Status: Active
Break on Me
Paperwork
CHAPTER 3
THIRD PERSON
He expected her to sob, he expected her to scream, he expected her to do anything except for slap him. Which she did. Repeatedly. Until chibbs stopped laughing and finally pulled her off of him.
“THIS is what my brother is abandoning his family for,” she said gesturing in between the man on the ground and Jax, “This shit?!” Her face was a bright red and Jax could have sworn that her blue eyes turned straight into a thunderstorm. It was almost mesmerizing. Until she hit him once again, but this time in the chest.
“Calm down, what the fuck are you doing!” Jax said now getting angry, and grabbing her wrist forcing her to stop. Her family shit was her family’s business it had nothing to do with the club.
“Calm down?! Are you serious? While I’m at home praying for Luke, administering chemo, and cleaning up vomit, and paying medical bills THIS is what Kip is doing. I cannot fucking believe for one second I believed you guys were actually in a motorcycle club. This is fantastic I have one brother locked up in a hospital and now the other one is going to end up locked in a jail.” She was panting now as she ripped her hands from his tight grasp, a vein in her neck appearing way larger than it had two minutes prior.
Jax chuckled, and thought to himself to make her mad more often because she was pretty hot like this. He felt a tinge of guilt when he heard her take a deep breath in and heard the shakeyness of the breath, but then she turned around and started yelling again.
“Darlin, I hate to interrupt this but we are just a motorcycle club. See that guy over there just needed-“before he could even finish the joke that was just about to roll off his tongue she put her hand up.
“Don’t- I am sorry that you find my shit show of a life hysterical and one big joke. I actually thought you could be a nice guy. I was wrong. I’m glad you and kip are in whatever this shit is together. Dead-beats deserve each other.” Staring straight into his eyes void of any emotion, she grabbed her guitar off the ground and walked out of the door.
Jax’s heart was beating heavy against his chest. Something that he has thought about himself since he found out he was having a kid was just said out loud and he couldn’t even be mad about it because it was true.
“Hey kid don’t listen to her that’s just pussy talk. Lets go back to the club house juice brought some of those strippers back from the party in Nevada.” Bobby said grabbing Jax’s shoulder.
Jax just shook off his hand, “nah I think I’m going to go see the kid.”
“Alright brother, we’ll see you in church.” Chibbs and bobby walked out leaving Jax with his own thoughts as he mounted his bike.
Realizing that it was way past visiting hours Jax drove straight to an old storage locker that his mother had been nagging him to visit ever since finding out Wendy was pregnant. He opened up the locker and memories filled the space. He started with the closest box and opened it to find countless hats and blankets all covered with the same design- the Reaper. He laughed and put the box aside.
A few hours passed as Jax went through each box until he found an old beat up evelop, with the words “Original. 3-15-1993” Scribbled on top. Tearing open the small package he found a stack of papers held together by an elastic. Reading the title of the manifesto, Jax’s heart stopped.
“ The life and Death of Sam Crow.
How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way.
By John Thomas Teller,”
was written on the front. He wondered why he never came across something like this before, or why no one had ever mentioned it.
Skimming through the first few pages Jax realized it was not meant to be found by anyone else, and that this book could either destroy what has been building up inside of him or finally bring to life all of the confusing thoughts that have riddled his brain since Opie had gone away.
The stress of the past month finally caught up to Jax as he slammed the stack of papers onto the ground. First his kid, then Tara coming back, Ope getting out and all of his shit with Donna, then their warehouse getting torched, and the ATF on their backs. Jax could barely breathe. There was a time when the club was about something else, now they were all lost.
Carefully grabbing the papers off of the ground he hid them as best he could inside of his cut and drove to the clubhouse, knowing he needed some rest if he was going to see the kid in the morning before any club shit went down.
He drove away down the road and couldn’t knock the guilt out of his chest for what had happened earlier in the day with Lilah, that pilled with all the rest of the shit was not going to make for an easy nights sleep.
Lilah tossed and turned all night, not knowing what to do with the information she learned tonight about her brother Kip.
She was breaking. She had been strong through the first time her brother was sick, and then through kip getting deployed and coming back a different person, and then her parents died. She was the stronger one of the two twins even for that moment. But now sitting alone in the empty bed she felt like the world was closing in on her.
She tried to be strong, she wanted and needed to be strong but every breath she took was a fight and a battle she was scared she would eventually lose.
She needed to do something about this, so as soon as it was light out she grabbed her keys and headed over to TM Motors.
She knew this was a bad idea, but she needed to take control of any aspect of her life that she was able to.
Jax fumbled around in the dark trying to find his boxers. He rolled over the woman who he was almost positive had a name along the lines of Jen, and found them.
Pulling on the rest of his clothes he left the room and made his way outside. Visiting hours started in 20 minutes and today he needed to be there for as long as he could. Lilah’s words hit him hard, and although he knew he didn’t need to prove anything to her he needed it for himself.
He turned his head towards the gate and saw a familiar car coming into the lot.
His first instinct was the roll his eyes, but as soon as she got out of the car and the sun hit her face the instinct went away. Her face was worn and tired, but yet still beautiful.
“Need another tune up?” Jax asked the blond who was now standing infront of him.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he quciky shut her down. “Listen I don’t know what hell bent argument you’re about to start right now, but I have shit to do and somewhere to be so can it please wait?” his tone was aggressive but almost pleading.
To his surprise her eyes got soft, “I just came to apologize. I need to talk to you, but if you have to be somewhere can we just talk later today?” noticing the change of tone in her voice his exterior softened, “I can do 5 minutes.”
She nodded her head and started fiddling with her hands, “I need your help…” she started, his gaze fell upon her features and he noticed that she looked even more tired close up. “I need to understand this…” she motioned over her shoulder towards the shop, “and please don’t give me any bullshit excuse like you’re all just mechanics. I have lived here for 6 years and there’s always talk. I chose to ignore it but now my brothers involved and I just need to know that he is okay with you guys. I need to know that I don’t have to worry about him and I can put my energy into Luke.” She now had a mist covering her blue eyes. He was surprised to see not one tear fall.
Even her eyes were stubborn.
She paused and waited for him to speak,
“What we do isn’t open to be told. But I can assure you that your brother is where he wants to be, and that every day we find him breaking another wall down that he has built up. He’s a good kid, and has been a wreck since you came by. He knows what the right thing to do is, but he isn’t strong enough yet to act on it. Sometimes even when someone is wrong you still have to do the right thing to show them how to do it. The Sons are tough, but when it comes down to it anything good that comes into our lives, we feel that we don’t deserve it and push it away.”
For the first time since meeting Jax there was no other motive hiding behind his clear blue eyes just raw honesty. She didn’t get the answer she was looking for, but could live with the one she got. Her heart felt heavy with the last part of his statement, but with the way he looked at the ground she felt as though that part wasn’t supposed to come out.
“Okay I can respect that. Thank you Jax, honestly. Is there anything that I can do to get closer to him or to try to show him that I care. Luke told me I have to let him be him, and I think I am finally willing to accept that. I just want my family back.” She sighed.
He knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this without bringing it up with Gemma or Clay, but he did act like a complete ass almost every time he was around the girl.
“How good are you with paperwork?” Jax asked.
THIRD PERSON
He expected her to sob, he expected her to scream, he expected her to do anything except for slap him. Which she did. Repeatedly. Until chibbs stopped laughing and finally pulled her off of him.
“THIS is what my brother is abandoning his family for,” she said gesturing in between the man on the ground and Jax, “This shit?!” Her face was a bright red and Jax could have sworn that her blue eyes turned straight into a thunderstorm. It was almost mesmerizing. Until she hit him once again, but this time in the chest.
“Calm down, what the fuck are you doing!” Jax said now getting angry, and grabbing her wrist forcing her to stop. Her family shit was her family’s business it had nothing to do with the club.
“Calm down?! Are you serious? While I’m at home praying for Luke, administering chemo, and cleaning up vomit, and paying medical bills THIS is what Kip is doing. I cannot fucking believe for one second I believed you guys were actually in a motorcycle club. This is fantastic I have one brother locked up in a hospital and now the other one is going to end up locked in a jail.” She was panting now as she ripped her hands from his tight grasp, a vein in her neck appearing way larger than it had two minutes prior.
Jax chuckled, and thought to himself to make her mad more often because she was pretty hot like this. He felt a tinge of guilt when he heard her take a deep breath in and heard the shakeyness of the breath, but then she turned around and started yelling again.
“Darlin, I hate to interrupt this but we are just a motorcycle club. See that guy over there just needed-“before he could even finish the joke that was just about to roll off his tongue she put her hand up.
“Don’t- I am sorry that you find my shit show of a life hysterical and one big joke. I actually thought you could be a nice guy. I was wrong. I’m glad you and kip are in whatever this shit is together. Dead-beats deserve each other.” Staring straight into his eyes void of any emotion, she grabbed her guitar off the ground and walked out of the door.
Jax’s heart was beating heavy against his chest. Something that he has thought about himself since he found out he was having a kid was just said out loud and he couldn’t even be mad about it because it was true.
“Hey kid don’t listen to her that’s just pussy talk. Lets go back to the club house juice brought some of those strippers back from the party in Nevada.” Bobby said grabbing Jax’s shoulder.
Jax just shook off his hand, “nah I think I’m going to go see the kid.”
“Alright brother, we’ll see you in church.” Chibbs and bobby walked out leaving Jax with his own thoughts as he mounted his bike.
Realizing that it was way past visiting hours Jax drove straight to an old storage locker that his mother had been nagging him to visit ever since finding out Wendy was pregnant. He opened up the locker and memories filled the space. He started with the closest box and opened it to find countless hats and blankets all covered with the same design- the Reaper. He laughed and put the box aside.
A few hours passed as Jax went through each box until he found an old beat up evelop, with the words “Original. 3-15-1993” Scribbled on top. Tearing open the small package he found a stack of papers held together by an elastic. Reading the title of the manifesto, Jax’s heart stopped.
“ The life and Death of Sam Crow.
How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way.
By John Thomas Teller,”
was written on the front. He wondered why he never came across something like this before, or why no one had ever mentioned it.
Skimming through the first few pages Jax realized it was not meant to be found by anyone else, and that this book could either destroy what has been building up inside of him or finally bring to life all of the confusing thoughts that have riddled his brain since Opie had gone away.
The stress of the past month finally caught up to Jax as he slammed the stack of papers onto the ground. First his kid, then Tara coming back, Ope getting out and all of his shit with Donna, then their warehouse getting torched, and the ATF on their backs. Jax could barely breathe. There was a time when the club was about something else, now they were all lost.
Carefully grabbing the papers off of the ground he hid them as best he could inside of his cut and drove to the clubhouse, knowing he needed some rest if he was going to see the kid in the morning before any club shit went down.
He drove away down the road and couldn’t knock the guilt out of his chest for what had happened earlier in the day with Lilah, that pilled with all the rest of the shit was not going to make for an easy nights sleep.
Lilah tossed and turned all night, not knowing what to do with the information she learned tonight about her brother Kip.
She was breaking. She had been strong through the first time her brother was sick, and then through kip getting deployed and coming back a different person, and then her parents died. She was the stronger one of the two twins even for that moment. But now sitting alone in the empty bed she felt like the world was closing in on her.
She tried to be strong, she wanted and needed to be strong but every breath she took was a fight and a battle she was scared she would eventually lose.
She needed to do something about this, so as soon as it was light out she grabbed her keys and headed over to TM Motors.
She knew this was a bad idea, but she needed to take control of any aspect of her life that she was able to.
Jax fumbled around in the dark trying to find his boxers. He rolled over the woman who he was almost positive had a name along the lines of Jen, and found them.
Pulling on the rest of his clothes he left the room and made his way outside. Visiting hours started in 20 minutes and today he needed to be there for as long as he could. Lilah’s words hit him hard, and although he knew he didn’t need to prove anything to her he needed it for himself.
He turned his head towards the gate and saw a familiar car coming into the lot.
His first instinct was the roll his eyes, but as soon as she got out of the car and the sun hit her face the instinct went away. Her face was worn and tired, but yet still beautiful.
“Need another tune up?” Jax asked the blond who was now standing infront of him.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he quciky shut her down. “Listen I don’t know what hell bent argument you’re about to start right now, but I have shit to do and somewhere to be so can it please wait?” his tone was aggressive but almost pleading.
To his surprise her eyes got soft, “I just came to apologize. I need to talk to you, but if you have to be somewhere can we just talk later today?” noticing the change of tone in her voice his exterior softened, “I can do 5 minutes.”
She nodded her head and started fiddling with her hands, “I need your help…” she started, his gaze fell upon her features and he noticed that she looked even more tired close up. “I need to understand this…” she motioned over her shoulder towards the shop, “and please don’t give me any bullshit excuse like you’re all just mechanics. I have lived here for 6 years and there’s always talk. I chose to ignore it but now my brothers involved and I just need to know that he is okay with you guys. I need to know that I don’t have to worry about him and I can put my energy into Luke.” She now had a mist covering her blue eyes. He was surprised to see not one tear fall.
Even her eyes were stubborn.
She paused and waited for him to speak,
“What we do isn’t open to be told. But I can assure you that your brother is where he wants to be, and that every day we find him breaking another wall down that he has built up. He’s a good kid, and has been a wreck since you came by. He knows what the right thing to do is, but he isn’t strong enough yet to act on it. Sometimes even when someone is wrong you still have to do the right thing to show them how to do it. The Sons are tough, but when it comes down to it anything good that comes into our lives, we feel that we don’t deserve it and push it away.”
For the first time since meeting Jax there was no other motive hiding behind his clear blue eyes just raw honesty. She didn’t get the answer she was looking for, but could live with the one she got. Her heart felt heavy with the last part of his statement, but with the way he looked at the ground she felt as though that part wasn’t supposed to come out.
“Okay I can respect that. Thank you Jax, honestly. Is there anything that I can do to get closer to him or to try to show him that I care. Luke told me I have to let him be him, and I think I am finally willing to accept that. I just want my family back.” She sighed.
He knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this without bringing it up with Gemma or Clay, but he did act like a complete ass almost every time he was around the girl.
“How good are you with paperwork?” Jax asked.