Sweet n Salty
The Sum of Our Lives
When I walked in today, my therapist said that I was looking really good and that my energy felt “lighter”. So I suppose that’s good... I mean, I feel pretty good - a little lighter. So I’m glad that it shows on the outside, too. We talked about how, now that I’m caring for the dog, I’m focusing less on myself and my issues and so I’m not internalizing everything. She thinks it’s really good for me, and I agree. I definitely feel a little more energetic, a little less depressed, since I’ve started taking care of him. He’s such a clown - more expressive than most people that I know. He never fails to make me laugh. I can’t remember what I said to him last night, but I told him I wasn’t going to do something for him, and he just groaned with so much disgust, it was hilarious. I really do love that boy.
I got SO frustrated last night. My pump alerted me that my sensor was updating again. The past few times, every time it’s done that, after a couple of hours, it tells me that there’s something wrong with the sensor and that I need to change it. And it’s always been before it’s supposed to be due for a change. Especially last night. They’re supposed to last for 7 days, but last night was only my 5th day wearing the sensor. So I called the tech support line and we were on the phone for probably an hour and she basically just concluded that the sensor doesn’t last as long in me, than it does in other people. But since this one was acting up SO early, she would issue a ‘courtesy replacement’ sensor. By the time we were off the phone it was almost 1:30 in the morning and I was exhausted. So I didn’t even bother to do further trouble shooting. I just pulled the sensor out and set up the transmitter to charge during the night. THEN, when I went to put in a new sensor this morning, there was a faulty one that I pulled out (the needle had already been retracted, so I couldn’t insert it). So there’s ANOTHER sensor down the drain, so to speak. But I finally got the new one placed, and I just calibrated it. But I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. I’m so frustrated with things going wrong with this CGM (continuous glucose monitoring) system. Maybe it’s just about me getting used to it, but it’s very frustrating when alarms are constantly going off, left and right.
I’m getting ready to get my nails done, because after my therapy visit, half of my nail ripped off of one finger. I’m so disappointed because it was my own, natural nail, not the plastic/acrylic tip that they usually put on. But now I’m going to have to get one. I think I’m going for nude with an opal ‘sparkle’ on my ring fingers. Next time I think I’m going to do teal with gold foil on my middle fingers. I know a lot of people might find this mundane, but it’s the little things that boost my mood from time to time. I’m already planning on changing my hair up after comicon at the end of May: I think I’m going to do purple tips! I thought about doing the whole thing purple but I really do love my blonde. So I’ll start out small and if I really like it... then maybe I’ll ‘go big’ for the fall! Ooh. That would be a really pretty color to carry into the fall season. Ahh, I just got really excited for that idea! But it’s insane that I’m already thinking about/planning for the fall. Time goes by so fast!
Especially when you’re dying... you’re so very aware of how quickly time goes by. Gotta hang on to the now, and really cherish all the moments that I have! Because in the end... that’s the sum of our lives: all the moments that we’ve had. It’s so easy to forget that. But I think it’s important to remember. I really need to start actively working on my bucket list again... because that is full of potential moments to be had! And I want my life to be full, at the end. That’s important to me. And it’s important that it’s been spent with all the people I love; all those closest to me.
I got SO frustrated last night. My pump alerted me that my sensor was updating again. The past few times, every time it’s done that, after a couple of hours, it tells me that there’s something wrong with the sensor and that I need to change it. And it’s always been before it’s supposed to be due for a change. Especially last night. They’re supposed to last for 7 days, but last night was only my 5th day wearing the sensor. So I called the tech support line and we were on the phone for probably an hour and she basically just concluded that the sensor doesn’t last as long in me, than it does in other people. But since this one was acting up SO early, she would issue a ‘courtesy replacement’ sensor. By the time we were off the phone it was almost 1:30 in the morning and I was exhausted. So I didn’t even bother to do further trouble shooting. I just pulled the sensor out and set up the transmitter to charge during the night. THEN, when I went to put in a new sensor this morning, there was a faulty one that I pulled out (the needle had already been retracted, so I couldn’t insert it). So there’s ANOTHER sensor down the drain, so to speak. But I finally got the new one placed, and I just calibrated it. But I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. I’m so frustrated with things going wrong with this CGM (continuous glucose monitoring) system. Maybe it’s just about me getting used to it, but it’s very frustrating when alarms are constantly going off, left and right.
I’m getting ready to get my nails done, because after my therapy visit, half of my nail ripped off of one finger. I’m so disappointed because it was my own, natural nail, not the plastic/acrylic tip that they usually put on. But now I’m going to have to get one. I think I’m going for nude with an opal ‘sparkle’ on my ring fingers. Next time I think I’m going to do teal with gold foil on my middle fingers. I know a lot of people might find this mundane, but it’s the little things that boost my mood from time to time. I’m already planning on changing my hair up after comicon at the end of May: I think I’m going to do purple tips! I thought about doing the whole thing purple but I really do love my blonde. So I’ll start out small and if I really like it... then maybe I’ll ‘go big’ for the fall! Ooh. That would be a really pretty color to carry into the fall season. Ahh, I just got really excited for that idea! But it’s insane that I’m already thinking about/planning for the fall. Time goes by so fast!
Especially when you’re dying... you’re so very aware of how quickly time goes by. Gotta hang on to the now, and really cherish all the moments that I have! Because in the end... that’s the sum of our lives: all the moments that we’ve had. It’s so easy to forget that. But I think it’s important to remember. I really need to start actively working on my bucket list again... because that is full of potential moments to be had! And I want my life to be full, at the end. That’s important to me. And it’s important that it’s been spent with all the people I love; all those closest to me.