Burning Bridges

It was a little past six o’clock on a Saturday and twenty-seven year old Natalie Keeler was running late, per usual. The heels of her boots echoed as she rounded the lower levels of Madison Square Garden. She returned the equally gleeful smile to the middle aged security guard behind his desk and hoped he wouldn’t notice when she pick up her pace to avoid making small talk with him. As she edged closer to the locker room, she could hear all the yelling and commotion as first home game jitters settled in.

Marc Staal saw her first, his eyes crinkling as a smile spread across his face like nothing had even changed, which was just what she was dreading on her way over to the arena.

Marc nudged Derick, who momentarily took his eyes off the soccer ball to send her questioning look – one that was soft and genuinely confused. He quickly kneed the ball off and started towards her. He took a sip from his water bottle and let out a small sign as he gently placed his hand on the small of Natalie’s back to bring her away from anyone’s ear shot.

Natalie knocked his hand away as discreetly as she could and in the bright, industrial lights she sighed herself. She looked dead tired as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair that was haphazardly tossed around her angular face. Though the dark bags under her dark blue eyes were mostly concealed by makeup it was still obvious to Derick how worn-out she was. She was wearing a thin sweater over a faded Ranger’s t-shirt and a pair of form fitting jeans. Her cheeks were pink as she chewed on her bottom lip – a nervous tick.

“Where’s Mila?” Derick asked, peering around her.
“She’s at the seats with Nick – something about bonding with her favorite uncle.”

“So basically he’s getting her into a sugar high and I’ll never get her to sleep tonight?”

Natalie shrugged and slightly smiled. She was thankful to hand off the almost two year old after her older brother had a hold of her.

After Natalie had spent the past summer flying back and forth between Ohio and New York for family and work, the stress of taking care of Mila by herself began to take its toll. Even though she hated to admit it, she was desperate for help especially with Derick busy and mostly home in Quebec. Nick was the only person she trusted and that understood what she’d been through rather what she was still going through.

She took a small black knapsack off her shoulder and extended it out to Derick. “There are enough clothes in there to last the next few days but other than that it’s all the basic necessities.”

Derick nodded, taking it and dropping it next to his feet. “So I have her till Tuesday?”

"Does that not work for you?”

“No it does.” Derick cleared his throat and wiped some of the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. “Uh, this time at least. It’s just that we’ve never done this during the season and away games do have to be factored in.”

Natalie tucked some fallen hair behind her ear and pursed her lips. This conversation was being dragged out a lot longer than she expected and definitely longer then she wanted it to. Her heart was pounding fast and she was sure anyone in a three mile radius could hear it. “I’m free to go over our schedules when I pick her up, is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, I think that should work.” He scratched the back of his head, racking his brain of his own agenda for tomorrow. His mind was a jumbled mess and he hadn't had a lot time to sort everything out as of late. Between the off season training he'd been doing, working on his house in Hull, and making sure he was an active role in Mila's life with her so many miles away, it really took a toll on him. "I’ll be able to text you a definite time later tonight. You didn’t change your number did you?”

Natalie slowly shook her head. She had considered it though. She actually considered changing a lot of things. "I'll just meet you with Mila after the game."

"Sure," he shrugged and then added "I'll see you then."

“Yeah, see you then.” Natalie mimicked, waving as Derick himself turned away to go into the locker room. She crossed her arms and walked back towards the elevators. She’d gotten back upstairs reasonably quickly and found Mila sitting on Nick’s lap with an open bag of cotton candy in one hand and a handful of French fries in the other. Natalie rolled her eyes and took her seat.

It was never her plan to come tonight but after finding an envelope of tickets shoved under the front door and with Mila having a major meltdown over watching the game on the television Natalie gave in. But her mind was completely elsewhere and not even the screaming of nearly eighteen thousand people as the team took the ice for warm ups could bring her back to the shattered reality her life had become.



Derick Brassard toyed with the strap of the duffle bag on his shoulder as he exited the locker room. His body was sore but in a good way and things looked promising going forward with the season after the team had just sealed their third straight win.

Natalie was waiting for him outside of the locker room with Mila balanced on her hip. She didn’t look quite as disheveled as she had earlier and her hair had been tamed and pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck.

Derick approached her absently pulling his hat down further on his head, just enough to cover his damp hair. “And here I thought she was going to be bouncing off the walls.” He commented, reaching for Mila. He smoothed back her soft brown curls from her eyes and the toddler easily snuggled into him, letting out an exhausted yawn.

“No that was the second and third period.” Natalie rolled her eyes, doing her best to hide a smile. After chasing Mila up and down the stairs of their section she was thankful she would be able to skip leg day at the gym tomorrow.

Derick laughed and after a few moments of silence he nodded towards the door that led to the parking lot where they both had parked. They fell into step next to each other. Mostly everyone had already cleared out, Derick being one of the last guys out of the locker room. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

Natalie shook her head, her lips parting to respond no but instead she shrugged. She didn't mind since she did get to catch up with some of the other wives and girlfriends and even some of the guys on the team that she had missed seeing but Derick didn’t need to know that.

“You had a good game.” Natalie commented

“Couldn’t have gotten that goal without Boyle’s chip pass.” He shrugged and unlocked his car. Nick waved from behind the passenger side window of Natalie's SUV next to it. Natalie motioned to him that it’d only be a second. After he got rejected by the ice girls he'd been hitting on he went to go sulk in the car.

So,” Derick began, as he shut the back door where Mila was now buckled in her car seat and fast asleep.

“So,” Natalie repeated, shoving her now shaking hands into her sweatshirt pockets. Sooner or later they had to be real and as usual she was the one to shatter the dream. They could play a happy family in front of people day and night but doing it when it was just the two of them had to be some form of bizarre torture and Natalie was not one willing to participate. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” He asked, completely puzzled.

“Pretend like we are still together. As far as I’m concerned it’s uncomfortable and it’s awkward Derick. I’m sick of acting like I’m part of the Brady Bunch.”

He opened his mouth a tiny frown creasing his brow. “I’m not sure what you are getting at Nat.”

“I need you to tell the guys about us. Them not knowing is making it ten times harder to move on. I’ve already accepted that we've broken up and I think that it is time for you to too.”

“Where did all of this come from?” he questioned calmly. “All we did was walk to our cars and then you just flip a switch on me.”

“Derick this didn’t come out of nowhere. You’ve had over five months to sort your shit out.”

“I apologized Natalie.” He said, his voice slightly raised. He pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath and continued in his usual soft voice. “I apologized multiple times. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

“Nothing Derick.” She answered, shaking her head. “I don't want anything.”
"Please don't push me away Natalie, that is the worst thing you can do right now.”

Natalie looked up to face him after standing there silently and kicking at some loose gravel. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering but she had no control over her faltering voice. She shook her head and blinked hard to keep her tears from falling. She'd come back to New York expecting things to be different or more or less go back to normal but her and Derick's problems seemed too big for them to handle at this tender moments in their lives. Natalie let out another sigh and met Derick's big brown eyes. "I’m not the one pushing you away Derick. You did this to us. This is all your fault."