Backwards

Regan shoots darts with me for a bit and all the while, I keep eyeing the spot at the bar we just abandoned. Others have spread out and taken it over, but no sign of Nate. I wonder what he'll do when he sees I'm not there anymore. Carry me out of the bar, slung over his shoulder again? A tinge of wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

"A good candidate, huh?" I ask Regan, flinging a dart at the board.

"Oh my God, yeah. Did you see those arms? If that's any sign of what's downstairs then he can definitely keep you busy for a while."

"He's kind of an ass." Kind of being an understatement, but it might just be his sexiest quality. Aside from those eyes. And his mouth. Not to mention his smile. And the dark black hair that's too long on top but would probably feel great slipping through my fingers...

"And? You're tougher than anyone I know. I think you can handle an asshole for one night."

Handle an asshole? No big deal. But Nate is a special sort of asshole. One that comes with a blazing glare and a brilliant smile. An asshole that could really make first, second and third on my roster. Hey, maybe even short stop. Who knows?

"Last night," I start to tell Regan about my first encounter with Nate but I'm cut off.

"How about a little two on two, girls?" A guy with more spikes in his hair than a hedgehog interrupts, nodding at his equally spiked friend behind him. Spike Number One has three small letters embroidered into the corner of his shirt to let people know that yes, he belongs to a frat and the flipped up collar must signify that, watch out, he's here to party.

"Okay," I say sweetly, raising the pitch in my voice. "Can we bet on it? That would be so fun, right?" I turn to Regan and flutter my eyelashes.

"Yeah, totally." She says, going along with the little girl act. Spike Number Two comes in and stands next to Regan, claiming her as the one he'll be "taking home". Yeah, okay.

"You see, we could. But I wouldn't feel right taking anything from you beautiful girls. So how about if we win, we get to take you girls out."

I am trying so damn hard not to roll my eyes. So hard.

"And if we win?" Regan asks.

"You guys choose."

"Sounds fair." I smile and then see Nate leaning against the bar, talking to someone. He hasn't stopped to look for me and I can't lie but it sort of pisses me off. God Riley, let's get it together. I turn my focus back at the board. "What game?" I ask.

"Cricket? You guys know it?"

"It's been a while. Can we get a few practice shots in first?" Regan asks, completely taking over the hustle. She takes three shots and hits everywhere but the dart board. Good thing she's got it in with one of the employees. I can't see Sebastian getting too mad for putting tiny holes in the walls, especially if she lets him know while she flutters her eyelashes a bit.

The Spike Twins bump fists like idiots and I know they think they have us. We let them lead for a while, then the whole thing gets a little boring. And honestly, I just want to go back to flirting with Nate. He might be an ass, but he's a sexy ass who keeps me entertained, plus if I get something out of it tonight, all the better.

"What did you say we get if we win?" I ask, dropping the act. They don't notice though. All they see are two pretty girls that look like easy targets.

"Whatever you like, babe."

Oh, ew. I glance at Regan and she just nods. "Well see, I like greenbacks with dead presidents on them. How about a hundred?"

Spike Number One looks a little confused and then when I start clipping off the numbers I need from the dartboard one by one, the light bulb, albeit a very dim one, turns on.

"You guys fucking hustled us." Spike Number Two says, shocked, as Regan finishes it off and hits the last number we need to close out and win.

"Sorry, not sorry." I say, holding my hand out.

"Bullshit." He says, slapping two fifties in my palm. Nice. I don't even have to get change. "We were taking it easy on you guys too."

"Sure you were, Patsy."

"Yeah, how about we go again and see? Then I'll tell you what I really want if I win." He smiles, looking down at my chest. Wow, classy. Before I can open my mouth, Nate's towering body hovers over us. I'm surprised by his timing, but then I feel my hands start to get sweaty again and that surprises me even more.

"Get the fuck out of here." He says as simple as someone telling time, nodding his head in the other direction. Both Spikes stare at Nate pale faced and nod quickly before retreating back to the bar.

"I could've handled it." I say, glad that my attitude is still intact, despite the fact that my nervous system is about to implode. I never had a guy stand up for me before. I usually do it myself. Not that I'm reeling over the gesture or anything.

His eyes narrow under his thick black eyebrows in question. "Handled what?" His voice is deep, even more so now that he has me pinned between a wall.

"Creepy Frat Guy." I have to look away because I know he's staring at me with those piercing green eyes.

"Why? What did he say?" He sounds more possessive than inquisitive but I try not to look too deep into that.

"Something douchey." I look up just in time to see him start to walk in their direction, but I grab his arm and he freezes. "Not worth it."

"Look at you being a pacifist." He smiles, his lips pressed together. It's the first time I notice how full they actually are.

"I know it's your job, but you don't have to throw him out. He's just an idiot." I try to stay as competent as I can, keeping the conversation relevant so he can stop staring at me like he wants something from me.

"My job?"

"Yeah. Why aren't you wearing one of those shirts?" I point at the bouncer standing by the back door with BRASS KNUCKLE scrawled in yellow across his chest. He's even bigger than Nate, not as tall but his body is screaming steroid abuse. It's a little too much I think.

Nate laughs loudly and flashes his perfect teeth. "You think I'm a bouncer?"

"Um, you did just carry me out of here or did you already forget?"

"Yeah, I won't ever forget that, Riley." My name coming out of his mouth surprises me, but the way he's smiling is almost making me forget the fact he just basically denounced being any part of the security team. Almost.

"So, you're not a bouncer?"

He lays his palm flat against the wall beside my head, like he did earlier. His face is just an arm's length away from me. "Nope."

"What the fuck!" I push against his chest.

"Someone had to get you outside." He shrugs, not at all affected by my meek attempt to get him away from me.

"Why did you come over here then?" If he wasn't trying to drag that creep outside...

"Because you left when I told you not to." He says it without a change in expression, so smug and exuding confidence.

"Not sure if you've noticed, but I don't take direction very well."

"No shit." He slides his hand behind my neck and pulls me off the wall. "Come on."

I let him guide me to the bar, partly because I can't seem to make my own decisions at the moment and also because of the sheer dominance of the gesture. Something about it forms a knot in my stomach. My breaths are drawing in deeper and I need someone to slap me so I can get a hold of myself. I look for Regan but she's at the end of the bar, talking to Sebastian again. I can't imagine why I didn't notice her leave once the game was over. A little preoccupied? I think so.

Nate doesn't drop his heavy hand until we're sitting down with two beers in front of us and I drink because I don't know what to say. He gets patted on the shoulder by a few people walking by and gives them a head nod in return.

"Are you in a boy band?" I ask.

"What?" He nearly spits his beer out.

"Well, everyone here seems to know you. Being a member of a boy band was my first thought."

"And what was your second?"

"You had a small part in a soap opera."

"Actually, I think that might be it." A smile grows on his face but then slowly diminishes. Cool but no longer confident. It's more like an unawareness of his reigning status around here. "I helped Seb and them with the re-opening. Just been around, I guess."

He doesn't look at me when he says it, and that tells a lot. My mom once dated a guy who gambled almost religiously. He knew everyone's tell, everyone's secret, just by looking at them.

"Would you still talk to me if I were?" He asks me with a smirk.

"If you were what?" I ask, not following anymore.

"In a boy band."

"Oh, God no. That shit's not cool." I laugh because he's the complete opposite of what a member of a boy band should look like. He's rugged and mean and sexy. Oh so sexy.

"You should smile more."

"And you should carry me out of bars more often, too." It slips out of my mouth before I can retract it but I own up to it and stay cool, finishing the rest of my beer. I guess my mind is going along with my body and is trying to close this deal down.

"You liked that, huh?" His smirk is to die for and that's exactly how I'm feeling. Dead. Cross my heart. Hope to die a satisfied girl. I know his type. The jock who spends more time working out then working on his personality. A perfect starter to my roster: the guy that doesn't give a shit about a thing, just himself.

"Surprisingly."

"And I've conquered the Ice Queen."

"Oh, really?" I only laugh because he's chuckling and it's severly attractive. Otherwise, I would have kicked him.

"Who knew a mean girl could be so gorgeous?" He smirks.

I want to ask him who knew an asshole could make me want to rip his clothes off and be so violent at the same time, but I don't. Something is off and I can't put my finger on it. Two more beers appear in front of us and I can't start drinking mine fast enough.

"Don't do that." He says, leaning forward. Persuasion is definitely his strong suit. Scratch that, more like dominance in intimidation.

"Do what?"

"That. You've been doing it all night and it's driving me crazy."

I realize as soon as I do it again that he's talking about the insatiable need I have to lick my lips. I've been doing it since I started drinking tonight. Another sip and I lick my lips again. I told him I don't take direction well. His eyes drop down to my mouth.

Oh, yes. He knows it. I know it. This is happening tonight and it's going to be amazing. Just looking at him, I can tell. But there's still something strange. And now, as he slides his hand across my hip and onto the small of my back, I feel myself freeze. The warmth that was flowing through my body is now concentrated underneath my belly and I can't move.

He's so close to me, I can smell the alcohol on his mouth. Or maybe that's me. I tell myself to inch forward, but nothing happens. So much for closing the deal. It's all gone. My confidence, melted completely down and out of my body. Evaporated through my pores and never coming back.

He leans forward and I close my eyes.

Chicken shit.

It's suddenly quiet in here, not a sound can be heard from anyone. Not even the jukebox is playing. Time has stood still, like it's some fucking storybook fantasy and I'm sitting in the middle of a dewy glen waiting for Prince (not so) Charming to kiss me. Completely silent except for the long breath he just let out.

"I have to go." He says pulling away from me.

What.
The.
Hell.

I open my eyes to see him walking out the door. So this is what holding your last breath under water feels like.

Well fuck that.

I hop off the bar stool and run outside after him. "Are you kidding?" I say once I see him in the parking lot. He looks bewildered, his eyebrows drawn in the center but then he softens and waits for me to reach him.

"What was that?" I shout, my confidence returning in full.

"That was me leaving." He says.

I don't understand. The Ass is clearly back, but why lead me on like that? Oh, no. Nonono. I do the leading, not him. "You don't leave like that. You either kiss me or you don't but you don't do that."

He smirks and I want to kill him. "Who said I was going to kiss you?"
My heart is thumping louder and louder in my chest. And I feel stupid. So, so stupid.

Why can't I take control of this situation? It's not like me and I don't like it. I knew something was off, but I'm still unsure as to what that something is. This was supposed to be easy, really easy. I was supposed to lock him in, keep in on my roster for weeks... months....

"What I want," he slides his hand behind my neck, "is a lot more than that."

Oh.

He pulls me into him, our noses barely touching. Craning his neck lower to reach me, he doesn't break his stare. The overwhelming smell of car oil and laundry detergent fills the space around us. He turns and pins me against the side of a car, tangling his fingers between the hair at the base of my neck.

Nate kisses me deep, his tongue pressing against mine, and I'm gone. Gone to a place I've never been. Welcoming feelings I've never felt. The scruff on his face scrapes me lightly, but feels rugged and rough against my skin. I push against him, desperation clawing at my insides. I want more and he knows it. He tugs on my hair, pulling my head back but his lips never leave mine.

I need to take a break and breathe, but I don't want to. I don't ever want this to end. What's air when you can have this? My heart stops when he pulls away slowly, leading my lips on as he grazes his against mine.

"I really have to go." He says in-between breaths but I don't hear him. Not really. I'm still lost. He kisses me again, softer this time. But when I bite the bottom of his lip in a desperate attempt to keep him here, he presses me harder against the car and kisses me with more intensity than before.

I'm losing myself, letting the reckless feeling of greed take over and match the hunger that he's unleashed on me.

"Fuck." He says into my mouth, letting me go.

I keep my weight on the car because I honestly don't know if I can stand up straight without it. My entire body is shaking and all I want to do is reach out and pull him back into me.

"Riley..." He waits for me to say something but I can't. We stare at each other for what feels like eternity then he kisses me again, and leaves.