it didn't work. I still got hurt, my parents still got murdered and my house was still set on fire. So it was all for nothing."

"S-Sorry," He stammered.

"Don't be," I shrugged. "Can you promise me something, Half-Sack?"

"I-I guess."

"When you do get patched in and find a girl don't be an asshole, okay? Or I will personally make sure Gemma cut off your other nut."

He stopped in his tracks, almost like a deer in the headlights. He just looked at me and nodded. "You're Gemma Junior I swear, Zoey."

The double doors swung open and the men piled into the bar. Half-Sack went into work mode and starting handing out beers to the men. Jax was the last one out and he came straight over to me. "Thank you for telling us what you remember. It'll help us in the long run trying to find the Monarch's."

"So what happens when you do find them?" I asked.

Jax just gave me that look. That look that silently said to keep my mouth shut and not to worry about it. But how was I supposed to not worry about finding these assholes? This was a huge breakthrough in my parents murder. This was a huge breakthrough in my life, and I'd be damned if I was going to let it slip through the cracks or get shut out.

"First things first, we survey the Monarch's territory. Find out what we're dealing with, when they're the most active and what they're packing." Chibs spoke up. Jax gave him a disapproving look but he ignored it.

"They're heavy into blow and black tar, so they're always on guard and packing up the ass." Tig added.

"So what happens if they've got more than we can handle?" I asked.

Chibs just smiled at me. "Don't worry about it, love. They're the ones who won't be able to handle us."

"So wait, if this was retaliation because my dad ditched them why didn't they come after me again when they learned I was still alive? Mine and my parents faces were plastered all over every newspaper in San Joaquin county. They had to have seen it."

Jax stood up and put his arm around my shoulders, leading me towards the front door. "Alright, that's enough leaked information. Zoey, you have class. Don't worry, we'll take care of things."

I let him escort me out to the front parking lot. He dragged me to his bike and placed a helmet on my head. He went to go buckle the straps for me but I slapped his hands away.

"I'm not a baby I can do it myself." I snapped the buckle into place and swung my leg over his motorcycle. I plopped down onto the seat with a huff.

"Why are you so grumpy?" Jax asked as he climbed onto the motorcycle himself without a helmet.

"Gee, I wonder why. Let's go down the list shall we?" I unbuckled the strap on the helmet and took it off. I climbed off this bike and stood in front of it holding the handle bars looking straight at Jax. "First of all, I just had to relive that entire fucking experience with nothing more than a 'thank you' and then a door slammed in my face. And then you won't give me the information so Chibs had to, and then you drag me out of TM before anyone had the chance to answer my question. What are you hiding from me Jax? What are you so scared of? What if it was your dad?"

"Zoey, don't go there."

"Don't go where? To the truth? My parents died, Jackson. If your dad had been killed by retaliation wouldn't you want revenge too?"

"I told you not to go there!"

"Yeah well haven't you learned yet that I'm not some club whore who jumps at every goddamned command? You can't tell me what to do, Jax. I'm a grown woman!" I ripped the helmet off my head and placed it on Jax's a little harder than necessary. I turned around and headed straight for the only person who would ever take my side in this situation, who also happened to be the only person who could get Jax to listen.

On the side of the double-door garage there's an office. Patients come in there to schedule repairs if they don't call first or to pay for their tabs. There was on woman who ran it all. The only woman who has been part of SAMCRO from day one. Jax's mom, Gemma.

Not a lot of people cared for Gemma too much. She was loud, outspoken and had a killer right hook. But, she loved her family more than anything in the entire world and I think that's really what bonded us. I was taken to her house on the night my parents died and she cradled me all night until the police came looking for me to ask me questions. By then I had forgotten. She worked with me to try to regain my memory, but nothing worked. It was something I didn't want to remember. She was my second mother.

Before I could go into the office, Jax ran up behind me and grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I tried to fight him but it was no use. He was stronger and I was tired. "Don't go running to someone else to fight your battles." He said.

"Gemma is the only one who can get it through your thick skull that I need to be involved with this. I need to do something. I've just sat on my ass for ten years living my life without knowing anything and now that I have the opportunity to give my parents the justice they deserve you're trying to push me out of it!" I finally got him to release my arm and without saying another word to him despite him calling after me, I started walking and I kept walking until my legs were sore, leaving all the answers I was never going to get behind.