Inevitable Silences
Support Group
“I am Ney, my parents are deaf, yes you 'heard' me right both of my parents.” I smile as people have a quick giggle at my inane joke. “I used to attend events with my father as his translator so if this was one of those events instead of a support group I may have opened with his usual ‘these chairs’ shtick.”
My sister Aby (16) sighs at me, we had decided to finally try out a support group for Children of Deaf and Hard of Hearing (HoH) and Young D&HoH Adults at our local charity run centre: The St. Frances De Sales Centre.
St. Frances De Sales is the default patron saint for hard of hearing and deaf people as he supposedly helped Deaf/HoH suffers.
I’m not particularly religious but Aby is superstitious. You see our mother, Laura, lost her hearing at age 4 due to a terrible bout of meningitis and she met our father at their university’s Society for Deaf /HoH students. Father, Albert, lost his hearing gradually from age 19, he was pronounced clinically deaf at age 23 and our whole paternal family (minus Nana) have gone deaf from this inherited syndrome.
What worried me and Aby, is that we have a 50% chance of inheriting the loss of hearing from our father. I am 19, but Aby is the one freaking out as she doesn’t want to go deaf. I know that if only one of us could be deaf and the other totally fine, she secretly wishes it will be me, but I know better due to my higher knowledge of biology that both or either of us could be deaf or not, 50% doesn’t split like head and tails.
I myself agreed to come here as I am becoming paranoid that one day I’ll wake and never be able to hear again. I have started collecting sounds in my head and bringing them up the memory when I’m in a quiet room, I don’t know if this will work if I lose my hearing but trying is worth it.
I zone out as the woman starts talking and signing about how she lost her hearing…
Abigail –
Sometimes I wonder why Courtney joins me at this group, when she so obviously, wishes not to be here. That joke was not funny, it was sad.
You think she might take it more serious when she is now nineteen the same age when Dad and Aunt Hymn started to lose their hearing. Mum was just unlucky as a child, but then again she might not have met dad otherwise, deaf people are very much excluded in everyday society.
I listen to Marjorie’s tale of loss and am relived as both my parents are deaf, Ney and I are lucky to be multilingual in English and BSL (British sign language). Marjorie had to learn to sign after she had lost her hearing due to a stroke during her swimming finals at age 14.
I smile as Marjorie and the rest of the group share all the new signs they know. I share none as I know most already, I sign goodbye to all my fellow deaf or HoH peers and leave with Ney before the tea and biscuits, she likes to socialise as little as possible.
I can’t refuse to go as she’s my lift but I would one day like to make friends with my children of D&HoH peers. Courtney sighs when she gets in the car, tomorrow she leaves for university and knows that she could be in a new town and lose her hearing at the same time.
Mother has a penchant for punctuality and Ney, drives just above the speed limit to get us home before dinner as we don’t want to explain where we’ve been after she picked me up from school.
As we pull up outside the house, I see mum fixing the doorbell so that the lights flash white in the house when someone rings the bell, meaning the red light will be only used for the fire and house alarm, a small relief as I panic when the red light goes off at night and it ends up being totally harmless, e.g. A kindly neighbour who noticed the dog had escaped from the garden.
I see my mother’s petite frame balancing on a particularly wobbly ladder. I hop out of the car and I grab the ladder and hold it still, she wobbles then smiles reassuringly when she sees me. Ney walks past into the house after waving ‘hi’.
My sister Aby (16) sighs at me, we had decided to finally try out a support group for Children of Deaf and Hard of Hearing (HoH) and Young D&HoH Adults at our local charity run centre: The St. Frances De Sales Centre.
St. Frances De Sales is the default patron saint for hard of hearing and deaf people as he supposedly helped Deaf/HoH suffers.
I’m not particularly religious but Aby is superstitious. You see our mother, Laura, lost her hearing at age 4 due to a terrible bout of meningitis and she met our father at their university’s Society for Deaf /HoH students. Father, Albert, lost his hearing gradually from age 19, he was pronounced clinically deaf at age 23 and our whole paternal family (minus Nana) have gone deaf from this inherited syndrome.
What worried me and Aby, is that we have a 50% chance of inheriting the loss of hearing from our father. I am 19, but Aby is the one freaking out as she doesn’t want to go deaf. I know that if only one of us could be deaf and the other totally fine, she secretly wishes it will be me, but I know better due to my higher knowledge of biology that both or either of us could be deaf or not, 50% doesn’t split like head and tails.
I myself agreed to come here as I am becoming paranoid that one day I’ll wake and never be able to hear again. I have started collecting sounds in my head and bringing them up the memory when I’m in a quiet room, I don’t know if this will work if I lose my hearing but trying is worth it.
I zone out as the woman starts talking and signing about how she lost her hearing…
Abigail –
Sometimes I wonder why Courtney joins me at this group, when she so obviously, wishes not to be here. That joke was not funny, it was sad.
You think she might take it more serious when she is now nineteen the same age when Dad and Aunt Hymn started to lose their hearing. Mum was just unlucky as a child, but then again she might not have met dad otherwise, deaf people are very much excluded in everyday society.
I listen to Marjorie’s tale of loss and am relived as both my parents are deaf, Ney and I are lucky to be multilingual in English and BSL (British sign language). Marjorie had to learn to sign after she had lost her hearing due to a stroke during her swimming finals at age 14.
I smile as Marjorie and the rest of the group share all the new signs they know. I share none as I know most already, I sign goodbye to all my fellow deaf or HoH peers and leave with Ney before the tea and biscuits, she likes to socialise as little as possible.
I can’t refuse to go as she’s my lift but I would one day like to make friends with my children of D&HoH peers. Courtney sighs when she gets in the car, tomorrow she leaves for university and knows that she could be in a new town and lose her hearing at the same time.
Mother has a penchant for punctuality and Ney, drives just above the speed limit to get us home before dinner as we don’t want to explain where we’ve been after she picked me up from school.
As we pull up outside the house, I see mum fixing the doorbell so that the lights flash white in the house when someone rings the bell, meaning the red light will be only used for the fire and house alarm, a small relief as I panic when the red light goes off at night and it ends up being totally harmless, e.g. A kindly neighbour who noticed the dog had escaped from the garden.
I see my mother’s petite frame balancing on a particularly wobbly ladder. I hop out of the car and I grab the ladder and hold it still, she wobbles then smiles reassuringly when she sees me. Ney walks past into the house after waving ‘hi’.