Weapons of War

"You're getting too big. Stop growing." Riley told Noah as she lifted him up and sat him down in the baby seat of the grocery cart she was pushing.

He smiled at her, "No."

Riley glanced around and asked him, "Where did your daddy go?"

"Baby!" Noah exclaimed and Riley laughed.

She followed Noah's instructions and headed over to the baby section, where she found Shea with Isla in her carrier, hooked on one arm while he filled up his other arm with soap and wipes and whatever else he decided they needed while making a list that morning. He turned when he saw them approaching, and smiled gently, dumping what was in his arm into the cart before he asked Riley, "I think I got everything, did I get everything?"

She glanced at the list in her hand, and what was in the cart and told him, "Diapers."

"What?" He asked absentmindedly as he looked over the wall of products in front of him.

"You forgot the diapers." She informed him, and he looked over at her and literally face palmed. Riley grinned, "How could you forget the diapers? You're such a slacker."

"Give me a second." He mumbled, going around the corner to the next aisle over for diapers. He came back with not one but four boxes. Her brow raised and he shrugged, "They're on sale and she goes through them like they're napkins."

Riley shrugged her shoulders and waited until Shea had shoved the boxes on the rack underneath the cart before she started moving again, going to the first set of items on their list. She held the list out to him and with a grin she said, "Your writing is atrocious, you're gonna have to read this."

He rolled his eyes but smiled, and he asked, "How come after sixteen years together, I have no issue reading your writing but you haven't figured mine out?"

"Because my writing is neater than yours?" She asked him with a smile.

Shea smirked as he said, "No way is that true."

"I mean... in my dreams it is." Riley stated, pouting over at him as he laughed. Noah giggled, and Riley turned to him and asked, "You think mommy's funny huh?"

He nodded his head, "Yah."

She and Shea both chuckled at his reaction, and while Riley manned both the cart and Isla Shea went over and gathered things on the list, depositing them into the cart before he would take the baby carrier back and Riley would push the cart to the next section.

With their groceries purchased, and loaded in the car along with both the kids and themselves Shea turned to look over at Riley and he asked her, "Alright, what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

Noah, from the back seat called out, hands in the air, "Play!"

"Well apparently you're playing for the rest of the day." Riley told Shea with a smile.

He chuckled, "Really."

"Got somewhere you need to be or something?" Riley asked him curiously.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I was hoping you could help me out with something."

"No way Jose Mr." Riley stated, shooting him a pointed look.

Shea laughed and assured her, "Not like that I swear… although I wouldn't object to that kind of help a little later on."

She rolled her eyes and asked him, "So what do you need my help with?"

"The guys and I were trying to think of something we could do for Quinn and James. I figured that since you do know her the best maybe you could help with that." Shea told her softly, and Riley reached out and ran her fingers through his hair with a small smile.

"That's really sweet of you guys." Riley spoke softly, and when Shea shrugged his shoulders as if he was uncomfortable even having the conversation she grabbed his hand on the gear shift and gave it a squeeze. She told him, "I'll help, but I'm gonna need you to make yourself scarce for an hour or two this afternoon."

His brow raised as he game to a stop at a red light and he asked her, "Why?"

"Quinn's coming over and I think she would be a little more comfortable… you know." Riley didn't know how to say what she was trying to say. Shea's brow stayed raised and she sighed, glanced back at the kids and when she found Noah sleeping she said, "She wants to spend some time with Noah."

"Oh." Shea said softly, and he looked over at Riley as he asked, "Are we gonna talk to him about this?"

"I was actually hoping to talk to you about that." Riley said, and as Shea pulled into the driveway she told him, "Once we get inside."

He nodded and Riley rolled her eyes as he grabbed both kids from the backseat and brought them inside before he told her, "I'll bring the groceries in."

"I'm not helpless." Riley stated as she stood next to the open back of the SUV.

He smiled over at her, kissed her forehead quickly before he said, "I know. Go occupy our little monsters, it won't take long."

She made sure he saw her eye roll before she headed into the house listening to him laugh from the driveway. When she went inside she found Noah petting Dug by the patio doors, and Isla was just starting to fuss in her carrier so Riley leaned down and lifted her out before she gently bounced her around.

She was still fussy, but not nearly as bad when Shea walked in with several grocery bags balancing on his arms. Riley shook her head at him, and she waited until he was done putting away anything that needed to be refrigerated before she pushed the patio door open and said, "Alright, boy and dog outside."

Noah grinned up at her and he followed Dug out into the backyard before she and Shea walked outside. They took seats on the deck, and Riley finally got Isla to settle down, she simply stared up at Riley with wide blue eyes.

Riley looked down at her with a smile, ran her fingers down her stomach and said softly, "Bad news."

"What?" Shea asked, slightly panicked.

She smiled and told him, "I still find babies addicting."

He let out a laugh, "Don't do that shit to me."

"She's like a crack baby." Riley stated and again Shea laughed. She lifted Isla up higher and said to her, "I just want to smush you, you're so cute."

"Please don't." Shea said with a grin. When Riley ignored him and continued to interact with Isla he asked her, "I have no chance of getting her at all today do I?"

Without even looking away from the baby in her arms Riley popped the 'p' when she said, "Nope."

So Shea watched them for a few minutes, every so often he would look over at Noah, playing in the yard, but for the most part he simply watching Riley and Isla.

Finally when Riley settled Isla back in her arms and leaned back in her chair Shea reminded her, "So… this whole Noah and Quinn thing."

"Right." Riley said softly, she glanced over at Noah and explained to Shea, "Quinn asked me if we were gonna talk to him about this… and I guess I've just been thinking maybe we should. I don't want to not say anything and then all of a sudden have her not in his life you know? I feel like that would be worse for him than trying to prepare him. But I wanted to wait and talk to you, and see what you thought."

He smiled gently and said, "Look at how far we've come."

"What do you mean?" She asked him in confusion, brows crunched together as she studied his face.

He turned to her and told her, "Six months ago you would have made that decision without me."

"I know. I meant it when I said I was going to try to do better. That I was going to make the effort to change." She told him, and when he smiled she asked, "How am I doing?"

"Really good. Thank you." Shea told her softly.

She looked over at him with soft eyes and told him, "I think it might be a life time job, but the way I felt when I was pregnant with her… I never want to feel like that again. I just want you to know that I am working on it but it just might take a while for it to become second nature."

Shea smiled over at her and he reached out, taking her hand in his. He gave it a gentle squeeze and assured her, "I'm okay with waiting. I don't want you to feel the way you had been again either Riley. A little progress here and there is all I ask for."

"Thank you." When she said this his brow raised and she explained, "For being patient. It's not really fair to you, but I really appreciate it."

He leaned over and kissed the side of her head, before he said, "Don't thank me. Just promise that if I ever get to the point where I'm not being patient with you that you'll kick me in the ass alright?"

Riley let out a laugh and she nodded her head, "I promise."

With a smile Shea said, "Alright. Back to our original conversation."

"Right. Got a little sidetracked with the emotional shit." Riley joked and Shea let out a chuckle.

He curiously asked her, "You think we should tell him now?"

"I think we should talk to him. Let him know what's going on and try to prepare him a little so that one day when Quinn suddenly isn't around he'll at least be a little prepared… I don't know." Riley said softly, glancing out at Noah in the backyard. She said to Shea, "I don't want to scare him or anything but I don't want him to just… like wake up one morning and all of a sudden this person who was such a major part of his life isn't here anymore."

"I think you're right." When he said this she turned to look at him in surprise but Shea watching Noah with a sort of sadness she wasn't used to seeing on him. She reached out and placed her hand on his forearm, stealing his attention away from the giggling little boy that was running around in the yard. She smiled softly and he told her, "I don't like the idea of trying to teach a two and a half year old about death but I mean… you're right. It's better to do it now than it is to wait until Quinn's gone."

"But maybe we don't go too in depth. And as much as I know you're gonna hate hearing this, maybe I should have the conversation with him." Riley hadn't been sure how to approach this. She knew that this was a big conversation to have, but she knew that Noah likely wouldn't understand very much, and with Riley being the less emotional more level headed one out of the two of them she figured it might be best to come from her.

Shea nodded, "Maybe do it when Quinn's here. It might be easier for him then."

Nodding her head slowly Riley looked at Noah and mused, "I wish we didn't even have to have this conversation at all."

Shea nodded his head as he squeezed her hand and then looked over at Noah as well as he said, "Me too."

- - -

Shea had made himself scarce but instead of leaving the house he simply retreated to their bedroom upstairs when Riley told him that Quinn was on her way over. So when the door opened after two quick knocks Riley met Quinn in the foyer and said, "Before we go in there… Shea and I were talking and I just wanted to know if you were okay with kind of… trying to get Noah…"

When she paused, unsure of how to say it, Quinn smiled, let out a small chuckle and asked, "Ready for when I die?"

"You have a very morbid sense of humor." Riley told her with a small smile of her own. She had long since gone with the decision to go with the flow around Quinn; if she was happy Riley would mirror it, if she was upset Riley would comfort her and if she wanted to make jokes about her situation Riley stopped balking and simply joked back.

Quinn nodded and asked, "What the hell, I've been talking about this for days to people, what's one more?"

As they walked into the living room Riley asked her, "How did that go? Telling your family?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, "Taya's so mad at me for not telling her sooner that she still won't talk to me, not that I can blame her. James' siblings are just kind of in shock I guess. Everyone's skirting around the subject but at least they're not treating me any differently."

"What about your folks?" Riley asked her as she went into the kitchen to grab them both drinks.

When she sat down on the couch beside Quinn and handed her the bottle of water in her hand Quinn told her, "They're over in France or something right now so I called them yesterday morning… they're gonna come out in a few weeks."

"And you're okay with that?" Riley asked Quinn.

She shrugged, "I mean, I wish they were here now but we just have so many people here that it just is too much right now. So I guess them waiting a bit is better."

Riley nodded her head slowly, she didn't get it but she didn't say that. She could read Quinn well enough to know it was a touchy subject. So instead she looked over at Noah, who was playing with toys on the floor by the TV and she asked him, "Hey buddy?"

He looked over at her, "Ya?"

"Can you come here for two seconds?" She asked and when he approached her she reached out and pulled him up onto her lap. Noah looked up at her in curiosity when she said, "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"'Tay."

"Well, do you remember when you asked about daddy's mommy and my daddy?" Riley asked him curiously. He nodded his head and she cleared her throat before asking, "And how I said they got very sick and they died?"

"They angels?" He asked her, and she nodded.

Riley was at a complete loss for what to say next. It wasn't as if there was a manual for this. She would have never even thought of having this conversation with him now, in reality she thought they would cross that bridge when he asked about it but that just wasn't an option anymore.

Sensing Riley's struggle Quinn reached out, tickled the bottom of Noah's foot to make him giggle before she told him, "Well that's what's happening to me."

"Huh?" He asked, head tilted.

Quinn smiled and told him, "See, I'm really sick, and eventually I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

This time it was Quinn who stopped talking, and her eyes welled up with tears and Noah reached out and tried to wipe them away as they fell. Riley reached out and squeezed his shoulders as he asked Quinn, "Need fighters?"

Quinn looked up at Riley as if asking her for some help so Riley took in a breath of air and told Noah, "She has lots but sometimes that's not enough. So just like grandma and grandpa aunt Quinn is gonna die, and it's gonna be really sad but it's gonna be okay, she's gonna watch over you and be your angel."

Noah looked between Quinn and Riley, no doubt confused as to why they were both crying. He then looked at Quinn and asked her, "Visit?"

Quinn let out a breath of air and her voice was shaky when she told him, "No buddy, I'm not gonna be able to visit."

He pouted, and his eyes welled up with tears as he shook his head and said, "No."

"Come here." Quinn said, reaching out to pull him into her and when Noah curled up on her lap, head on her shoulder and they both cried Riley got up from the couch to check on the baby upstairs to give Quinn and Noah some time alone and also to give herself a breather.

Shea was sitting on the bed, watching an old TV show that probably hadn't been on air in over ten years with Isla tucked into one arm when Riley walked into the room.

Their eyes met and Shea's expression softened, he asked her, "How's it going?"

"I don't know. Okay I guess. I just thought they could use a few minutes alone." Quinn told him honestly.

He patted the spot beside him and stated, "I think you could use a few minutes too. Come on, nothing cures sadness like crack baby cuddles."

She let out a laugh that morphed into a cry as she sat down next to Shea and he immediately placed Isla in her arms. She looked down at the baby, ran a hand gently over her soft brown hair, and then she said to Shea, "I'm not ready for this."

"I know."