Pull Me In

I stood in front of the place I once called my home, I had arranged to meet up with Johnny and try and figure out the mess I had gotten myself into so Zack wouldn't have to. The last thing he needed was to give Matt a reason to go after him. Sighing softly, I headed down to the starbucks that was no more than two blocks away. I wasn't going to stay and chat for a while, but I felt better meeting in a public place where things could stay as neutral as they possibly could. The phone call had been playing through my head since it happened, why did Johnny need to leave his bed to tell me he had feelings for me? Was he in a relationship with someone that he hadn't told anyone? Then again, I wasn't on the top of his friends list as it was.

Johnny was already waiting inside when I arrived, his hands cupped tight around his drink. His eyes were scanning the room every few seconds, I could tell he was looking for me. Swallowing the little pride I had left, I walked over to his table and sat down across from him, his eyes softened as he locked onto mine.

“Sorry I'm late, I slept later than I expected” It was a horrible lie, but I had to convince Zack that he would be fine without me for a little while, and that wasn't easy.
“That's alright, I've been waiting for my coffee to cool off anyway” Johnny glanced down at his cup and bit his lip softly, I took in the stiffness of his shoulders and the way he looked around the room.

It was as if he was expecting someone to come barging through the door and drag him outside, I was too afraid to ask if it would bother him.

“Let's talk about that phone call, I need answers” I watched Johnny chew his nails until they were stubs, I knew it was going to bother him, but damnit it was bothering me more.
“This was a bad idea, I should go” Johnny made to stand up before a voice was calling his name, followed by mine.
“Johnny, I thought you were going to the grocery store?” I was frozen in place at the sound of the voice. Of all the people in the world why did it have to be him?.
“I was, but then I ran into Brian and I wanted to catch up with him” Johnny turned to look up at Jimmy, his eyes full of panic. It explained why he was so nervous before.
“I didn't know you two knew each other” Jimmy smiled down at Johnny with so much love that it made me feel as if I was intruding in their own personal world.
“I met him through Zack, and we haven't talked in a while” He grabbed Jimmy's hand and traced his thumb along his knuckles.

I looked down at my hands and swallowed thickly, I needed to leave before one of us said something we could regret.

“Well I won't intrude, I was just grabbing a coffee before I headed to work” Jimmy smiled softly and squeezed Johnny's hand tightly in his own.
“I'll see you later tonight, I love you” Johnny gently pulled his hand away from Jimmy's and placed it against the table as Jimmy said his goodbyes and left.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat, it sounded as if I was choking. The person I grew up with side by side was dating a man who wanted my boyfriend dead, who professed his love to me. This couldn't be happening. I looked at the table, the wood grain looked tacky. Now wasn't the time, I needed answers more than anything, I needed to understand.

“He's my best friend, I grew up with him” My eyes locked onto Johnny's as I glanced upwards.
“I didn't know who he was before I met him, I met him the same night after Zack brought you to the party” Johnny pushed his coffee away and wrung his fingers together.
“If you had someone then why did you call me? I know for a fact he doesn't treat you poorly” I ground my teeth together and sighed, keep calm Brian, this isn't the place.

Johnny winced and cowered back into his seat, as if he was expecting me to strike him. I raised my eyebrow slightly and looked at his posture.

“What?” I leant back against the chair and frowned, why was he afraid of me suddenly?
“Sorry, I'm so used to being disciplined in public, I'm not used to someone not doing it” He sighed softly and placed his hands onto the table.
“Let's talk about the phone call, now” I crossed my arms and glared, I felt more anger than anything.
“You wouldn't understand Brian, I love him, I really do. With you, it's entirely different, I used to feel so amazing when I was with you” I couldn't bare to hear anymore, how could he tell me this when he was with my best friend?
“I'm leaving, this conversation is over” I stood up from the chair and felt my blood run cold as Matt stepped inside, fortunately for me, he hadn't noticed Johnny and I just yet.

We had about ten seconds before Matt would notice us, ten seconds before my life could be ended at the snap of two fingers. I roughly pushed passed everyone that were near the entrance and ran outside, I ran until I was far enough away that Matt wouldn't find me, far enough that I was standing in front of my old home. The house I grew up in. I needed to call Zack, I needed him to come pick me up and take me home, I needed to be with him. I loved him.

~~~~

“Sorry I'm late, I ran into Johnny and didn't want things to get bad” I set down the bags of groceries I had recently bought and sighed. Zack hadn't talked much since the incident.
“Matt called earlier, said he saw you at starbucks” Zack's voice sounded so empty and cold. Until it hit me that Matt had told him where I was.
“I was going to get a coffee for you, but Johnny was there and I know he'd make a scene” I could feel the lie slip through my lips, it sounded fake even to me.
“It's fine, I just wanted to make sure you were safe from Matt” Zack stood up and made his way over to me slowly, his eyes vacant of any expression.
“Don't worry, I'm home and safe” I turned to face Zack and gently pressed my lips against his own. He gripped my hair roughly and deepened the kiss.

Confused I felt my lips move against his, why was he suddenly feeling affectionate? He hadn't touched me since the incident.

“Please don't ever leave me Brian, you're all I have left” Zack sobbed against my chest and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.
“I'm not going to leave Zack, I promise” I held Zack gently and frowned, where had all of this come from? Surely he had family to go to, didn't he?