Weapons of War

With a 3-1 victory the locker room was loud and guys were making plans for the evening, or at least the young single guys were and Shea was simply sitting in his stall looking around the locker room. He was wondering what it would be like to give this all up, to not come to the rink every day, to not belong to a team, to not have to get on a plane every few days. He wondered if he could really do it, as much as he thought about it some days and as much as he wished he could be there for Riley and Noah Shea just wasn't sure he could do it.

This was what he knew, this was his entire life. His family was everything to him, but hockey was what he had known from the time he was four years old. Riley was right, as much as he didn't want her to be, giving it up would make him hate his life. Could he really put that on Riley? Could he really, knowingly, make her live with the fact that he hated his life because of her and their family, no matter how dramatic that sounded?

“Why are you looking around like you're never coming back here dude?” Pekka asked, nudging Shea as he dropped into the stall beside his. His voice was low, not wanting to alert the rest of the guys who clearly hadn't noticed Shea looking around the arena in near nostalgia.

Shea glanced at the goal tender and smiled, “I'm just glad I'm here.”

Pekka raised his eyebrow and asked, “Are you and Riley fighting again?”

Shea chuckled, “Sometimes, but things are good right now.”

“Stop with the Cheshire routine. You're scaring me.” Pekka stated, and Shea let out another chuckle and captured the attention of most of the rest of the room.

“I think Webs is losing it.” Roman stated, causing the locker room to laugh.

Pekka nodded and told him, “First you stroll in here almost late, and then you didn't even break your stick after that awful penalty in the first that lead to the tying goal, and now you're all weird and smiley and happy. It's weird.”

Shea did have to drag himself out of bed and to the arena on time for the game that night, Noah had crawled into their bed when both Shea and Riley had decided the whole family needed a pre-game nap and he couldn't sleep and Shea had laid in bed awake with them sleeping beside him for much longer than he ever should have, the last thing Shea wanted was to leave the two of them, but he had things he had to do. He was middle of the pack arriving to the arena, which surprised a few of the guys, usually he was the first one there.

Instead of keeping it in any longer Shea smiled and said, “Riley's pregnant.”

There was a round of cheers in the locker room, all except Pekka, who eyed Shea curiously. It wasn't however Pekka who voiced what he was thinking, instead, Mike practically took the words right out of his mouth when he asked, “I thought you guys were waiting until after all this stuff with Noah to have another?”

Shea shrugged and admitted, “This wasn't exactly planned, it kind of just happened and we'll figure it out.”

“Besides I'm sure if it really gets that hard Nealer and Quinn could just take Noah off of your hands.” Roman joked, and James rolled his eyes.

But then he said, “Actually yeah that could totally work, skip right past all the baby stuff.”

“Right into terrible two's.” Shea reminded him and James shrugged and Shea added, “Then again my kid is an angel so...”

Pekka laughed and said, “All parents think their kids are angels.”

Mike shrugged his shoulders and said, “And they are.”

Colin stood up and said, “I'll buy the first round if Shea comes out with us tonight.”

All eyes turned to Shea, who chuckled, shook his head and a round of booing rang through the locker room as he said, “Sorry boys, I'm going home to my wife and my kid.”

Shea arrived home at nearly midnight, he had made a quick stop at a drug store on his way and when he walked into the house carrying a plastic bag he found Riley laying on the floor of the kitchen in a pair of boy shorts and a sports bra. He set the bag on the kitchen counter and she lifted her head off of the floor to look at him for a moment, and taking in his confused and also amused expression she informed him, “It is way too hot in here and I am dying.”

“It's like... 20 degrees in here.” He informed her, walking around the kitchen to grab two spoons before he grabbed the bag from the counter and laid on his stomach beside her on the floor.

“Not when you have a furnace inside you. Seriously I thought round number two would be easier than the first.” Riley stated, raising her eyebrow as he pulled a tub of ice cream from the plastic bag and set it between them. She rolled onto her stomach as he handed her a spoon and pulled the top off.

He told her, “At least you're not as sick as you were the last time.” He said, and she nodded.

“True. But I'm way more tired, and I'm dizzy all the time, and my boobs hurt way more this time.” She stated, listing off all of her symptoms that were different this time around from the first time she was pregnant.

“Yeah I've noticed the last one.” Shea stated, and he grinned when Riley shot him a look. He told her, “I pretty much can't touch you at all right now.”

“Yeah well you and your thing aren't coming near me for a very long time.” She told him and when he laughed she said, “I'm serious. This is twice that you've knocked me up without my knowledge of it beforehand.”

“Ah, but see, it makes life so much more exciting this way.”

She shook her head in amusement, “Yes, because playing Russian Roulette with my uterus is so much fun.”

Shea let out a loud laugh, so much so that he had to put his forehead down against his forearm and his whole body shook. Riley watched him in amusement, and before she knew it his laughter became infectious and she was laughing too. Their laughter got even louder when Shea managed to get out, “Our neighbours must think that we're absolutely insane.”

When their laughter died down Riley looked at him, and then she looked at the ice cream tub and told him, “There's something I wanted to talk to you about actually.”

“Okay... should I be afraid?” He asked her curiously.

She shook her head, “It's not about us or anything.”

“Alright...” He still didn't sound very convinced, or very into whatever Riley had to tell him.

“I think we should revisit the whole Christina thing.” Riley stated, and Shea turned to her in surprise. Before he could say anything however Riley told him, “Hear me out.”

“Okay.”

She bit down on her lip for a moment before she looked over at him and said, “I want them to have the chance to know her, even if it doesn't work out I want to make that effort for our kids you know? If she bails then we just go on with our lives, but I want to make the effort.”

“Is this because you're pregnant again?” Shea asked her curiously, truthfully he didn't really care if they went forward with this Christina thing, because if he was being honest he didn't expect her to show up at all, and even if she did he didn't see her sticking around long. So if this was something Riley wanted to do he could get behind it for her.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Honestly, probably but I still think it's something we should do. Even if it's just having her over to the house for dinner one night. I can handle that for Noah, I don't think it's fair to not let him meet her.”

“Now would be a good time because then if she decides to bail he won't really remember it.” Shea stated with a small smile and Riley chuckled and nodded.

“This is true.”

So he told her, “So call her tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” She told him, and when he raised his eyebrow she explained, “For not fighting me on this, for getting behind me on it. I appreciate it.”

“I get where you're coming from, if I really had a problem with it I would tell you that.” Shea assured her.

With a small, amused smile on her face Riley said, “You just think she's not gonna show.”

He shrugged, “Maybe, do you think she will?”

“I don't know honestly, but I still want to do it.” Riley told him, and then she got up off of the floor and put the ice cream tub in the freezer before she told Shea, “I'm tired, let's go to bed.”

He nodded and followed her upstairs, where she practically dove onto the bed, throwing a sheet over herself and shoving all of the covers onto his side of the bed while he put his suit in the dry cleaning bag. Shea got onto the bed beside her, hanging the covers off of his side of the bed so that she didn't get too hot during the night and he asked her, “You think we're gonna have company tonight?”

Noah had gotten into the habit of asking to crawl in with them at night whenever Shea was home and as much as they both enjoyed the occasional night time snuggle with him they also enjoyed the alone time together, something they didn't get much of during the day. Riley looked at him and told him, “I think we'll be fine tonight, besides I locked the door.”

Shea let out a chuckle, “You locked our kid out?”

Riley shrugged and told him, “We need some quality time together, I did what I had to. If I have to I'll unlock the door for him if he knocks.”

“You are-” She cut him off by kissing him quickly, and then when she pulled back and looked at him, eyebrow raised as if to ask him if he was going to continue to talk. Shea wrapped his arms around her and then he rolled on top of her, before he kissed her again, smiling against her lips as she laid her palms flat on his back. He pulled away from her mouth and told her, “I love you.”

- - -

“Good afternoon my favorite human in the world.” Riley looked over at Quinn as she walked into the kitchen with a big grin on her face.

“What do you want?” Riley joked, and Quinn rolled her eyes. Riley motioned to the duffle bag on Quinn's arm and asked, “What's all that?”

“This would be a bag full of various pieces of clothing. I was actually hoping I could raid your closet for a few things you don't wear anymore, think of it as a donation.” Quinn told her, and when Riley raised her eyebrow she explained, “Taya's in Kentucky right now.”

“She left?” Riley asked her in surprise.

Quinn nodded, “Yeah, she called me bawling last night and I told her to just come here and not to pack anything. She's gonna stay with us for a bit until she figures out what she wants to do.”

“It's not a good thing, but I'm glad that she's leaving.” Riley stated and Quinn nodded, and Riley grabbed the box of ice cream sandwiches from the freezer and lead Quinn up to the bedroom. Riley told her, “Basically anything that looks like it hasn't been worn in a year you can have. Have at it, I'll be over here folding and packing for you since it looks like your closet exploded into this bag.”

“Yeah I kind of just shoved everything in here in a big of a panic.” Quinn told her and she disappeared into the closet. She called out a few seconds later, “So how are things between you and the captain?”

“Good, we're better right now. Things are better.” Riley told her, and when Quinn came back out holding a couple of shirts Riley nodded and held out her hands, folding those into the bag along with Quinn's stuff. Riley then added, “He's staying here for Noah's treatment next week.”

“I'm glad you're letting him do that, as much as I love hanging out with you and little man I think it's a good thing that you're letting him go. It's gonna be good for you guys.” Quinn told her, coming out with another handful of things and dropping onto the floor beside Riley. Quinn held up items, waiting for Riley's approval, and then she would either lay it on the floor to put back later or fold it up and put it in the duffle bad while Riley ate another ice cream sandwich. Finally Quinn joked, “You've had like three of those since I got here.”

“So?” She asked, biting into it again and chewing.

“What are you pregnant?” When Quinn asked this Riley looked away from her.

She scoffed, “No.”

Quin reached out, pinched her thigh and exclaimed, “Oh my god you're so knocked up!”

“Knocked up makes me sound like I'm seventeen and had sex in the backseat of a Pontiac.” Riley stated, rolling her eyes even though she knew she had used the term several times since finding out she was pregnant again.

“Speaking from personal experience there or what?” Quinn asked with a smirk.

Riley rolled her eyes again, “Please, Shea and I never had sex in a vehicle until I came here and it was in a Ford truck so if anything Nashville has turned me into a redneck.”

Quinn let out a laugh and then said, “Yeah... I've had sex in a Ferrari so... I got you beat there.”

“You've probably had sex in a lot of places I haven't. Shea and I are boring, honestly.”Riley told her and Quinn chuckled.

“Not that boring if you're knocked up again.” When Riley shot her a look Quinn held her hands up and listed off other word options, “Bat in the cave? Bun in the oven? Preggers? Harboring a uterine parasite?”

Riley couldn't help but chuckle and she told Quinn, “Get out of here.”

“I personally am partial to the harboring of a uterine parasite just so you know.” Quinn informed her as she zipped up the duffle bag.

Riley couldn't help herself but admit to Quinn, “Shea and I got into a huge fight when I told him I was pregnant. It's been a struggle to go into this happy and excited like I should be, he's already there but, and as bad as I feel for saying this, he's not the one who has to go through it and take care of everything at the same time, you know? I just... I'm scared of doing something wrong, or screwing this up and I don't know how to move past that. I didn't want to be pregnant and have a baby right now, this is the last thing I wanted, and I know that probably sounds awful, but I just hate that again this was thrown at us before we were really ready.”

Quinn gave her a sympathetic smile and assured her, “I know it must be terrifying, but you're not in it alone. If you guys ever need anything, help, a break, whatever you need every guy in the locker room and his wife or girlfriend would be willing to help. You guys are not alone.”

Changing the subject off of her unborn child Riley asked Quinn, “What time does your sister get here?”

“Around four thirty or five.” Quinn told her, not pushing Riley any further in their conversation about the baby.

“Tell her to come here, I'll cook dinner and we can all hang out. As much as she probably wants to be alone she needs to be around people who care about her right now.” Riley told her, trying to decide what she would make for dinner that night.

Quinn gave her a relieved look, “Thank you. I was actually worried about having to be alone with her right now. I don't know what to say, and I don't want her to hate me for being right about him you know?”

“She's not gonna hate you, she's gonna love you for being you and for helping her when she needs it.” Riley told Quinn, and she grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze and told her, “You're a pretty great sister.”

Quinn smiled and she told Riley, “You're a damn good mom.”

“You will be one day too.” Riley assured her as they headed downstairs with the duffle bag.

“Not as good as you are, you were like...born to be a mom Riley.” Quinn told her, bumping her hip with Riley's.

Riley told her, “Not always.”

With a quirked eyebrow Quinn asked her, “What does that mean?”

“Before Shea and I were really serious I never wanted kids. Honestly, Dave would laugh at me right now, to see me with a toddler and another baby coming because I was always so, so adamant about not wanting kids.” Riley told her.

“And then you met Shea and everything changed?” Quinn asked.

Shaking her head Riley explained, “Not even then. I never really changed my mind until my first year here. That was when it all changed, that was when I considered us really serious and not just a high school relationship you know? And I'd see Shea with little fans and all of a sudden it was like my uterus betrayed me.”

“I've always wanted babies.” Quinn told her, and Riley wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I'm sorry.” Riley said and Quinn crunched her eyebrows together so Riley explained, “I've been complaining about how the timing is wrong and how Shea and I aren't ready for another baby and how I'm upset that we're having to deal with this when you don't even get to experience this for yourself. That's not cool of me, and I'm sorry.”

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and told Riley, “Am I upset that I'm never gonna get to be pregnant? Yeah, but it is what it is and I can't change it, I've accepted that. But Riley, you're so lucky, and I know it's hard and scary for you, but you're lucky and I hope some day you see that.”

“I do know I am, now, so thank you for reminding me of that.” Riley told her and when Quinn nodded her head Riley told her, “Thank you for reminding me that I can do this and that we'll be fine.”

Trying to lighten the mood Quinn smiled and shrugged her shoulders, telling Riley, “I mean, I do what I can.”

Riley let out a laugh and nodded her head. And then she told Quinn, “I want another boy.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “One more boy and then we can work on a girl or two. And I want this one to look like Shea too, and I've been secretly making lists of names that I like, but only if they go well with Shea as a middle name.”

“See, you have nothing to worry about. You're gonna be fine.”

They would be fine.