Weapons of War

"How are you feeling?" Shea asked Riley curiously as they walked side by side down a path behind their house, Dug trotting a foot or so ahead on his leash.

Riley turned her head to glance at him, brow raised slightly and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday you were talking about having trouble breathing, and you've been more uncomfortable than usual lately." Shea told her, and Riley had to admit she was a little surprised that he picked up on that. Shea then added, "You're also really tired and a lot more slow moving than usual."

"Yeah well your child is making my life very difficult lately." Riley stated and Shea smiled at her.

He reached out and slipped his hand into hers as he said, "Sorry. My freakishly large genetics."

Riley nodded her head and ran her free hand over the top of her stomach and told him, "I can no longer leave the house without someone to make sure I'm wearing the same shoe on each foot."

Shea chuckled, "I wouldn't tell you."

"Mean." She said with an eye roll.

Shea grinned at her and then he looked down at her stomach himself and said, "I feel like you like doubled in size over night."

"I know. It's like I went to bed with a turtle shell and woke up with a beach ball." Riley stated and Shea rolled his eyes. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head and she said, "Although, yesterday, at the drug store some guy carried my one bag out to the car because he thought I was gonna go into labor any second. So I mean I guess that's a plus of being a walking planet."

Shea rolled his eyes and then told her, "I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself anymore. Strange men being nice to you? No."

Riley let out a laugh, patted his chest and said, "Please, like anyone is gonna be hitting on a pregnant woman in a drug store."

"You'd be surprised." Shea stated, and then he made her laugh again by saying, "As a matter of fact, you're just not allowed to leave the house again ever. Can't take the risk of men trying to get in your pants."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious. I would be trying right now if you weren't a planet that didn't like being touched." Shea stated with a grin and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're dumb." Riley told him.

Shea said, "You're five."

"Dumb." Riley said, grinning when he narrowed his eyes at her.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and asked, "How was breakfast with Bianca the other day? I forgot to ask."

Riley hesitated for a moment but was quick enough to tell him, "It was good."

"Nice to get out of the house for a bit huh?" Shea asked her with a smile. Riley smiled gently and nodded her head as they approached the backyard once again. They were heading up the little hill at the end of their backyard, toward the fence and gate when Riley stopped walking and put her palms against her knees. Shea, a few feet ahead before he noticed she wasn't walking with him anymore, turned around and asked in concern, "You okay?"

She nodded, "I'm fine."

"No you're not." Shea told her, glancing over to find Dug sitting beside the gate, jogged back down the little hill toward her. He placed his hand on her back and asked, "What's going on Riley?"

She tried to straighten up but ended up leaning back down against her knees and said, "Nothing."

"Stop lying to me." He told her firmly.

Riley sighed and said, "I think we walked a little too much is all."

"Bullshit. Walking for twenty minutes doesn't make you that out of breath and whatever else is going on that you won't tell me." He told her, watching as she rolled her eyes at him.

She looked up at him and said, "It's just a cramp and it's not a big deal."

"A cramp? What do you mean? How is that not a big deal?" She let out a sigh, this was precisely why she didn't want to tell him. Shea had a habit of panicking in situations like this and that wasn't helping her.

"Because I already talked to the doctor about it. She said not to worry unless it doesn't go away and they've been going away." She told him, slowly straightening up now that the cramp had gone away.

It was clear that Shea wasn't just going to let it go however as he asked her, "You've talked to the doctor… this has happened before? How long has this been going on Riley?"

"A week or two. It's only happened a handful of times." Riley told him as she slowly started to walk and Shea followed beside her.

"A week or two?! Why didn't you tell me?" Shea exclaimed as he pulled the gate open and then locked it shut behind them as Dug ran to the deck.

Riley sighed as they headed across the lawn toward the back deck and she said, "Because I know you'd freak out and it would stress me out. It's fine Shea."

"You should have told me." Shea told her.

"I'm sorry." She told him as she slowly made her way up the steps on the deck.

"No you're not. You don't think I need to be involved in these things and then you act like you don't understand why I get upset over it." He slid the patio door open and waited until Riley walked through it. Shea stayed outside for a moment to clean Dug's paws before they both walked into the house.

Pekka was sitting on the couch watching cartoons with Noah, who was curled up in his lap, and Pekka informed him, "Riley went upstairs. Said she was tired and was gonna lay down."

"She's pissed at me, I'm pissed at her… we're just mad at each other." Shea muttered as he dropped onto the couch.

Pekka stared at him for a few seconds, blinking slowly before he tossed the couch pillow at Shea's chest and told him, "Well get the hell upstairs. You're not helping any by sitting downstairs when Riley is upstairs pissed off."

Shea let out a sigh and he glanced at Noah, "I'll talk to her later."

"If you don't go upstairs right now I'll never be your friend again." Pekka told him.

Shea grinned, "That's all it took?"

Pekka rolled his eyes and said, "Go. I'll hang with the kid. We're very interested in this episode of…whatever this show is."

Shea chuckled and took one last glance at Noah, who was now asleep in Pekka's lap before Shea got up and slowly headed upstairs. The bedroom door was closed, not surprising and Shea let out a sigh as he approached the door. Why did he feel the need to pick that fight?

Grow a pair Shea.

He knocked, for some reason that he didn't know why, and then he turned the knob and pushed the door open. She wasn't in the bedroom, but he caught sight of her foot on the floor in the closet so Shea approached the closet and pushed the partially opened door further open but Riley didn't look up at him. So he leaned half against one of the frames of the shelves holding folded up sweaters and half against the wall and watched her; she was sitting on the floor between his mountain of dress shoes and his rack of game day suits, one leg stretched out in front of her and the other was tucked and hooked underneath the knee of her other leg, she was leaning back against the wall with one hand dragging back and forth across her stomach as she flipped through a photo album that looked as if it had seen better days.

She flipped the page and Shea watched as a small smile spread across her lips, she turned to him and asked, "Do you remember this?"

He looked down at the photo album as she tilted it his way and he couldn't have stopped himself from smiling even if he had wanted to. Stuck to the left handed page was a picture of the two of them; Riley was sitting on his lap, one arm around his shoulders while Shea's arms wrapped around her middle, he was watching her with the tiniest smile on his face while Riley was facing his right in the middle of a laugh.

Shea pushed off of the wall and took a few steps toward her. He settled into the space next to her and Riley admitted, "I can't for the life of me remember when that was."

"Your twenty-fourth birthday, when I convinced both our families to come visit at the same time." Shea told her, and then he leaned closer to her and pointed to an arm in the corner of the photo and he told her, "If I remember correctly I think that's my dad."

Riley smiled and nodded, flipping the page. There was a picture of Shea and his brother a summer or two into Shea's career, and then there was a photo that made her eyes well up with tears. Shea, at least five years younger, was sitting on one of the steps of the deck in the backyard with a beer in his hand, while Dave leaned against the railing next to him. The two appeared to be in deep conversation, about hockey and improving his game no doubt.

She rested her head on Shea's shoulder and he glanced down at her and asked, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." She lied.

He called her on it, "Bull. Riley don't think I haven't noticed. You're not fine."

She sighed, this could have been her moment to tell him everything, she knew she should have, but she just couldn't do it. She couldn't put that on him, not now with him being so, so close to being cleared to play. So she told him, "I'm just tired. This whole pregnancy thing is wearing me out."

Shea wrapped an arm around her shoulder and said with a small smile, "Just think, only four more months give or take."

"And then we'll have two kids and not enough pairs of hands." Riley stated with a sigh.

Shea placed a delicate kiss to the side of her head as he told her, "But in three more months the season will be done."

"Season won't be over until May, preferably June." She told him and when his brow raised in questioning she informed him, "I decided that I'm settling for nothing less than round three of the playoffs this year."

"You did?" He asked her in amusement.

She nodded her head but didn't respond, she simply put her head back on his shoulder and flipped to the next page in the photo album. There were a few pictures of Shea as a baby that he wondered how they had gotten in there, and then there was a page with a picture of him as a toddler, he guessed two or three years old and Riley pulled her phone from her pocket and pulled up a recent picture of Noah.

She set her phone beside the picture of Shea and laughed, "It's like you're twins."

Shea smiled and told her, "Yeah it's kind of scary actually."

With a smile Riley spoke softly, and she surprised Shea, "I'm gonna try to do better."

"At what?" He asked her in confusion.

His eyes were on her but Riley kept her eyes on the photos in front of her as she told him, "Just… I'm gonna try to do a better job with everything. Be a better mother, a better wife."

Shea stared at her in surprise for a moment, and he felt that right in his gut feeling of guilt as her words sunk in. He grabbed her hand and told her firmly, "Don't do that. You're not a bad mom Riley, and you're not a bad wife. I'm so sorry if I ever made you think that."

"You didn't. I know I could be better at it all. It's just hard and I guess I never thought it would be this hard and I'm sorry."

"You're the best mom. You really are. If I could go back and pick who to have a family with it would be you every time. Don't ever doubt that Riley, you're an amazing mom." He told her, his voice soft but firm. She nodded her head slowly but she still stared at the photo album in her lap. Shea pulled her attention to him however when he told her, "And you're a great wife. I know I probably don't make you feel that way very often but you are Riley. You were a great wife before we were even married. I know things are hard, and lately our relationship is like being on a roller coaster but I'd take our relationship this way with you as opposed to being without you."

"But you were right. I don't try very hard to give you the things you need. I don't put the effort in to open up and give you more of me in the way that you need and I'm afraid that it's gonna be the same with Noah. I don't want him to feel like I don't care, or that I don't have the time for him. I don't want either of you to feel like that. So I'm gonna work on trying to be better." Riley told him, watching as Shea smiled gently.

Her brow raised and he told her, "I don't think you know how much I love you."

"I do."

"Not possible." Shea told her. He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her back into his chest, pressing a very loud kiss to her cheek he told her, "At the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy… I don't exist without you Riley."

- - -

Riley and Shea were both sitting on the couch watching TV when there was a knock on the door. Before either of them could get up it opened and Quinn walked in, announcing, "We come bringing Noah's future wife."

"She's not marrying into this family. I like you guys but I see enough of you now." James stated as he followed Quinn inside with the baby carrier.

Shea rolled his eyes, Riley laughed and immediately straightened up and motioned for James to hurry up. He chuckled at her and set the baby carrier down and he let Quinn pick Peyton up out of it. Quinn then dropped onto the couch beside Riley and said to Peyton, "Okay, we talked about this. None of the screaming or hair pulling, and definitely none of that spit up thing you like to do when dad holds you okay? Show aunt Riley and uncle Shea that you're a nice, well behaved lady."

"Yeah, don't embarrass us with that God awful banshee cry please." James added for good measure as Quinn handed Riley their four month old, who, in his opinion, had already picked up on Quinn's loud mouth trait.

Shea chuckled and Riley simply looked down at Peyton, who was looking up at her with big blue eyes, and she said to Quinn, "She's so beautiful."

Quinn smiled, "I know, right?"

"Seriously tho. Watch your hair and jewellery. She will rip it right off of you by the handful." James stated, and Riley grinned at him.

"You could stand for some shorter hair." She joked, and he rolled his eyes.

Riley rolled her eyes when Shea reached out and plucked Peyton right from her hands, settling her onto his lap as his large hands held her in place and kept her up right. She blew spit bubbles at him, and he smiled as he reached out with the bottom of his t-shirt and wiped them away, ignoring the face cloth James handed him. Babies weren't supposed to be clean. He made faces at her, spoke in a low, nearly inaudible voice to her, no one around him could hear what he was saying.

Riley watched as he held her firmly under her arms, his thumbs across the front of her torso, the rest of his fingers sprawling across her back as he leaned back in the couch and lifted Peyton up into the air in front of him. He lowered her to him, blowing a raspberry on her cheeks, alternating cheeks each time he lowered her, and then he would stretch his arms back out and raise her high in the air. She would squawk in excitement each time he did it, and every time he would lower her toward him she would reach out and press her tiny hands against his nose or chin. Within half a minute of Shea taking Peyton from Riley it was almost hard for James, Quinn and Riley to hear each other over the sounds of baby giggles.

Without either of them taking their eyes off of Shea, Quinn told Riley, "I could stare at her for days on end. I'm seriously obsessed with her."

James nodded his head in agreement and Shea surprised everyone by asking, in a borderline baby talk voice, his eyes never once leaving Peyton's, "How could you not be?"

"Babe, do I need to take her away from you?" Riley asked him in amusement.

Again he didn't even look away from the baby in his arms as he said, "Don't you dare."

God did she ever love that man.