Fire and the Flood

I woke up to the world spinning.

I mean, the world was always spinning, but my head felt like it had been on the spin cycle of a washing machine all night. I groaned as I sat up in total darkness, engulfed by a comforter that most definitely was not my own. Running a hand through my hair, I felt around for my phone, hoping it would give me some insight as to what time of day it was. As my eyes adjusted, I glanced around the dark room, the walls littered with artwork and old vinyl record covers. Who’s ever room I was in, I’d have to make sure to give them credit for their taste in decor.

After sitting in the mystery bed for a few more moments, I kicked the blanket off of my lower body, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My feet landed on plush carpeting, allowing me to shuffle over to where a dim light was seeping through under the door. I gripped the cold handle of the door before swinging it open, only to be met with a pair of bewildered green eyes staring back at me. Too surprised myself to even think of something to say, my eyes only locked with his as I stumbled backward slightly. John caught my forearm, balancing me before I could fall.

“S-sorry, I didn’t think you were awake yet,” he stuttered, his eyes searching my face. “I just had to grab Jared’s keys.”

I nodded, my mind going unintentionally blank. I stepped to the side, allowing John to enter what was presumably his room. He switched on the overhead light, quickly making his way over to his dresser and grabbing Jared’s keys off of it. I couldn’t help but take him in, black beanie perched just on the back of his head, the thin white t-shirt just barely hanging onto his shoulders.

“So this is your room?” came tumbling out of mouth before I had the chance to stop myself. John glanced over his shoulder at me, the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded, glancing around his room. “I moved out of my parent’s place a couple months ago.”

“I’m sure Jenny was devastated,” my eyebrows shot up in surprise. I crossed my arms over my chest, thankful that the conversation was flowing better than expected.

“She’ll live, she still has Shane and Ross to bother,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. His smile faltered slightly. “But I think we both know she was more devastated when you moved the New York.”

Suddenly, it was like there was a weight pressing down on both of us, the tight feeling in my chest returning. He locked eyes with me, knowing that what he had just said struck a nerve. I wanted so bad to lash out at him, to tell him that none of what had happened was my fault, but I couldn’t. I grinded my teeth together, balling my hands into tight fists. John licked his lips, obviously debating how he was going to rebound from his comment. I couldn’t understand how he could be so hot and cold, one second laughing and the next back to a passive aggressive demeanor.

“I didn’t mean–” John began, but was cut off by Jared appearing in the doorway, slapping a large hand on John’s shoulder.

“Dude, what the hell is taking so long? I’ve gotta go pick up Emma from her mom’s place,” he sighed, snatching the keys John still had clutched in his hands. “Hey, Cade, hope you’re feeling better. I’ll see you guys later!”

“Actually,” I began, glancing from John to the redhead who stopped in his tracks. “Would you mind dropping me off, Jared?”

“Sure thing,” Jared replied warily, glancing from John to I. I brushed past him, not even bothering to give him one last look before I walked out of his apartment.

—

After Jared had dropped me off, reassuring me again that John was just in a bad place, I threw myself into reorganizing my closet. Tossing shirt after shirt into a pile on the floor, I found it therapeutic that I was getting rid of things that I no longer needed. I had music softly playing from my speakers, the sound of Third Eye Blind filling my room.

I had barely heard my mom come up the stairs until a knock on my doorframe nearly gave me a heart attack. I jumped, sending a pile of old band shirts flying in every direction.

“Sorry, I should have given you a warning,” she smiled faintly, leaning against the wall. “You were out awfully late last night.”

“I know,” I sighed, already hating the direction that this conversation was going in. I busied myself by fixing the pile, hoping to avoid any means of conversation about the events of last night that I barely remembered.

“You stayed at John’s last night,” she clicked her tongue against her teeth. I whipped my head up, my cheeks instantly flushing. “Ah, so it is true?”

“I guess so,” I murmured, my eyes focused intently on the pattern of my rug. My mom was silent for a few moments, and when I finally looked up to meet her eyes, there was a hint of mischief behind them. Realizing what she thought, I began shaking my head. “No, whatever you’re thinking, absolutely not.”

“What am I thinking?” She feigned a surprised tone. “Jenny told me that you stayed at his new apartment, he was over at their house this morning.” She quirked an eyebrow at me, a sly smile fighting its way to get on her lips.

“I don’t even know how I got there,” I muttered, picking at the frayed hem of my shorts. “Jared drove me home.”

“Jenny said John was pretty upset,” my mom sighed, smoothing a hand over her hair. “Did something happen?”

“We haven’t been able to have a normal conversation in two years,” I shrugged. “It was nothing.”

“Knowing John, it probably was more than just nothing,” I rolled my eyes, turning my focus back to the piles of clothes that I had been organizing. “You two can’t avoid each other forever.”

I sighed, knowing she was right. There was no way that I could avoid John’s presence forever, but I could sure as hell try to prolong it as long as possible.

Just then, my phone buzzed with a new text message from an unfamiliar number. Swiping my thumb across the screen to unlock it, I nearly choked after reading what the message contained.

I was going through some boxes and I found this of us. Hope it brings back some good memories. I’m sorry.
-John

It was a picture of Hunter, John and myself, fresh out of high school and still in our caps and gowns from graduation. We looked so happy, John sandwiched in the middle of Hunter and I, his arms squeezed tightly around our shoulders.

“Cadence? Is everything alright?” my mom asked, kneeling down next to me. I almost forgot that she was still in the room with me. I turned my phone towards her so she could see the picture. “Oh.”

“I have to talk to John.”