Coffee and Love

I was fast asleep when my phone rang. I rubbed my eyes. It was Caleb. Something was wrong for him to be calling me at one in the morning.

“Hello?” I said.

“I-I gotta talk to you. Like right now. Can I come over?”

I sat up, frowning. “Yeah. Mom is out with her friends. Caleb, what’s wrong?”

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

He hung up and I called my mom quickly.

“Hey Mirela! I’m still at the casino!” she said over the noises.

“Yeah, I know. I need you to stay there until I call you, okay?”

“Hold on, Heather. Mirela, what’s wrong?”

“Something’s got Caleb seriously upset. He’s on his way now. I’ll call you when I find out what it is.”

“Okay,” she said and I knew she was frowning. “Let me know.”

“I will. Love you.”

I hung up just as Caleb knocked on my front door. I pulled on a hoodie and zipped it up. I opened the door and he came running in, pale as a sheet and shaking.

“Caleb, what’s wrong?” I asked but he just paced in my living room. I was starting to get scared. “Caleb, talk to me.”

He looked at me with desperate eyes. “You were right,” he choked. “Oh, God, Mirela you were right!”

“About what?” I asked.

He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. I sat down beside him timidly and put my hand on his back. He didn’t answer for a while and he was still shaking. I moved closer and put my head on his shoulder, waiting patiently.

“Sh-She stayed behind,” he whispered and I closed my eyes. Please no. “I- I was editing a family shoot. We’ve been backed up because we’re getting busy, you know? I- She came in and- and kept asking me about you and why you weren’t there. I tried to tell her no. God, I tried so hard, Mirela,” he sobbed. “She took her shirt off and- and made me-”

“You slept with her, didn’t you?” I whispered and his head shot up.

“No!” he yelled. “No, I didn’t! She wouldn’t take no for an answer,” he said, taking my hands and holding them tightly. “God I didn’t know what else to do! I- I got my webcam up while she was- was trying to- Luther answered and he saw everything. I didn’t know what else to do!”

I sighed, relieved and pressed my lips to his.

“Calm down,” I whispered. “Please calm down, Caleb.”

“But- I betrayed you!”

“No you didn’t,” I said. “You didn’t sleep with her.”

“But I wanted to!” he groaned. “Not with her, though. With you. And then she-”

I kissed him again, finally crying. “This is my fault,” I whispered, shutting my eyes tightly.

“How the fuck is it your fault?” he demanded.

“If I wasn’t so… scared then you wouldn’t be tempted,” I whispered. I sighed. “Caleb, if being with me is causing you too much pain, I understand. We- We can be friends.”

“Open your eyes,” he whispered and I did. He caressed my cheek, still crying. “I don’t want to break up with you. I came because I feel so guilty!”

“But if I would just get over my insecurities and sleep with you-”

“Mirela, the fact that you’re not throwing yourself on me makes me love you even more,” he said softly then groaned. “Ah shit. That’s- This isn’t how I wanted to- Fuck. This is a hot mess.” He shook his head. “Look, the point is I should have told you sooner. She’s been making advances all month but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should tell you or ride it out. I should’ve told you.”

I wrapped my arms around him and put my head on his chest.

“Do you need me, Caleb?” I whispered.

“What?” he breathed.

“I know that… that sometimes it hurts and-”

He sighed and held me tightly. “I want you so badly,” he said, “but no. It’s not like that. You’re concerned she aroused me?” I nodded and felt him shake his head. “No. If anything, she disgusted me. I couldn’t believe she’d do that, knowing how I feel about you.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about, Caleb,” I promised.

“You don’t, either,” he said.

“But you’ve had sex so many times and I’m not sleeping with you,” I mumbled.

He kissed the top of my head. “When… when I was sleeping around, I taught a lot of girls how to do it. Now I’m the student,” he whispered, “and you’re the teacher. You’re teaching me how to control that part of me and I’m sorry I haven’t told you. But I have one important question that you need to answer right now.”

“I will.”

“Do you hate me?”

I looked up at him and wiped his tears away. “No.”

“You promise?”

I laughed a little. “I promise. I hate Jenny, though, and I better not see her or I’ll kick her ass.”

He chuckled and kissed me. “Look, I’ll be blunt: I want to have sex with you but I don’t want to do it if you’re uncomfortable.”

“You’ve changed,” I whispered, putting my head back on his shoulder.

“And it’s all because of you,” he whispered back.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“No, I should go back to the apartment and talk to Luther. He’s furious.”

I walked him to the door and he kissed me deeply.

“We’re perfectly normal,” I said and he smiled. “Next time, though, let me know if a woman is doing that, please.”

He nodded vigorously. “I will. I swear.”

“Drive safe.”

He pulled me into a hug. “Thank you for not being mad at me.”

“It’s not your fault,” I repeated. “I am a little upset you didn’t tell me right away but now you know.”

“Good night.”

I smiled and shut the door after him. I went back to my room and sobbed into my hands. My phone buzzed with a text from my mom.

Safe to come home?

Yeah

I was still crying when she got home and she rushed to my room.

“What happened?” she breathed, sitting beside me on my bed. I told her. “Oh, sweetheart. What did he do?”

I gulped. “He rejected her but she wouldn’t stop so he got Luther on the webcam.”

“So he didn’t sleep with her?” she asked and I shook my head. “Wow.”

I wiped my nose. “He was so worried, Ma. He thought I was going to break up with him. In his mind, he had told himself he cheated on me.”

“Are you mad at him?”

“I’m a little upset he didn’t tell me she’s been making advances for a month but he promised he’d tell me next time.” I laughed. “I know there will be a next time.”

I sighed and leaned into her.

“There’s something else,” I whispered.

“What?”

“I think he said he loves me.”

She didn’t say anything for a minute. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know,” I muttered. “I was apologizing for not sleeping with him and he said that the fact I don’t just makes him love me more. Then he panicked.”

She kissed the top of my head.

“What do I do now, Ma?” I asked, crying.

“What do you mean?”

“He told me how bad he wants me and if he really does love me….”

“You’re not obligated to sleep with him just because he loves you,” she told me. I nodded. “Just be normal around him, okay? When’s your next day off?”

“Friday but I was… I was thinking about taking tomorrow off to…. Before all of this happened,” I added.

“So, go into the studio in the morning and be normal,” she said simply and I sat up straight.

“I have an idea,” I breathed.