Polaroids

Tears rolled down my cheeks as the door slammed behind him. him, the person I called my boyfriend. The father of my child.
Jared was sweet when I first met him and things were amazing, but then Ella came along and things changed. He would be out all night, come back stinking of booze and most of the day.
When he was home and conscious, we fought a lot and he got physical.
Often I would find a plate, or cup flying at my head.

I stayed with him because of Ella, and I secretly hoped he would change but I knew that I was hanging on to hopes that would never happen. The cries of my daughter were what pulled me to my feet, I ignored the sharp pain in my cheek and shuffled to her room, lifting her from her crib and kissed her head, gently swaying her to soothe her distressed cries. It was unfair of me to keep her in this kind of environment, what kind of mother am I? But every little girl needs her daddy, not that he ever spent any time with her, would she be better off without him? I just didn’t know what to do; my head was a mess.

I sat on the rocking chair, thoughts flying everywhere. It was fight or flight. I could either stay, fight and make this relationship try to work. Or I could pack up our things and get out of here. But where would I go? My family would not talk to me because I chose to stay with Jared when he first attacked me.

Letting out a soft groan and clutched my babygirl closer to my chest. I have spent 8 months being treated like a bit of dirt on the floor, constantly been talked down to. How much more would I be able to take? Would Ella hate me when she grew up if I took her away from her dad?
If I was to leave, I would want to get as far away from here as I possibly could. Over seas if possible. There was only one person I knew I could call...but would she be willing to help?

Ella fell asleep pretty quickly so I lay her back in her crib and looked at her for a moment, stroking her little pink cheek gently. “Mommy loves you, babygirl.” I whispered “And that’s why I have to get us out of here.”

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the contacts until I found her name and clicked on it, unsure if she would even be awake because of the time difference. My mind raced, suddenly I got chills, my heart was thumping in my chest but I told myself to pull it together. It was now or never.

“Katie? Hey.” She answered.

“Jenna, hey...I need help.” I just about managed to choke back the tears that had been building.
I had to do this.