Through the Trees

I could feel my body tossing and turning as I struggled to sleep. Something was wrong, I could feel it.

My eyes shot open, and my skin was sticky with sweat. My fingers were wrapped around the hilt of my knife. A gun would be too loud, and attract too many biters- I couldn't put the farm in danger like that. Not after they were nice enough to take me in.

Slowly, I sat up and stretched my body out before climbing out of my tent. The sky was dark, and I could see Daryl still sitting where I had left him in front of a small fire. "Can't sleep?" I questioned him, looking at the blank expression on his face. He was silent for few moments before responding. "Naw, you?" He asked, not bothering to look up at me. Quietly, I moved to where I was sitting a bit closer to the fire. "Too much on my mind." I sighed, shaking my head.

"They're taking him away tomorrow." Daryl said, as if he knew exactly what was going through my mind. Rick had already told us all what he was planning, and it was hard to miss the fact that Shane didn't agree with him- especially with all the complaining he did about it. "I know, that doesn't mean I should feel comfortable with him being here until then." I snapped. My words came out a bit more harsh than I wanted them to.

I could see Daryl get defensive about the way I had spoke to him. It was obvious by the way I could see his body tense up. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it did." I was quick to apologize.

It was also very obvious that my apology didn't mean jack shit to the high and mighty Daryl Dixon. He will always be mean, defensive, and rough around the edges; and we will always continue to put up with it because that's just how things are.

"Look, it doesn't matter. What happened that makes you so nervous around the kid anyways?" He asked. As expected, he ignored the apology.

"Do I have to have a reason? He's not one of us, I don't trust him." I was quick to come up with something to avoid telling the truth. I do have a legitimate reason why I don't trust the kid, but I wasn't about to tell Daryl that story. Only Hershel knows what really happened; and that's only because he was the one to take care of me after Otis found me and brought me to the farm.

"You know you're going to have to talk about it some time, whatever it is." Daryl said with a sigh. The tone in his voice had drastically changed and I hadn't been expecting it.

"What?" I gasped, shocked.

Daryl shook his head slightly, and finally took his eyes away from the fire's flame in order to look over at me.

"Look, I may not know what happened, but it's completely obvious that it did. You can't just keep it bottled up forever. Eventually, you'll need to talk about it, and whenever that time comes I'll be right here." He explained. I was at a loss for words, how was I supposed to respond to something like that coming from him?

"Thanks." I mumbled, not sure what else I could say. I moved slowly, standing up to go back to my tent. I may no be able to go back to sleep tonight, but that doesn't mean that I can't keep trying.

I lay on my little cot for hours, and I could hear the crackling of the fire just outside of the tent. I could also tell that Daryl hadn't moved from his spot in the slightest. There was no chance of him moving until morning, when everyone else wakes up.

Daryl would rest for a few hours in the morning before helping do chores around the farm. Rick and Shane would be taking Randall away from the farm to release him. They would be letting him go with enough provisions to last him, if he rationed it the right way, about a week. If he isn't smart and doesn't ration it, it would only last him two days tops.

By time morning came around, I had gotten, maybe, an hour or two of sleep- and my body was screaming at me for it.

With a groan escaping from between my lips, I once more crawled out of my tent. I stood up straight and stretched my body out. Oh, how my body was incredibly sore, and just begged me to crawl back into bed. As expected, Daryl was in his tent resting, so I started making my way towards the farm house- where I found Carol outside.

"Where is everyone" I questioned, walking up to the small woman. She was standing alone outside, hanging everyone's clothes out to dry. Upon seeing me there, a large smile appeared on her face.

"Good morning," She smiled, "I think everyone's inside. Rick and Shane left with Randall earlier. They should be back any minute actually." She explained to me. "Thanks, if you need any help feel free to ask." I thanked her before walking away.

Walking into the house, I found Maggie and Lori putting together a small little lunch for Beth. We were all worried about the young girl. After what Shane pulled at the barn, the girl just hadn't been the same. Then again, neither had Hershel. Beth went into a state of shock, while Hershel had run off into town on a drinking binge. Rick and Glenn left to bring him back, and that's when they brought Randall back with him after saving his life. They should've just left him if you ask me.

I stood in the kitchen with Lori, giving Beth a good amount of time to eat before going back to check on her. We were going to take her for a walk. Fresh air would do her a world of good right now, she can't just stay cooped up in that room forever.

Yet when Lori brought the plate back from Beth's room, I noticed something.

"Lori, didn't you give her a knife?" I questioned, looking down at the tray. "Yeah why?" She responded. She was standing a few steps behind me. "It's gone." I gulped.

Lori was quick to run back into Beth's bedroom and search for the missing utensil. Meanwhile, I cleaned up in the kitchen. God, I hope it was just misplaced or had been dropped. I could never imagine Beth actually hurting herself like that. It would just tear Maggie and Hershel completely apart. After a few moments, Lori came back into the room and gave me the knife before telling me she would be right back.

I ate the vegetables and a few bites of the chicken off of the untouched plate as I cleaned up. Lori came back alone, and went straight to Beth's room. Obviously, what had happened hadn't been good judging by the fact that Andrea and Maggie came running into the house together and went straight to Beth.

Lori dragged Andrea out of the room, and shut the door behind them- allowing Maggie and Beth to talk alone. Even though the door was shut, we could still hear them yelling at one another.

"Where's Hershel?" Andrea asked suddenly. I was sitting up on one of the counters, leaning ever so slightly forward. "He doesn't want to find out yet. It's a family matter, we let them handle it." Lori sighed, eating one of the carrots from Beth's plate. Good, we didn't need to get in the middle of this.

"That's working it out?" Andrea scoffed, talking about the screaming. "When Beth stops fighting that's when it's time to worry." Lori stated. She was right, but of course Andrea just had to disagree with her. I could hear Maggie scream telling Beth that she was being selfish, right as Andrea took a deep breath. "This could've been handled better." She sounded upset. "How so?" Lori questioned, her back now turned to the blonde woman.

"You shouldn't have taken the knife away." Andrea spoke as if it were completely obvious what she meant. "Are you fucking insane?" I snapped, jumping down from my spot on the counter. Lori stopped what she was doing, and turned around. "Excuse me?" She questioned. "You were wrong." Andrea was quick to insist.

"Like hell she was!" I growled out. Lori and I may not be the best of friends, but there was no way she was the one in the wrong right now. Not in this situation.

"Like Dale taking my gun, that wasn't your decision. She has to choose to live on her own, she has to find her own reasons." Andrea completely ignored me. "So what, you want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori scoffed, now washing dishes.

"If she's serious, she'll figure out a way." Andrea did kind of have a point there. Beth can always find ways around us; but that didn't meant that she was going to. "That doesn't mean we can't stop her, or at least let her know that we care."

"That has nothing to do with it, Lori. She only has so many choices in front of her, and she believes the best choice is suicide." Andrea just wasn't going to give up on this, was she? "That's not an option." Lori refused. She wasn't backing down on this. I was tempted to voice my own opinion, though didn't knowing that I would only get ignored. No use in wasting my breath.

"It is. She doesn't need to be yelled at or treated like a child." I could also agree with Andrea about that. Beth shouldn't be treated like a child, no, but she is only just a teenager. Then again, the topic of suicide shouldn't be taken so lightly or encouraged the way that Andrea is doing. I get that Andrea was suicidal at some point so now she thinks she knows the way that the whole world is supposed to work but this is different. Beth is not Andrea, and this situation is completely different than the one Andrea was in.

"So she needs a loaded gun, right? You'll understand if I don't send you in there." Lori growled out, her eyes narrowing down into a glare. Hell yeah, go Lori. "I came through it!" Andrea tried to argue. "And now you're just such a productive member of the group!" I scoffed. "Let Maggie handle this her way." Lori ordered.

"I contribute. I help keep this place safe." Andrea was obviously insulted by my words. "You sit on top of that RV thinking you're better than the rest of us. You can't even shoot; or do you not remember almost killing Daryl." I snapped.

Once more, Andrea ignored me. Though my words did seem to ignore her. "The men can handle this on their own. They don't need your help." Lori was quick to side with me on this. I could see her growing angry, as she threw her towel down onto the counter. "I'm sorry, what would you have me do?" Andrea scoffed, she was slowly growing more and more annoyed with the situation. "Oh, there's plenty of work to go around." Lori was quick to reassure her.

I took this opportunity to walk away. Silently, I made my way outside.

Once more I found Carol, this time sitting on the front porch steps as if she were waiting on someone. I made my way over and sat down next to her. "Things are kind of tense in there, huh?" She was the one to initiate conversation as I sat down. "You could say that, yeah." I chuckled lightly.

We sat in silence for a few moments before someone else came walking out of the house. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Lori stepping towards Carol and I. "What's going on?" I asked, looking up at the dark-haired woman.. She had her hands on her hips, and a very upset expression on her face. "I just needed some air and to get away from her." Her words made me laugh.

Honestly, I couldn't blame her. That's the same reason why I had come outside- to get away from Andrea.

The three of us were able to sit with one another in silence, and I saw the smile appear on Lori's face when a familiar car pulled back onto the farm. I was happy that they were back safe; but when I saw Rick pull Randall out o the back my happiness disappeared. I felt my chest grow tight and it was like I couldn't breath.

Slowly, I stood up and book it off the porch. It was like I wasn't in control of my body as I ran towards the woods. Passing Daryl in the process, I could hear him calling after me as I continued to run farther away.