Sweet n Salty
I ALMOST DIED
So... I have been quiet for a while, since going into the hospital Sunday afternoon. I think I had a guardian angel looking over me (thanks, Grandma!). I was only a short time away from dying Monday morning. Luckily, my great friend, and nurse Vivian Kennelly came in to say goodbye to me after her shift was over. She said I was completely comatose, and clammy. She called my nurse in and they ran a code on me, because I was completely unresponsive. When they checked my blood sugar, it was... 13.
I don't remember much at all, it was like being in a dreamless sleep. I remember waking up and screaming from the pain, and the vomiting with the full force of my body behind it. I was so cold, and Vivian grabbed bunch of warm blankets and cocooned them around me. They had given me n a r c a n. Which, as I've said before, is excruciating. It's the worst feeling I've ever come across in my life.
But I can't stop thinking about how close I was to never waking up again. If Viv hadn't decided to pop in to say goodbye, if she decided to go home and let me sleep, by the time the nurse came around to me (this happened during shift change), it would have been too late.
You know how people with near-death experiences say that they look at the world in a new way? That's totally true. Without even trying to, I have found myself appreciating all of the little things. Like the sound of the birds outside of my window, and the warm breeze that wafts in, over my skin. And all of these little things, here and there.
I just can't believe how close I came. I had to have had somebody looking over me. And obviously, I'm here for a reason. I have some p u r p o s e here in this world. And I'm determined to find it. I've decided I'm going to keep fighting, for as long, and as hard as I can. I'm not going to lie down, and let my circumstances walk all over me. I'm going to make my OWN circumstances. I'm not giving up just yet!
I don't remember much at all, it was like being in a dreamless sleep. I remember waking up and screaming from the pain, and the vomiting with the full force of my body behind it. I was so cold, and Vivian grabbed bunch of warm blankets and cocooned them around me. They had given me n a r c a n. Which, as I've said before, is excruciating. It's the worst feeling I've ever come across in my life.
But I can't stop thinking about how close I was to never waking up again. If Viv hadn't decided to pop in to say goodbye, if she decided to go home and let me sleep, by the time the nurse came around to me (this happened during shift change), it would have been too late.
You know how people with near-death experiences say that they look at the world in a new way? That's totally true. Without even trying to, I have found myself appreciating all of the little things. Like the sound of the birds outside of my window, and the warm breeze that wafts in, over my skin. And all of these little things, here and there.
I just can't believe how close I came. I had to have had somebody looking over me. And obviously, I'm here for a reason. I have some p u r p o s e here in this world. And I'm determined to find it. I've decided I'm going to keep fighting, for as long, and as hard as I can. I'm not going to lie down, and let my circumstances walk all over me. I'm going to make my OWN circumstances. I'm not giving up just yet!