Beyond Redemption

The soft rain drizzling outside my apartment window lulled me to sleep on the couch. Nothing but silence and the light pitter-pat of rain against the glass calmed me more than anything else in the world. I felt relaxed and at ease, that is, until my roommate, Liz, came home.

"Wakey wakey Jamie! We have groceries to put away!" She announced loudly as she slammed the front door shut with her foot. She carried in far more bags than what looked possible for small frame to carry.

"I'm up." I lied, stretching and slowly rising from my short lived nap. I started helping her put groceries away when I realized out other roommate wasn't anywhere to be found. "Where's Bane?"

"He's getting the rest of the groceries and locking up the car." She said, just as he walked in the front door.

He put the groceries down on the table walked away into the living room to watch TV. Bane wasn't much of a "helping" kind of guy. He was lazy and a little annoying to be around for too long, but he was Liz's boyfriend so I had to play nice. "What's for dinner ladies?" He asked from his seat.

"What do you want?" Liz asked, probably used to his behavior. She cleaned up after him and cooked for him all the time, which was nice of her, but he wasn't even decent enough to thank her half the time.

"Pizza." Again. Bane's favorite, and we had it at least three times a week. I eventually got sick pf it and started making my own food when they had pizza, and to be honest Liz was tired of it too, but Bane didn't really take no for an answer. He'd complain and have an attitude until he got what he wanted anyway. I wasn't even really sure how or why either of us put up with him as a roommate.

After the food was cooked, we all sat down in the living room together to eat. "So how's The Bloom Room today?" Liz asked, obviously not interested in whatever Bane was watching on TV.

"Good, as usual." I smiled. I worked at a flower shop called The Bloom Room and it was actually something I really enjoyed. Flowers were something I loved and they normally meant good things, like weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentines, but occasionally we had to supply flowers for funerals, which of course were the most sad occasions. Other than the funerals, I loved my job. I got to drive a round quite a bit and deliver flowers, but my favorite part of the job was working in the green house, it made me feel calm and serene with the beautiful flowers and the incredible earthy, floral smells.

"I wish I could work." She whispered, glaring at her boyfriend for a second. Bane was a controlling guy. He didn't like it when Liz talked to men, even in the most professional way. He had made her quit 3 jobs before she decided to just stop working and just go to her college classes full time. He started having to pay her portion of rent for her, which always made her feel bad. I didn't understand their relationship to be honest, it seemed a bit stressful, I never would have wanted to be with a man like that.

"I know." I said, putting a hand on her shoulder for a moment. I felt bad for her, because she was treated that way, but at the same time she had the freedom to leave him if she wanted. I started to wonder if there was more to their relationship than I knew about.

I shook off the terrible thoughts and continued on with our night as normal. Liz and I sat around and talked about "girl stuff" until Bane was ready for bed, at which point we'd all go to bed. I sometimes felt like a third wheel, or like I was missing something in my life, but it was likely just because another relationship was constantly in my face.

I'd met Liz when we were 10 in grade school. We'd been best friends since, so it was no shock that we ended up being roommates. Liz met Bane in college about six months before he moved in with us. He wasn't the greatest back then either, but he was a little more tolerable when he first moved in.

I'd been in a relationship right before I moved in with Liz with a man named Noah. He was sweet and kind at first, blond, beautiful bright blue eyes, he was really something to look at, and everyone knew it. I'd met him in high school and we dated for 4 years. I lived with him for a while, but things went downhill fast. Long story short, my beautiful Noah wasn't just mine, he was Jenny's and Melissa's and Natasha's and who knows who else. He had been cheating for a long time, and I suppose I had an idea that he was, but it was still a bit shocking to find him in the bed we'd shared with another woman. The worst part is that when I walked in and saw him with Jenny, he just stopped and stared at me for a second, and then continued on having sex with Jenny, still looking at me, not caring at all.

I'd shut the door behind me and waited patiently until they'd finished. A while later he came out from our room wearing nothing but his boxers. Fighting with him that night was very different than any other night. We weren't yelling or calling names or anything. I felt defeated and crushed, but he didn't care at all, though I don't know how you could be with someone for 4 years and not care about something like this. But we talked quietly about how he didn't love me anymore, and how he'd been with a lot of other girls. I packed my bags that night and stayed with my mom for a few weeks until Liz and I found our apartment. It was the toughest time of my life back then, but it made me realize that just because a beautiful man says "I love you" doesn't always mean it's true. I swore I'd protect myself from something like this happening again.

My romantic life had since stopped abruptly. Getting over him was hard, and I wasn't ready to start anything new, I wasn't even looking nor did a man even catch my eye until one day at work. I never thought I'd have such interest in a man from one conversation, but I definitely did, and it was a day that I will never be able to forget as long as I live.

I'd gotten to work a few minutes late and was a bit frazzled and rushed. It was my day to open and I could only hope no one would be waiting for me to get there. It was a small shop, and really not a lot of people came in every day, but just as my luck seemed to be, someone was waiting for me. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting!" I quickly apologized without even looking at my customer. I unlocked the door and rushed to my post, opening the register and getting the freezers and greenhouse unlocked.

"Don't worry, take your time. I'm in no rush." The man said with a heavy accent that I wasn't familiar with. I hadn't really heard anything quite like it, I thought maybe it could have been Scottish somehow, but that didn't seem quite right.

As I readied myself for the day, the man in my shop casually looked around at some of the bouquets we had out on display. I took a moment to actually look at him and I was taken by him. He was an incredibly attractive man, longer, shaggy hair, tall, thinner build, his eyes made you want to submerge yourself in a pool. He was truly something to look at, but obviously so far out of my league and most likely taken since he was in a flower shop. "What can I help you with today?" I asked, trying to hold my confidence.

"Well, long story short, my wife isn't very happy with me right now and I need to apologize. What woman doesn't like flowers, yeah?" He half smiled, making me nervous. In fact, each step he took toward me with every word he said made my heart race a little faster. I could feel my cheeks burning and was sure he'd noticed.

"Apology flowers for your wife." I repeated, a part of me disappointed that he was married, but I kind of already expected that. "What are her favorite flowers? I can try to put a few things together for you."

"Oh god." He chuckled, looking embarrassed. "This is going to sound awful, but I have no idea. She changes her mind like she changes her clothes. There is no keeping up with Jonna."

"Okay, well, would you like to look around our greenhouse and see if anything catches your eye?" I offered, as we did with most of our customers who had no idea what they even wanted.

"Lead the way." He smiled, allowing me to walk him into the greenhouse. We walked for a bit as I occasionally pointed out common flowers people picked like roses, lilies, carnations, and daisies. We came across black calla lilies and they seemed to strike his interest. He looked at them for a moment before I offered them to him.

"We don't sell too many of those. I could give you a deal on them if you like them." I smiled, thinking it was a bit of an odd choice for an apology gift. He did look a little on the darker, rocker, maybe a little gothy side. I wasn't sure where to place him in my mind as he also looked well dressed, but somehow also like a skater? He definitely kept me wondering.

"I don't think she'd see the beauty in it." He half smiled, maybe a little disappointed or irritated and kept walking with me.

"What's your wife like?" I asked, hoping to get a better idea what to even look for.

"Jonna is.." He stopped for a moment before he continued on. "Jonna is a complicated woman. She seems to be one way, but she ends up being another, just as she tends to like things one moment and hate them the next. She's dramatic, indecisive, not easy to please I suppose." He seemed to be very open with how he felt about things, but at the same time he wasn't really even telling me anything at all. He circled his sentences around, like he was trying to figure things out himself, which made it a little hard to follow, and the distracting accent wasn't helping.

"Where are you from? If I can ask." I didn't want to be rude but his deep voice was killing me. The accent was strange but I liked it a lot. Everything he said sounded more poetic, more beautiful than anyone I knew, and I thought part of it was due to the origin of his English speaking.

"Helsinki, Finland." He answered, not surprised at my asking.

"Sorry, I just could not figure out that accent of yours!" We both chuckled and continued on our path to find the perfect bouquet. Most men who came in did not take this much time or effort in picking out flowers, but really liked and respected how careful he was in the process. He really wanted to make Jonna happy, not just throw cheap flowers at her in a half-assed apology. "And is your wife from Finland too?"

"She is. We're actually here for my career in music. I've decided it would be good to try recording in America. She wasn't happy with the transition, which is what brought me here." He explained. Although he sounded excited about his music, Jonna's unhappiness obviously clouded any excitement he could have.

"Oh, what kind of music?" I asked, though I kind of figured it was some form of rock music.

"It's a genre of our own actually, we call it love metal. The band is called HIM, you should look it up sometime." He only really smiled when he wasn't talking about his wife, which I found odd. Maybe it wasn't a very happy relationship.

"I will." I nodded. "Also, I think I've got it. Lilies of the Valley are Finland's national flower, right?" I was happy I'd done my studying in the time that I'd worked this job, otherwise I would have had no idea what it was.

"I suppose it is. That's a good idea." He complimented me, giving me a sense of approval.

"Maybe we can get some big white lilies and surround them with the lilies of the valley and some greenery?" I offered, hoping I'd finally got it this time.

"Wonderful idea, love." He nodded, looking satisfied with the decision.

I gathered the selection and lead him back to the desk where I cut the flowers and arranged them perfectly in a vase with some water. "Okay, here you go. I hope she likes them." I smiled, truly wishing him the best with his difficult wife.

"Thank you so much.. Uh.." He stumbled, waiting for me to give my name.

"Oh! Uh, Jamie." I smiled, hoping he'd give me his name too.

"Ah, well, thank you Jamie. You've been a wonderful help." He carefully picked up the flowers and started walking toward the door.

"I didn't catch your name." I said, not even sure if he'd heard me as I half chickened out of asking.

"Ville." He said, smiling and waving from the door. When he left, I felt a little disappointed. Something was different about him, he kept lingering around in my mind all day, which wasn't normal for me, especially after everything that happened with Noah.

I didn't know if I'd ever see Ville again, but I really hoped I would. He made me nervous, he made my heart flutter and palms sweat, like I was 16 and dying over the attention of someone I'd been eyeing for a while. I could only hope this would not be our last encounter.