So Could You, Tell Me How You're Sleeping Easy

I sit down on the bed in front of him, his eyes are bloodshot. He looks so sad. He has this one hurt filled tear strolling down his face. He looks at me with so much sadness. I couldn't help but look down at my hands. I feel his gaze on me still. How could I break such a happy soul?

"How could you?" is all he manage to say to me, "Why?"

I couldn't answer. I just got up. I just broke Cody Carson's heart. I used Zach DeWall to do it.

Three Years Later.

My phone rings. It makes me jump. My favorite song is playing, I don't really want to answer I more just want to listen. I give up about half way through the song and I pick it up. I don't bother to check the number or anything.

"Hello?" I ask.
"Hey Elizabeth, it's Cody," The voice spoke.
I froze a bit, "Uh, hey. What's up man?"
"Set It Off is playing in Orlando tonight," Cody says softly.
"And?" I egg on.
"Do you still sing?" He asks.
"Yeah, I do. Why?" I say softly.
"Do you want to sing with me on stage tonight?"
There it is, "Ummm, which song?"
"Have you listen to Miss Mysterious?"
"Yeah, I have."
"Well?"
"Yes."
"Cool, I assume you are still in the same apartment."
"Yeah."
"I'll send someone with the backstage pass."
"Cool."

I hang up. What did I agree to? I look at the time 5pm. I need to get ready. I throw myself together. I put on a nice skirt that has a split to my knee with my boots that are folded half down. I throw on my Wayne's World t-shirt. I straighten all my faux hawk. I put my extensions in. I comb my faux hawk back. I stare at my roots. I just start to do my make up with a sigh. I get almost done and I heard a knock on my door. I groan as I finish, which I look good for once. I walk over to the door. I open it. There stood Cody, holding a backstage pass. I take it from him.

“Hello," is all I managed.
"Hey Elizabeth," Cody says, "You ready to go?"
"Let me grab my purse then we can go."
"Alright."
"Come on in."

I walk off and look for my purse. I know where it is, but I am stalling. I get it and make sure it's filled with my essentials. I check my cigarette box. I'm down to two, which will be gone by tonight. Also I check my lighter, half ass little flames that barely stay. I walk into the living room where Cody is sitting on the couch. I clear my throat to get his attention as I look at him.

"Ready?"
"Yes sir."
Cody stands up, "You looking amazing."
"Yeah, I guess, thanks."

We walk out and I lock up my apartment. We walked to the venue, completely forgot I like like ten minutes from it. I told him that we needed to run to the convenient store down a block. He mumbles out an okay as we walk pass the venue, at least doors had opened and the kids were going inside. No one noticed that the singer for the head liner walked by. We get there and I walk up to the counter, asking for my usual smokes and a lighter. The worker gets me both and I pay for them. I know this confused Cody. I didn't smoke when we went out. We leave and walk back the block. We go in the side entrance. I show them my back stage pass. They let me in. Cody grabs my wrist as we walk back to the green room.

"ELIZABETH!!!" Maxx cheered.
I smile as I walk to him, releasing myself from Cody's hold, "Maxxy!"
"How've you been?" Maxx asks.
"Where is Dan and Zach?" Cody asks.
"They went to get food, they'll be back in time." Maxx answers.
"Alright," Cody says as he sits on the couch.
"I'm good, Maxx. How have you been?" I ask Maxx.
"I've been pretty damn swell." Maxx answers. I just laugh.

Maxx and I engage in small talk. Soon Zach and Dan come back. I caught up with them. Zach and I walked off and whispered about what happened and how you can feel anger radiating off of Cody. We came back and sat down on opposite ends. After a while the guys had to go on stage. Soon it was time for Miss Mysterious. I come out on stage slowly as I start to sing. I was nervous. Cody and I finish the song and he made the fans cheer for me. Once I was off stage, I went outside with my purse. I get my lighter and my cigarette. I pull one out and light it up just barely. I stood out there till my last two cigarettes were gone. I spent that whole time holding my hand close the fire, feeling my hand grow in warmth. By the time my cigarettes are done my lighter is done also. I toss the butt like always and then I toss the lighter away in the trash. I felt an arm on me. I freak out. I then look at the face and realize that it was Cody. He was covered in sweat. I look at him.

"What?" I say.
"We are having a tiny party back at my house, do you want to come? The guys are probably going split to their houses after a bit," Cody asks.
"So you and all the other members of the bands?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah, it'll be kick ass." Cody says with a chuckle.
"Sure, why the hell not," I say as I ruffle my hair back.
"Awesome!"

I just shake my head and laugh. We walk back to the bus. I hadn’t been to Cody’s since that night. I know probably countless amount of one night stands probably a relationship or two has gone through that house since I left it. It was hard to know that you are so in love with a person and one drunk night could ruin the whole thing. Wait…did I say in love? I am not in love with Cody anymore. It’s been way to long, he’s changed a lot. The other guys were there, Maxx’s girlfriend, she hasn't changed. Dan and his girlfriend and little all alone Zach. I mean him and Cody, should consider hooking up since Cody really has gay moments. The bus starts moving. All I wanted was to be off the bus to have a cigarette. Cody was talking to the guys. He would smile and he would bite down on lip ring when other guys were talking. I noticed that Maxx and Dan’s girls were talking. I know they were probably mumbling about me.

“When did you start smoking?” Maxx asks, making everyone look at me. I am going to kill him.
“Uh…like three years ago. Why does it matter?” I mumble.

We finally get to Cody’s place. I forgot how nice it was. We all got off and got inside his house. Cody spent the first few minutes petting Daisy and Odie. I just smiled as I stepped out to his back yard. I packed my new cigarettes then I open them. I also opened my light. I put the tip of a cigarette in my mouth. This was all a bad idea. I should had said no. God damn, I am so stupid. I lit up my cigarette as I tossed my lighter into my purse. I took a couple of drags before Zach comes outside.


“You started cause you and Cody broke up,” Zach says as he stands next to me.
“Yeah, I mean, he was my everything. I needed to cope someway,” I answer as I flick the ashes.
“Nah, it’s cool. We just had a stupid drunk night,” Zach says.
“Cody said that drunken actions are sober thoughts,” I say.
“Right, cause I wanted to kiss you and fuck you in the closet,” Zach says with a small laugh.
“Did you?” I ask.
“No, I respect my friends relationships. What…” Zach starts.
“ZACH?!” We both hear come from the inside.
“I’ll be back,” Zach mumbles.
“Maybe,” I say.

Zach just nods as he walks in. I finish my cigarette and put it out. I just flicked it into the flower pot. I didn’t know where to put. I turn to see Cody holding two beers. He offers one out to me. I take it with a small sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Cody asks.
“I shouldn’t had come out tonight. I should had told you no,” I answer.
“I’m glad you did though…because I just wanted you know that I forgive you,” Cody says.
“You forgive me? For what? Cheating on you three years ago?” I stumble out.
“Yeah, I never forgave you. About a year later I forgave you, but you ran away to Wales that summer and I had tour,” He says.
“Well, I am so sorry that it finally took you two years later to finally say something,” I groan as i hand Cody the beer back, “I am going to go.”
“Wait, please…” Cody starts.
I cut him off, “No fuck you Cody Carson.” I walk back into the house and said good bye to the others guys before I walked out the front door.

I had tears in my eyes. I took out my phone and called a taxi place. I gave them the address and I just sit down on the curb. Cody didn’t even try to come get me, ass. The taxi finally gets there. I told my address. I bite the inside of my lip really hard, it stings a little because last month I got my tattoo touched up. We get to my address. I pull out my money and pay him. I walk back to my apartment. I unlock the door. I look in the mirror by my door. I pull down my lip to make sure nothing ran. It looks fine. I read “Shitbastard” written on my lip. It looked fine. I let go of my lip as I walk to my bedroom. I tossed off my boots and undid my bra. I toss my bra to the side. I slide off my shirt and just crawl into bed. I lay there and my phone goes off. I groan as I look at the text message. Cody. What more distress did he want to cause? I mumble as I read it.

I am sorry that you fucked up our relationship then you made me the bad guy. I feel like a complete ass and obviously can’t make this up to you. When you want to not be a huge fucking bitch, I just like fucking love you and you love me but won’t admit it.

Cody had be drinking, this is just the alcohol talking he didn’t mean any of this, however I am surprised at how well this is composed…did he actually drink anything? He had two beers in his hands and a bit of a drinking problem from time to time, I know he had to drink those. I hate him so much. I pressed the typing area and composed my message back.

Cody, you are drunk. You don’t mean this. Go to bed.

I hit send then turned off my phone. I didn’t want to know Cody’s response honestly. I do love him, and I won’t admit it to him. He’d have a fucking field day over it. I hate how he makes me feel. I put my phone on my bedside table. I close my eyes, slowly falling asleep. I hate Cody so much. I hate how he makes me feel. This is so unfair. Fucking shit fucking Cody fucking Carson dammit.

*******************
Waking up in my bed, feeling super sad and angry at myself. I can’t believe that I went to Cody’s last night. I can’t believe he still has my number. I can’t believe he still loves me. I turn my phone back, mostly to check the time. When the phone turns on it dings at least 20 times, it seemed like. I had one message from Maxx, two from Zach, and at least five or six from Cody. He’s so fucking stubborn, I forgot that about him.

From: Maxx
Had fun hanging out with you. I missed it. c:

From: Zachary
Yeah, Cody is pissed at me.

From: Zachary
You wanted to sabotage your relationship with Cody because you’ve always pushed people away when things get too serious.

I read Zach’s message at least five times before I realized he was right. I am just a douchebag who would rather be lonely and miserable. I brace myself for Cody’s messages.

From: Why The Hell Do I Still Have Your Number
Fuck you! I was happy for once in my life. I knew it was too good to be true.

From: Why The Hell Do I Still Have Your Number
You know what? I don’t need you. I am going to have pointless sex, because I don’t want to love you.

From: Why The Hell Do I Still Have Your Number
You know what? No. I love you and I want you to know that.

This last one from Nine this morning.

From: Why The Hell Do I Still Have Your Number
I apologize for these messages and you have every right to hate me. I do love you though. I started loving you again when I was remembering everything good about our relationship.

Cody wasn’t drunk. He was sober and telling me that he loved me. I sigh quietly as I start my replies.

To: Maxx
Maybe after tour we’ll hang out, yeah?

To: Zachary
I am sorry Cody is pissed at you. Talk him though. You are right, I do push people away when it gets too serious. I am scared of committing.

I stared at Cody’s messages and decide to change his contact name back to Cody.

To: Cody
I don’t know if you left back for tour yet. I can’t recall if you said you had today off. Do you want to get some coffee so we can talk?

Something tells me I am going to regret this.

***************

It’s been about a week after everything with Cody. We weren’t able to get coffee. We haven’t spoken since. I’ve talked to all the other guy every day. I took a week off from work after the night with Cody. 9 to 5 pretty much suck. I am jealous of Cody in fact that he works about one hour a day and he gets to travel doing what he loves. I work as a secretary at a psychology office. I like psychology, but I love music. I consider quitting and pursue my music career.
The whole I was dating Cody, he’d encourage me to quit and work on music. I told him it wasn’t that simple. Cody always say that he could support us till I take off and make a name for myself. I am glad I didn’t quit. I’d be broke and miserable.
I walk out of the office after saying good bye to my boss. We’re pretty good friends. I walk out to the parking lot and I get in my car. I drive myself home. I get home and sit down on my couch. I take out my one and see that I have a text message.

From: Cody
Hey, tour is ending soon. I would like to speak to you and finally get that cup of coffee.

I sigh as I type my reply.

To: Cody
Okay, yeah, cool alright. sounds great.

This week was dedicated to me and relaxing in my apartment. I get my computer and sit down on the little balcony off of my bedroom. I open my packet of cigarettes. I pull out a lighter. I light up my cigarette, smoking it as I open my laptop. I open up a lyric arsenal document. I look over the lyrics, mumbling to myself. I groan at how shit it is. I know anything I try to write would just be about Cody. I love him to death and I cannot admit it. I start to type these words of how I am feeling.

*******************
Cody is off tour and we are sitting his car after getting our Starbucks. I drink my drink nervously. It’s just silence.

“Are we going to try to make this work?” Cody asks.
“Cody, we need to start again,” I answer.
“But, you know I love you, why pretend we can work as friends?” Cody mutters.
“Just because you love me, does not mean…” I start to say, my voice raising slightly.
“Just fuck it,” Cody mutters again, putting his drink down, and starting the car.

I let out a small sigh. I hate that I did actually love Cody, but I couldn't tell him. He drives me back to my apartment and we sit there for a bit.


“Thanks for the…coffee,” I say quietly.
“Anytime doll,” Cody says.
I shake my empty coffee cup, “I could have sworn I had more. I always regret not getting the bigger cup. However, I feel like I love coffee more than most things. I love coffee more than you that’s for damn sure.”
“Wait…You love me?”
“No… I never said that.”
“But you did…”
“Shag off,” I mutter as I climb out of the car.
I mumble, “Iloveyouidiot.” as I close the door.


I slam the door closed and walked upstairs to my apartment. I open the door and slam it close once I am in my apartment. I sit down on my couch. I pull my phone out, just in time for my apartment bell to buzz. FUCK, who the hell. I get up and press on the talk button.


“Hello?” I say nicely.
“Hey, can I come up?” Cody asks nicely.

“Fine,” I say and buzz him in.


I wait a couple of minutes before I hear him knock. I open the door and he automatically kisses me. I kiss him back with no hesitation. He push the door close then pins me against the door. We make our way to the bedroom. Our lips are still together. Cody pulls away. Cody peels off his shirt to expose his slightly defined stomach. It was so hot. It was just enough muscle for me. I pull off my shirt to expose my lacy bra and my hard nipples. He couldn't help but smile. I take off my bra and slowly slide it off. He watches me with admiration on his face. I press my lips to his, in which he reciprocated, as my hand works on unbuttoning his pants and pulling down the zipper. Cody works on the same thing on my jeans, but however when he gets my jeans undone he slides his hands down. His middle finger on his right hand strokes my semi hard clit, his left hand sliding to hold my ass. He earns a moan from me when he works on my clit. I feel my panties moisten with his actions. God, this was the best foreplay I've had. My hands totally stop what they are doing. Our tongues intertwining. He then uses his ring finger to stroke my clit gently as his middle finger dips down to my cunt, getting moist from my wetness. I feel his lips curl up into a smirk. He pulls his hands out and pulls away from the kiss. He throws me across the bed and quickly pulls my jeans down. I whine with neediness as I kick my jeans to the floor. He starts to pull down his jeans, his bulge obviously noticeable. I lean up on my elbows to watch him. He pulls down my panties to the floor, making me 100% exposed to him. He just smiles at me. I reach over to the bedside table. I pull out a condom. He leans over me and takes it from me. Cody places the top of the wrapper in his mouth as he quickly rips it open. He pulls down his boxers to his ankles and does a weird move, I assume he kicked them off his ankles. I smile at him, he's so adorable. He gets on his knees on the bed and slides on the condom. He doesn't lose eye contact with me as he slides my hands into his. I look up at him as he slides his erection inside of me. I let out a small moan as he slides in. He starts to pick up the pace as he keeps thrusting, eventually going fast and hard. Fuck, I missed this, I missed him. He repeats his actions, our sounds filing up my apartment. I moan loudly and drag my nails down his back. Fucking hell this is great. I eventually release. He releases into the condom. He slowly pulls out and pulls off the condom. He ties it close and tosses it in the waste bin. He lays down next to me. I feel tiredness wash over me. I eventually fall asleep in his arms. Fucking hell, this a mistake, I could tell. However, I do love it. I can’t believe this happened.

*****************************
I wake up and Cody has himself spread across my bed. I rub my eyes and see our clothes in a pile, fuck. I carefully slide out of bed. I pull on a shirt and a clean pair of panties. I walk to the living room. I dig through my purse and grab my cigarettes and lighter. I walk to my balcony. I sit down there and smoke a cigarette. I eventually hear the door open and I look to see Cody sit next to me. He’s got his boxers on. He takes a seat next to me. I realized this is his shirt I’ve got on. I put out my half done cigarette and put in my ash tray.

“I love you,” Cody says quietly into my ear.
“I love you too,” I answer.
“Do you really love me?” Cody asks with big eyes.
“Yes, I really do. I would like to start again,” I answer.
“I would too,” Cody comments.


We share a quick kiss. Cody wrinkles his nose afterwards, and I know why.


“Shut up, yeah I know I taste like cigarette,” I comment.

“Did you ever date anyone after me?” Cody asks quietly.
“Did you?” I counter ask.
“Yeah, like a few months each,” Cody answers.

“No, I didn’t,” I answer.
“Really?” He questions.
“I had a bunch of one night stands but, no one wants to be serious anymore,” I reply.
“My poor baby,” Cody comments and kiss my head, “Let’s go back in and get dressed. I need to get home to my puppies.”

“I miss Daisy and Odie,” I comment.

This is how I fall in love with Cody Carson All Over AGAIN.