My Way Home Is Through You

"What the hell am I doing?" Larken grumbled aloud as she padded down the lushly carpeted hallway. Being spontaneous? Irresponsible was more like it, but whatever demon was pushing her forward nudged her all the way to the Charles River Suite.

Larken breathed in deeply and pulled her dark ponytail tight. Then she knocked on the door with a quick snap of her wrist. It opened almost immediately, like Gerard had been waiting for her.

He was standing in a pair of loose track pants and a really ragged tank. Not exactly a seduction outfit. That made Larken feel a little better, but she still felt strangely attracted to him. Maybe it was how clean he looked...

Gerard smelled pleasantly like orange and something spicy. It was obviously that he'd showered from the damp state of his hair and the fact he he didn't smell like an ash tray. Gerard appeared oddly vulnerable and almost in need of a hug.

He smiled, but it was a sleepy one that didn't quite meet his eyes. Then he dramatically motioned for her to enter and said, "Quick Sunshine, before someone catches you. Though a scared little mouse like you wouldn't let them get close enough..."

Larken bristled at being called a mouse. She knew Gerard was just baiting her, but it almost made her regret her decision to come upstairs. Drawing her shoulders up square, she pointed a long manicured finger at him and said," I don't like your nicknames. Unless you want to clean up the pretend puke by yourself, I suggest you call me by my actual name. Otherwise, step aside and get me something with caffeine. You may not be tired, but I am so not awake enough for this shit."

He nodded and moved aside with a demure, please yourself expression. Larken stomped past him and then stopped short when she entered the room. It really was the one with the great view. All of Boston was laid out before her in glowing electric lights. Skyscrapers reached up to the starless night as the moon softly bathed the quiet river in her light. Larken felt a sense of ownership and pride. It was her beautiful city and she never really appreciated how magnificent it was.

"Do you ever feel like an alien?" Gerard asked quietly, "Just an outsider who can't go home."

Larken wanted to deny it. She wanted to shout, this is my home. This is where I get to belong. It wasn't true though was it?

Larken was a human with all the traditional flaws in her framework. She'd felt lost and out of touch with everyone. She'd felt forgotten and even worthless once or twice. That was life though wasn't it? A series of nice moments tossed into a total shitstorm.

"I just hope reincarnation isn't real," Larken commented dryly. "Because there is no way I want to live through this fucking mess again. There has been some good stuff though along the way though..."

"What's been good for you, Larken?"

"Lots of things. Like my favorite song one the radio and the moment I learn Dunkin' Donuts has pumpkin spice flavor for coffee," Larken said with a smirk."Speaking of coffee, where is mine?"

Gerard put both hands up in surrender and walked over to the Keurig. "French Vanilla, Toffee Strudel, or morning blend?"

"Toffee, with cream please," Larken replied as she walked over to the bed. The TV remote was lying on the rumpled coverlets. She picked it up and then decided against it. Why ruin a good morning with a crappy early show or just that screen with the flag waving when there wasn't any scheduled programing. The sun would be up in an hour or so. She hadn't watched it rise in such a long time.

Gerard came over with her coffee and she felt their fingers brush when he handed her a cup. His were rough and calloused like he worked hard for a living. She supposed being a musician would be difficult. Constantly traveling from one city to the next and never knowing when seats would stop filling up.

She tried to surreptitiously ogle his features. How old was he? Was he married? She didn't even know his last name. She looked at his wedding finger. No decoration to be seen there. Gerard looked like he was in his mid thirties. Had he really spent that long being lonely.