ILY
adore//admire//affection
“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug, once again letting you decide how we will spend our afternoon together. I couldn’t care less what we were doing, anything from a luxury spa treatment to picking up trash on the beach, as long as we are together. It wasn’t like I intended to fall for you, it just sort of happened. Shortly after we met in the study group and a spark flew it was inevitable that we became close friends, but my fondness surprisingly spiralled even further than that. Now I find that every single thing about you is alluring, from the way your hair catches the sunlight to that brand of lipgloss you use that makes your plump lips seem even more kissable, and I want to reach out and brush your long hair off your face while staring deep into your eyes, right before I show you without using any words just how strong my affection is.
“Love that top, by the way,” I remark and your face lights up with a smile. You then launch into a detailed explanation of your latest shopping excursion that I wish I could have been there for, but you have other friends as well and I understand and respect that. If only we weren’t just friends then I might be more satisfied with the times we do get to spend together. I don’t know how to tell you. How exactly does someone tell their best friend that you’re in love with them? How do you tear down that friendship in hopes of building a stronger romance? I want to break the barriers that say that two women can’t love each other in that particular way because I know that they are lies. I’m living proof, after all. Even Romeo and Juliet would be jealous of my adoration of you.
“You know, Rachel, I-” I begin and you tilt your head in my direction. In my head I had hoped that if I started talking then I would have no choice but to finish my confession, but I had been wrong. I was far too cowardly to voice my thoughts to you and I stop halfway, leaving you wearing a puzzled expression. I’m glad that I have my sunglasses to hide behind and I ruffle my hair up with my hand while telling you to not worry about it. You tease me and playfully beg to know what I was about to say but I don’t give in. Even though you reassure me that you do want to know, I know there’s a chance that you would regret hearing those words come from my lips. Besides, if I speak the truth, we’ll probably lose our friendship. I couldn’t cope with not seeing you again. Perhaps admiring you from this distance will have to suffice after all, but it won’t make me stop loving you.
“Love that top, by the way,” I remark and your face lights up with a smile. You then launch into a detailed explanation of your latest shopping excursion that I wish I could have been there for, but you have other friends as well and I understand and respect that. If only we weren’t just friends then I might be more satisfied with the times we do get to spend together. I don’t know how to tell you. How exactly does someone tell their best friend that you’re in love with them? How do you tear down that friendship in hopes of building a stronger romance? I want to break the barriers that say that two women can’t love each other in that particular way because I know that they are lies. I’m living proof, after all. Even Romeo and Juliet would be jealous of my adoration of you.
“You know, Rachel, I-” I begin and you tilt your head in my direction. In my head I had hoped that if I started talking then I would have no choice but to finish my confession, but I had been wrong. I was far too cowardly to voice my thoughts to you and I stop halfway, leaving you wearing a puzzled expression. I’m glad that I have my sunglasses to hide behind and I ruffle my hair up with my hand while telling you to not worry about it. You tease me and playfully beg to know what I was about to say but I don’t give in. Even though you reassure me that you do want to know, I know there’s a chance that you would regret hearing those words come from my lips. Besides, if I speak the truth, we’ll probably lose our friendship. I couldn’t cope with not seeing you again. Perhaps admiring you from this distance will have to suffice after all, but it won’t make me stop loving you.
