Status: Polishing and adding other details.
Never Forget You
Seven.
After a few days, Joshua and I were able to relax a little more, knowing the other was here to stay for good. He had managed to move himself into a tent across from me, so we weren't far apart. And I ended up falling back into a routine. Waking up, taking Cyrus with me for breakfast sometimes with Dominick if he wasn't busy, taking my pills, then going to the daycare for a couple hours.
As I made my way to the daycare, Cyrus and I passed the two large bulletin boards with the headers of 'found' and 'missing'. Both had an equal amount of photos of children. And right near the middle, just off to the side of the 'found' board, was a picture of Cyrus. Taylor had taken a photo of him when he was on my lap. In it, you could see my hair, and my arms around him, and a light smile on his face. I had put his photo up there because it wouldn't be fair to him or his family if they weren't able to find each other. After all, he wasn't mine to keep. No matter how much he was growing on me, and how much a part of my daily routine and happiness he was apart of.
Cyrus, who was growing bolder and more insistent each day pulled on my arm, as I laughed and let him pull me along. We entered the daycare, which used to be a gift shop. The building was intact for the most part, and things had been moved out to set up little tables, and areas for the children to play. Cyrus let go of my hand and went to join a boy whom he was starting to consider a friend at the drawing table.
"Stell." I called out, as I spotted her leaning up against the counter writing something down. She looked up and grinned.
"Hey there, gorgeous. I was wondering when you were going to show."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not even late. I'm early, thank you very much." I grabbed a faded blue smock from the coat rack beside the counter and slipped it on over my t-shirt and shorts.
"So, we're down four more children. Christi, Jasmine, James and Daniel. Family has all come to take them home." She continued writing things down.
I leaned against the counter. "That's good. Really good actually. Especially for Christi. She was always so upset, saying over and over about how her family abandoned her and she was going to be alone forever." I sighed. "How are you supposed to tell a three year old girl that her parents are dead? That they aren't coming back? It's too much for her little mind. Kids can't comprehend death so young."
"Except Cyrus."
I bit my nail. "Except Cyrus. I'm worried that it might severely damage his mental development or cause some type of problem down the road. Or even behavioral." At the sound of his name, he jumped up and came running to me, crashing into my legs. I grinned and lifted him up into my arms. He hugged me tightly.
"Draw!" He said.
"Are you asking what you want to draw?" I had been getting better at deciphering what he wanted when he used one word sentences. He nodded.
"How about...a cat? Why don't you draw Gia a cat?" I set him back down and he ran back to the table and set to work.
"He seems to be doing fine with you. I mean look, he's happy. Now try and tell me that there hasn't been any improvement since you first took him in to now." She shook her head. "It's alright, Gia. He's fine. He's happy. He's growing and improving."
"Yeah, I suppose."
She sighed. "Those kids don't know how lucky they are. To finally get away from this place and go back to a home. A real one with four walls, working water, electricity. When...if, if my family finds me, I'm taking you with me. There is no way in he-...hades," She paused, using a clean word. "that I'm going to be leaving you and Cyrus here. So, you'll be coming with me."
Stella came over and draped an arm around my shoulders, leaning on me. I rolled my eyes. "I'll still have Taylor and Joshua. And Dominick."
She pulled back, and scowled. "But they're boys. And they have cooties." She said with all seriousness, and I burst out laughing.
"Alright, chickadee, I'm heading out." She pulled off her smock and hung it up on the coat rack. "I'm going to go see Dominick. We have things to talk about." She said with a wink. I tried not to cringe. Dominick and her had become increasingly closer as the days passed. Stella at first insisted she come with me during my checkups, in case something should happen. But even I wasn't that blind. Either way, Dominick never treated me differently, and kept whatever was between Stella and him hush hush. "You going to be alright here alone?" She asked, adjusting her dress.
I 'mhmm'd. "Taylor said he was going to stop by later with dinner for me, and help the cooks bring food for the kids. And Joshua said he'd be coming by pretty soon to keep me company."
"Okay. I'll catch you later, Gee." She waved, and was out the door. I smoothed my smock down, and walked over to one of the tables to help one of the children with their drawings. In total now, there were 15 kids. Aging from 3-8. The kids were definitely a lot more toned down, but after a couple hours playing with them all, you did get fairly tired.
"Gianna." I looked up to see Joshua in the doorway, panting.
"Hey, you." I smiled, getting up.
"There's uhm, a couple here that want to see you? Something about a child here that's theirs?" A hope started to flutter inside of me. It was always the greatest, happiest moment to have family rush to the child crying. To see the most immense happiness radiate from them.
"Thanks, Joshua. Look after the kids for a few moments, please?" He nodded, as I went to walk out. Cyrus, immediately noticing my leaving, ran after me, and attached himself to my leg.
Outside, I shielded my eyes from the still bright setting sun to see a couple pull their shiny sedan car up and get out. An older man with a flourish of white hair and sunglasses, and a woman with hair pulled tightly back in a bun and her mouth set in a line. Cyrus hid himself behind my leg. The older gentlemen wore an expensive looking suit, with even more expensive looking shiny shoes. He waited for the woman to join him and they walked towards me, as he got closer he removed his sunglasses. Cyrus was growing impatient, tugging on my leg as I put a hand to his head to quiet him down.
"Gianna?" He asked, holding out a hand, and I put mine out to shake his. "Hi, I'm Sebastian Tobias, and this is my wife Nicolette. We've been looking for our grandson. We noticed you had his picture up on the board here. And to say the least, we were very overjoyed."
I grinned, a warm feeling came over me. "Of course. The child's name?" Cyrus pulled harder on my leg, as I bent down to pick him up in my arms. "Sorry, this one doesn't like to be ignored." Sebastian smiled knowingly. Cyrus buried his head into the crook of my neck, my hair covering him.
"His name is Cyrus Blake." And just like that, the warm feeling was gone, replaced by shock. My body froze up and my mind stopped processing everything. As if I had jumped into a frozen lake.
At the sound of his name, Cyrus turned his head from under my hair to look at the couple. The woman, Nicolette gasped, putting a hand to her lips to hold back a sob. "Oh, my darling baby boy!" She exclaimed, reaching out to take him from me. But Cyrus pulled back violently and tightened his grip on me, with a loud and clear 'NO.'
Startled, Sebastian looked at me, while Nicolette glared at me. Her lips pursing together. "Perhaps...we should go sit down and talk." I said, as I let them towards a table bench in the field.
--
"And so, I took him with me, and I have been taking care of him since then." I had just finished explaining how I had come across Cyrus. "He eats all his meals, and is becoming more and more active and curious each day. Though he's still wary of other people, he's just started smiling to a couple friends of mine. It's progress, at least."
"Did you not think about how you would be able to survive with a child? You're only, 19? 20? Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility. And comes with many expenses." Sebastian clasped his hands together on the table, his eyes on Cyrus who refused to come out from under my hair.
"Yes, I did think about that. In fact, it was the first thing I thought about. But, after we had come here, and spent more and more time together. I realized how much this boys happiness meant to me. He would never smile, or laugh. He didn't want to play. Only sit and stare at things. And I felt that, if I gave him away, or gave him to someone else, it might potentially damage his growth. Or his mind. It would scar him. And I couldn't put a child through that." I took a breath, my hand unconsciously stroking his head. "He's become such a big part of my life, that I-...I feel like he's almost becoming my own...child. A-and I mean no disrespect to you two!" I said quickly. "But, he's family now. Stella, Taylor, Joshua and even Dominick have all fallen in love with him, and they find joy in the little things he does as I do. When he smiles, they can't help but smile. When he manages to read a sentence by himself, they're as overjoyed as I am."
"I see. But, you did know that one day someone would come looking for him. Did you not?" He asked, curiously.
I nodded. "I did. In fact, I always expected every day for you two to come. Though it was still a shock. And I'm h-happy to give him back to you. His real family. Because you two can take care of him in ways that I can't. You can give him toys, and brand new clothing. Feed him better meals, and take him to more suitable schooling places. You can make him happy in ways I cannot. Because you can afford what I cannot." I tried to smile, but my lip quivered, as I bit down hard on it. I wouldn't cry.
"Sebastian, this is ridiculous." Nicolette's cold voice rang out. "Look, we've found Cyrus, so let's just take him and leave already. It's bad enough that he's becoming attached to a woman who is nothing to him! It's ridiculous!" She turned to me, her eyes sharp and cruel. "It was wrong of you to take this child for yourself. You can't take care of him. Ever. You can't give this child what he needs like we can. Now, give him back to us."
"She made me promise." The words slipped from my mouth, as my grip on Cyrus tightened a bit.
Her face contorted. "Who?"
"His mother. I tried to save her when she was dying, but she told me. No, she made me promise that I would take care of him."
Nicolette's face grew into a sneer, as she spat out. "Don't you dare talk about my daughter. You and her are in completely different worlds, girl. Now give me my grandson. " Nicolette reached forward, and pulled Cyrus from me. Cyrus immediately reacted kicking and crying.
"No! Nonono!" He cried out as Nicolette tried to hold him in her arms, as he squirmed to get out. "Gia!" I sat there, my head bent, as I let the tears fall free. My heart hurting so bad.
"Bye, Cyrus." I looked up and tried to smile. Cyrus had slowly his struggling and looked at me with a face full of tears, a hand reaching out to me. "Giai!"
Sebastian watched this all with calculating eyes. He walked with his wife back to their car. I followed behind, watching Cyrus look back at me, his hand still reached out. His mouth forming the word 'no' and 'Gia.'
Before they got in the car, Nicolette snapped the necklace off Cyrus and threw it to the ground. She sneered at me, before getting in the car. Sebastian got in next, his eyes never leaving me. Even as he pulled away, and started down the road, I watched them before collapsing to the ground, sobbing, taking the necklace in my hands.
Arms wrapped around me. "Am I-...Am I not allowed to keep anything in my life? Is everything that means the most to me supposed to be ripped away from me? Why?" I choked out, as Taylor tightened his hold around me, pulled me into his lap and rocked me back and forth.
"I'm so sorry, Gia. I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss him too." He pressed his cheek against my head, my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. "This is life, Gia. Cherish the time you and Cyrus had together. Keep those memories close to your heart. Who knows, maybe one day you'll meet again." I sobbed harder, my grip tightened on the pendant, as it dug painfully into my skin.
--
Taylor helped me walk back to the daycare, after 20 minutes of crying my eyes out. Before we went in, he turned me to face him, and wiped my face with the sleeves of his shirt. A ghost of a smile on his lips. "Remember what I told you. Keep the memories close to your heart. Okay?" He cupped my cheek with his hand, and I instinctively leaned into his touch. "Now, come on. Joshua has probably let the kids run free with you gone. Or they've already tied him up and are doing a pow-wow dance around him." I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips. The pendant beat against my chest as I walked, it's presence familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.
"Oh thank god, Gia. I don't know how you do it. These kids ar-" He turned around, taking in my presence, with Taylor's arm around my shoulders. "Where's Cyrus?" He asked, his head cocked to the side. Then his eyes widened in realization. "That couple, they were-" I nodded, a weak smile on my lips.
"Oh man. I'm sorry, Gia." Joshua came forward and hugged me close to him, as I leaned against him, sighing. Keep the memories of Cyrus close to my heart. Keep them close. Keep them close. I repeated over and over in my head.
"So, what were you saying with the kids?" I asked, trying to distract myself.
Joshua pulled back. "Well, I thought it'd be a good idea to give them some paint, but then one kid smeared it on another kid, and then world war three broke out. I had to separate each kid, and quickly gather all the paint. They started ganging up on me. It was scary, Gee. Kids are scary."
I rolled my eyes. "Looks like Taylor was right. We got back in time before they tied you up and did a pow-wow." I looked to Taylor and he grinned, then tapped the side of his forehead, mouthing the word 'psychic'. "Come on, let's clean them all up for dinner. Taylor, you have dinner all set?" I asked, as I went to the sink, and started filling it up with warm, soapy water and lots of face cloths. "Joshua, can you gather up all the paint supplies, and put them in the cupboard above the coat rack? Cyrus, come he-..." I broke off. Looking behind me, Joshua and Taylor looked away from me. "Damn it." I mumbled. Turning around, all the kids were looking at me. "Alright children, I want you to line up behind me okay? We gotta get you guys cleaned up! You're all so messy. I hope you at least got some of the paint on the papers!" I said in a teasing, singsong voice. The kids rang out with answers as I tried to distract myself from my mistake.
One by one, I got the children cleaned up, and sitting back at their tables. After the last child was paint free, I emptied the sink and threw the facecloths in the hamper under the sink. Joshua had left to help Taylor bring dinner back. Sitting down, my fingers touched the pendant, and I twirled it.
"Who's hungry?!" Taylor came in, with a wheeling cart with covered platters. Joshua not far behind him with plates and cutlery. The scent of mac and cheese wafting around us, but I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel much of anything.
--
By the time we had every child fed, my shift was over, and a woman named Janet had come to take my spot. We exchanged pleasantries, as she took over the night shift. Joshua and Taylor followed me out, before I turned around. "Is it okay if I have some time alone? Today has been a bit crazy for me, and I just need to think for a bit." They both nodded, and stayed back while I walked away.
Instead of going back to my tent, where I would be haunted by memories of Cyrus, I walked past it, down the paths. Night had already fallen, so it was completely dark. The pathways near pitch black, if it were not for the solar lamps staked into the ground on either side of the path. After winding, and switching paths a couple times, I came across the lake. A man-made one, but a lake nonetheless. I got off the path, and trekked through the trees. I'd done it so many times that I was able to get through without falling or losing my sense of direction. When I broke the edge of the forest, the ledge of the cliff was feet from where I was standing.
I walked forward and sat down, dangling my legs over the edge of the cliff. Below me was the lake, and I could see all the solar lights twinkling on the main paths. Almost like they were stars. Here, I could see the stars. No harsh city lights competed with their brilliance. It felt as if I was almost back in Galiano. My island.
Falling backwards, I placed my hands on my stomach, thinking back to a memory. It was one from two years ago. We were all in the forest clearing, having a bonfire, though it had gone out long ago, none of us bothered to add more firewood. It was a mid-summer, warm evening. The stars overhead twinkling with brilliance as the 1 a.m. moon started to dominate the sky. We had all laid down on the ground. Natalie had her head on Callum's chest, and I had mine on his legs on the other side. Callum has his head on Joshua's legs, as Joshua had his hand holding mine lightly. Andy was draped across Natalie's stomach, and Alex's head was on my abdomen, my other hand running through her silky hair.
"I don't think I could ever leave this place." Callum said, his voice low. As if we were children staying up late when our parents told us to go to sleep.
"It's home." Natalie sighed.
"You guys can't leave either, okay? I don't know what I'd do if you all weren't here." Callum said with all seriousness.
Alex scoffed. "There goes my plan of backpacking in Europe and becoming the world's dictator."
"Aw man. I was totally going to go visit my relatives in Japan." Joshua fake cried.
"Oh shut up." Callum laughed.
"Remember what Ms. Karla was talking about? That place called Eden? In the bible?" Andy asked.
"Uh, yeah. But I don't believe any of it. How can you have every single plant and flower in one place?" Joshua replied.
"And what about that whole Eve was born from Adam's rib? I mean, that's totally sexist. For all we know, it was Adam that was born of Eve’s rib. But they didn't want women to rule the world so they wrote it the other way." Natalie pouted, as we all laughed.
"Oh god, women ruling the world. Even as a girl, that’s a scary thought." Alex shuddered, and it reverberated to me, and I couldn't help but laugh, her head moving with the movement. "Geez, Gee. Stop laughing. This feels weird." And that just made it harder to stop. Alex turned around and put a hand over my mouth. "Shhh." I bit back a laugh, and smiled into her hand. She removed it, and laid back down.
"You guys aren't getting the point of my question!" Andy sighed dramatically. "What I'm trying to say is this place is our Eden. Our garden of paradise. We have everything we need here. Everything we want. There really isn't any reason why we should leave. I'm not talking about the religious aspects of it. Because, none of us are religious or believe in anything other than the ocean deity. But the island is big enough that we have colleges here, and schools. And career choices. Be it doctor, beautician, teacher-"
"Stripper." We all paused. "What? Who doesn't know of that little strip club on the top floor of the Alexis building." Callum said, grinning.
"Boys." Natalie and I sighed together, before giggling.
"So, this place is our Eden. Our garden of paradise." I pondered, my hand running through Alex's hair again. "I like the sound of it. Really. We are born and raised on this island. Our parents were born and raised on this island. Our grand-parents and great grand-parents were born, raised and died on this island. Generations of family have seen and help make Galiano what it is today."
"We're the children of Eden. The children of the garden of paradise. And the ocean deity protects us." Andy said.
"Of course the ocean deity protects us. She's in our blood. We're born of her." Natalie said.
"Yes, yes, Natalie. No need to shove your expert swimming skills in our faces. Now hush up." Joshua threw a stick at her, and I could hear it bounce off of her with an 'ow'.
"But what happens if we do leave?" I asked, my hand falling still on Alex's head. She reached up, and took it in hers, playing with my fingers. She held my hand up to hers, Alex's hand was bigger and her fingers were longer than mine.
"Nothing." Andy replied.
"I think what Andy means is that nothing will happen, because this will always be home. Should we all leave right now, and fly across the world to different locations. Leave for five, ten, thirty, fifty years, we can always come back because it's home." Callum explained. "This garden will never be destroyed." He said with finality.
"Good. Because I plan on growing old with you guys. And I mean, old as in wheelchair old. And when we're all in wheelchairs, we'll roll around town, taking up the sidewalks and force the younger people to walk on the road." Natalie said, and you could hear the smile on her face.
"And we'll all hang out together, watching infomercials, and old movies. We'll be the coolest group in the old peoples home." I grinned.
"We'll even go and get tattoos because we're old and people hate saying no to old people." Andy said.
"Then, we'll sit in a diner with our wheelchairs, and try to eat the food without our dentures falling out." Joshua laughed out.
"And use our senior discounts at all the stores, and pretend we're hard at hearing so they repeat it over and over again." Callum laughed maniacally.
"And then we'll....die." A long paused followed Alex's comment. Before I smacked my hands to her face.
"Such a Debby downer, Alex!" I smacked her face lightly with each word. "You. Need. To. Lighten. Up. Deb. By." She growled at me, and flipped over, throwing her entire weight on me. Her hands on my sides, as she started tickling the skin there. My reaction was instantaneous. Laughter ripped from my throat as I tried to squirm away.
"Huh? What's that? I can't hear you over how sexy I am." She said, pressing herself down on me, her tickling getting worse, as I was laughing until tears started to appear, pleas of 'stop' on my lips, but couldn't' get past the laughter.
"Alex!" Natalie rolled and jumped up, knocking Andy to the ground and jumped on Alex. Andy sighed, mumbling something about how he was comfy. Natalie gripped onto Alex's back, and she pretended to be a dog by shaking her off. Andy knelt down where we were laying and started petting Alex.
"A-are you...petting me?!" Alex sputtered out incredulously, pausing.
Andy cocked his head and looked at her, before patting her again. "Good girl." Alex roared, and attacked Andy, as I rolled out from underneath her. Callum crawled backwards on the grass to escape the fray, while I hid behind Joshua who was sitting on the ground, looking through his phone.
"I'm not a dog!" Alex yelled, and ran after Andy, with Natalie still clinging to her back, her hair flying.
"Hard to believe we're sixteen years old." I mumbled, leaning up against Joshua.
"What's the fun in growing up?" Joshua asked, grinning, the LED of his cell phone lighting up his face. Callum crawled over collapsing on my lap.
"Remember these times, Gia. For all you know, the world could end tomorrow, and these would be your last memories. Make them count." Callum yawned, stretching and nuzzling his head into my lap.
"GIANNA!" Startled, I broke from my reverie, to find myself back in present time, with a face looming over mine. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up to find Dominick staring at me with a raised eyebrow. "Ah. She's alive."
"Sorry. Got lost in thought." I said, as he took a seat next to me. "How'd you find me?"
"What? You think I don't know this is your favorite spot to come to? I've seen you up here before. And I figure this is where you'd be after Joshua and Taylor told me what happened." He passed me the bottle of water he was holding, and I took a sip.
"I see. I'm going to miss him." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know if I can handle having things that are so precious to me be ripped away."
"I'm sorry that they took Cyrus away with such...force, and finality. They could have at least let him visit you once in a while. That would make the loss a bit more bearable. But, I'm not going to sugar-coat things, Gianna. When you lost your mother, it took you a while, but you found the strength to continue on. When you thought you lost all your friends, you found the strength to continue on, and held onto the hope that you'll find them. So, now that Cyrus has been taken from you, you need to find that strength that I know is in there, and keep walking. He's still alive, Gee. Remember that. But you need to remember these times. The world could end tomorrow. Make every memory and moment count." I couldn't stop the laugh from bubbling out. "What?" Dominick asked.
"Callum said the exact same thing a couple years ago. Is this a sign?"
"Only if you want it to be." He replied.
--
Dominick and I stayed on the ledge for a bit, not really talking but watching the stars in the lake. Twinkling like a second sky. When I caught one star fly across the sky, I closed my eyes tightly. 'I wish that my heart will be whole again.' I thought.
"Come on. Let's get going. It's getting late, and you should get some sleep." Dominick got up, patting off his jeans, and held out a hand to me. I gripped it and pulled myself up, dusting off my shorts. The moon had already traveled quite far across the sky, and the stars had danced across.
Dominick led me back to the tents, and stopped as we reached mine. "You're going to be okay, Gia. You're stronger than this." He smiled. "Look, I'm going into the city tomorrow. Did you want to come with me? Stella's coming."
I snorted. "Of course she would be." He pretended not to hear me.
"We'll just be doing some sight-seeing, and such. It's my first day off in weeks, so I really want to get back into the city for a bit. Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good?" He asked.
I sighed. "Sure, I'll come. You'll know where to find me when you two are ready to go." Dominick nodded, before ruffling my hair and wandering away.
Turning my heel, I wandered back into the field, heading towards the showers. In the women's, they kept it supplied with towels, and complimentary shampoos and conditioners. Usually so late at night, no one would be in here. So I found it an opportune time to shower without worrying about others being in here with me. I entered the building, and shut the door firmly. By the lockers were changing rooms, and benches. I proceeded to strip and grab a towel off the shelves above the small lockers. I wrapped it around me, as I looked at myself in the mirror. My once silky and large honey brown hair was hanging flat around me. Dark circles under my eyes, and my skin pale. My skin pulled tight against my bones. The anemia was causing this. The constant tiredness, being cold all the time. As I looked at the girl who I was in the mirror, I wondered where the girl I used to be was.
"Died back on the island." I muttered to myself before going around to each of the 8 stalls, and turning the water all the way on and up to hot. Thick, billowing clouds of fog already started to fill the room. Draping my towel on the outside of the last stall, I entered, closing the flimsy plastic curtain behind me, letting the hot water wash over me. I stood under it, the water washing over my face as I pushed my hair back. I rubbed my face, as if I could rub away the circles under my eyes. And I washed my body down with soap as if I could wash away the paleness of my once radiant, glowing, youthful skin. You've seen death firsthand, it's written on your face. And it's not something that can be washed off so easily. The passing words of a woman walking past me one day said. "She's crazy. Crazy. Chill out, Gia." I said to myself as I rubbed my face harder.
After I shampooed and conditioned my hair, I sat down on the floor. The water beating against my back, and sliding onto my face and then dripping down. 'I wish I could drown in this shower. Succumb to the heat, and feel something other than this wretched loneliness anymore.' I thought to myself. 'But you have Joshua. You have one piece of yourself back. But you lost another in the process. Gain one, lose one. Equivalent exchange.'
Sighing, I got up, and proceeded to turn off every shower head, and walk back to the change room. I looked at myself in the mirror. The vigorous rubbing of my face had brought color back to it, and the hot water making my skin red and pink on areas. As if I were flushed. Alex's starlight necklace glittered against my chest.
As I made my way to the daycare, Cyrus and I passed the two large bulletin boards with the headers of 'found' and 'missing'. Both had an equal amount of photos of children. And right near the middle, just off to the side of the 'found' board, was a picture of Cyrus. Taylor had taken a photo of him when he was on my lap. In it, you could see my hair, and my arms around him, and a light smile on his face. I had put his photo up there because it wouldn't be fair to him or his family if they weren't able to find each other. After all, he wasn't mine to keep. No matter how much he was growing on me, and how much a part of my daily routine and happiness he was apart of.
Cyrus, who was growing bolder and more insistent each day pulled on my arm, as I laughed and let him pull me along. We entered the daycare, which used to be a gift shop. The building was intact for the most part, and things had been moved out to set up little tables, and areas for the children to play. Cyrus let go of my hand and went to join a boy whom he was starting to consider a friend at the drawing table.
"Stell." I called out, as I spotted her leaning up against the counter writing something down. She looked up and grinned.
"Hey there, gorgeous. I was wondering when you were going to show."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not even late. I'm early, thank you very much." I grabbed a faded blue smock from the coat rack beside the counter and slipped it on over my t-shirt and shorts.
"So, we're down four more children. Christi, Jasmine, James and Daniel. Family has all come to take them home." She continued writing things down.
I leaned against the counter. "That's good. Really good actually. Especially for Christi. She was always so upset, saying over and over about how her family abandoned her and she was going to be alone forever." I sighed. "How are you supposed to tell a three year old girl that her parents are dead? That they aren't coming back? It's too much for her little mind. Kids can't comprehend death so young."
"Except Cyrus."
I bit my nail. "Except Cyrus. I'm worried that it might severely damage his mental development or cause some type of problem down the road. Or even behavioral." At the sound of his name, he jumped up and came running to me, crashing into my legs. I grinned and lifted him up into my arms. He hugged me tightly.
"Draw!" He said.
"Are you asking what you want to draw?" I had been getting better at deciphering what he wanted when he used one word sentences. He nodded.
"How about...a cat? Why don't you draw Gia a cat?" I set him back down and he ran back to the table and set to work.
"He seems to be doing fine with you. I mean look, he's happy. Now try and tell me that there hasn't been any improvement since you first took him in to now." She shook her head. "It's alright, Gia. He's fine. He's happy. He's growing and improving."
"Yeah, I suppose."
She sighed. "Those kids don't know how lucky they are. To finally get away from this place and go back to a home. A real one with four walls, working water, electricity. When...if, if my family finds me, I'm taking you with me. There is no way in he-...hades," She paused, using a clean word. "that I'm going to be leaving you and Cyrus here. So, you'll be coming with me."
Stella came over and draped an arm around my shoulders, leaning on me. I rolled my eyes. "I'll still have Taylor and Joshua. And Dominick."
She pulled back, and scowled. "But they're boys. And they have cooties." She said with all seriousness, and I burst out laughing.
"Alright, chickadee, I'm heading out." She pulled off her smock and hung it up on the coat rack. "I'm going to go see Dominick. We have things to talk about." She said with a wink. I tried not to cringe. Dominick and her had become increasingly closer as the days passed. Stella at first insisted she come with me during my checkups, in case something should happen. But even I wasn't that blind. Either way, Dominick never treated me differently, and kept whatever was between Stella and him hush hush. "You going to be alright here alone?" She asked, adjusting her dress.
I 'mhmm'd. "Taylor said he was going to stop by later with dinner for me, and help the cooks bring food for the kids. And Joshua said he'd be coming by pretty soon to keep me company."
"Okay. I'll catch you later, Gee." She waved, and was out the door. I smoothed my smock down, and walked over to one of the tables to help one of the children with their drawings. In total now, there were 15 kids. Aging from 3-8. The kids were definitely a lot more toned down, but after a couple hours playing with them all, you did get fairly tired.
"Gianna." I looked up to see Joshua in the doorway, panting.
"Hey, you." I smiled, getting up.
"There's uhm, a couple here that want to see you? Something about a child here that's theirs?" A hope started to flutter inside of me. It was always the greatest, happiest moment to have family rush to the child crying. To see the most immense happiness radiate from them.
"Thanks, Joshua. Look after the kids for a few moments, please?" He nodded, as I went to walk out. Cyrus, immediately noticing my leaving, ran after me, and attached himself to my leg.
Outside, I shielded my eyes from the still bright setting sun to see a couple pull their shiny sedan car up and get out. An older man with a flourish of white hair and sunglasses, and a woman with hair pulled tightly back in a bun and her mouth set in a line. Cyrus hid himself behind my leg. The older gentlemen wore an expensive looking suit, with even more expensive looking shiny shoes. He waited for the woman to join him and they walked towards me, as he got closer he removed his sunglasses. Cyrus was growing impatient, tugging on my leg as I put a hand to his head to quiet him down.
"Gianna?" He asked, holding out a hand, and I put mine out to shake his. "Hi, I'm Sebastian Tobias, and this is my wife Nicolette. We've been looking for our grandson. We noticed you had his picture up on the board here. And to say the least, we were very overjoyed."
I grinned, a warm feeling came over me. "Of course. The child's name?" Cyrus pulled harder on my leg, as I bent down to pick him up in my arms. "Sorry, this one doesn't like to be ignored." Sebastian smiled knowingly. Cyrus buried his head into the crook of my neck, my hair covering him.
"His name is Cyrus Blake." And just like that, the warm feeling was gone, replaced by shock. My body froze up and my mind stopped processing everything. As if I had jumped into a frozen lake.
At the sound of his name, Cyrus turned his head from under my hair to look at the couple. The woman, Nicolette gasped, putting a hand to her lips to hold back a sob. "Oh, my darling baby boy!" She exclaimed, reaching out to take him from me. But Cyrus pulled back violently and tightened his grip on me, with a loud and clear 'NO.'
Startled, Sebastian looked at me, while Nicolette glared at me. Her lips pursing together. "Perhaps...we should go sit down and talk." I said, as I let them towards a table bench in the field.
--
"And so, I took him with me, and I have been taking care of him since then." I had just finished explaining how I had come across Cyrus. "He eats all his meals, and is becoming more and more active and curious each day. Though he's still wary of other people, he's just started smiling to a couple friends of mine. It's progress, at least."
"Did you not think about how you would be able to survive with a child? You're only, 19? 20? Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility. And comes with many expenses." Sebastian clasped his hands together on the table, his eyes on Cyrus who refused to come out from under my hair.
"Yes, I did think about that. In fact, it was the first thing I thought about. But, after we had come here, and spent more and more time together. I realized how much this boys happiness meant to me. He would never smile, or laugh. He didn't want to play. Only sit and stare at things. And I felt that, if I gave him away, or gave him to someone else, it might potentially damage his growth. Or his mind. It would scar him. And I couldn't put a child through that." I took a breath, my hand unconsciously stroking his head. "He's become such a big part of my life, that I-...I feel like he's almost becoming my own...child. A-and I mean no disrespect to you two!" I said quickly. "But, he's family now. Stella, Taylor, Joshua and even Dominick have all fallen in love with him, and they find joy in the little things he does as I do. When he smiles, they can't help but smile. When he manages to read a sentence by himself, they're as overjoyed as I am."
"I see. But, you did know that one day someone would come looking for him. Did you not?" He asked, curiously.
I nodded. "I did. In fact, I always expected every day for you two to come. Though it was still a shock. And I'm h-happy to give him back to you. His real family. Because you two can take care of him in ways that I can't. You can give him toys, and brand new clothing. Feed him better meals, and take him to more suitable schooling places. You can make him happy in ways I cannot. Because you can afford what I cannot." I tried to smile, but my lip quivered, as I bit down hard on it. I wouldn't cry.
"Sebastian, this is ridiculous." Nicolette's cold voice rang out. "Look, we've found Cyrus, so let's just take him and leave already. It's bad enough that he's becoming attached to a woman who is nothing to him! It's ridiculous!" She turned to me, her eyes sharp and cruel. "It was wrong of you to take this child for yourself. You can't take care of him. Ever. You can't give this child what he needs like we can. Now, give him back to us."
"She made me promise." The words slipped from my mouth, as my grip on Cyrus tightened a bit.
Her face contorted. "Who?"
"His mother. I tried to save her when she was dying, but she told me. No, she made me promise that I would take care of him."
Nicolette's face grew into a sneer, as she spat out. "Don't you dare talk about my daughter. You and her are in completely different worlds, girl. Now give me my grandson. " Nicolette reached forward, and pulled Cyrus from me. Cyrus immediately reacted kicking and crying.
"No! Nonono!" He cried out as Nicolette tried to hold him in her arms, as he squirmed to get out. "Gia!" I sat there, my head bent, as I let the tears fall free. My heart hurting so bad.
"Bye, Cyrus." I looked up and tried to smile. Cyrus had slowly his struggling and looked at me with a face full of tears, a hand reaching out to me. "Giai!"
Sebastian watched this all with calculating eyes. He walked with his wife back to their car. I followed behind, watching Cyrus look back at me, his hand still reached out. His mouth forming the word 'no' and 'Gia.'
Before they got in the car, Nicolette snapped the necklace off Cyrus and threw it to the ground. She sneered at me, before getting in the car. Sebastian got in next, his eyes never leaving me. Even as he pulled away, and started down the road, I watched them before collapsing to the ground, sobbing, taking the necklace in my hands.
Arms wrapped around me. "Am I-...Am I not allowed to keep anything in my life? Is everything that means the most to me supposed to be ripped away from me? Why?" I choked out, as Taylor tightened his hold around me, pulled me into his lap and rocked me back and forth.
"I'm so sorry, Gia. I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss him too." He pressed his cheek against my head, my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. "This is life, Gia. Cherish the time you and Cyrus had together. Keep those memories close to your heart. Who knows, maybe one day you'll meet again." I sobbed harder, my grip tightened on the pendant, as it dug painfully into my skin.
--
Taylor helped me walk back to the daycare, after 20 minutes of crying my eyes out. Before we went in, he turned me to face him, and wiped my face with the sleeves of his shirt. A ghost of a smile on his lips. "Remember what I told you. Keep the memories close to your heart. Okay?" He cupped my cheek with his hand, and I instinctively leaned into his touch. "Now, come on. Joshua has probably let the kids run free with you gone. Or they've already tied him up and are doing a pow-wow dance around him." I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips. The pendant beat against my chest as I walked, it's presence familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.
"Oh thank god, Gia. I don't know how you do it. These kids ar-" He turned around, taking in my presence, with Taylor's arm around my shoulders. "Where's Cyrus?" He asked, his head cocked to the side. Then his eyes widened in realization. "That couple, they were-" I nodded, a weak smile on my lips.
"Oh man. I'm sorry, Gia." Joshua came forward and hugged me close to him, as I leaned against him, sighing. Keep the memories of Cyrus close to my heart. Keep them close. Keep them close. I repeated over and over in my head.
"So, what were you saying with the kids?" I asked, trying to distract myself.
Joshua pulled back. "Well, I thought it'd be a good idea to give them some paint, but then one kid smeared it on another kid, and then world war three broke out. I had to separate each kid, and quickly gather all the paint. They started ganging up on me. It was scary, Gee. Kids are scary."
I rolled my eyes. "Looks like Taylor was right. We got back in time before they tied you up and did a pow-wow." I looked to Taylor and he grinned, then tapped the side of his forehead, mouthing the word 'psychic'. "Come on, let's clean them all up for dinner. Taylor, you have dinner all set?" I asked, as I went to the sink, and started filling it up with warm, soapy water and lots of face cloths. "Joshua, can you gather up all the paint supplies, and put them in the cupboard above the coat rack? Cyrus, come he-..." I broke off. Looking behind me, Joshua and Taylor looked away from me. "Damn it." I mumbled. Turning around, all the kids were looking at me. "Alright children, I want you to line up behind me okay? We gotta get you guys cleaned up! You're all so messy. I hope you at least got some of the paint on the papers!" I said in a teasing, singsong voice. The kids rang out with answers as I tried to distract myself from my mistake.
One by one, I got the children cleaned up, and sitting back at their tables. After the last child was paint free, I emptied the sink and threw the facecloths in the hamper under the sink. Joshua had left to help Taylor bring dinner back. Sitting down, my fingers touched the pendant, and I twirled it.
"Who's hungry?!" Taylor came in, with a wheeling cart with covered platters. Joshua not far behind him with plates and cutlery. The scent of mac and cheese wafting around us, but I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel much of anything.
--
By the time we had every child fed, my shift was over, and a woman named Janet had come to take my spot. We exchanged pleasantries, as she took over the night shift. Joshua and Taylor followed me out, before I turned around. "Is it okay if I have some time alone? Today has been a bit crazy for me, and I just need to think for a bit." They both nodded, and stayed back while I walked away.
Instead of going back to my tent, where I would be haunted by memories of Cyrus, I walked past it, down the paths. Night had already fallen, so it was completely dark. The pathways near pitch black, if it were not for the solar lamps staked into the ground on either side of the path. After winding, and switching paths a couple times, I came across the lake. A man-made one, but a lake nonetheless. I got off the path, and trekked through the trees. I'd done it so many times that I was able to get through without falling or losing my sense of direction. When I broke the edge of the forest, the ledge of the cliff was feet from where I was standing.
I walked forward and sat down, dangling my legs over the edge of the cliff. Below me was the lake, and I could see all the solar lights twinkling on the main paths. Almost like they were stars. Here, I could see the stars. No harsh city lights competed with their brilliance. It felt as if I was almost back in Galiano. My island.
Falling backwards, I placed my hands on my stomach, thinking back to a memory. It was one from two years ago. We were all in the forest clearing, having a bonfire, though it had gone out long ago, none of us bothered to add more firewood. It was a mid-summer, warm evening. The stars overhead twinkling with brilliance as the 1 a.m. moon started to dominate the sky. We had all laid down on the ground. Natalie had her head on Callum's chest, and I had mine on his legs on the other side. Callum has his head on Joshua's legs, as Joshua had his hand holding mine lightly. Andy was draped across Natalie's stomach, and Alex's head was on my abdomen, my other hand running through her silky hair.
"I don't think I could ever leave this place." Callum said, his voice low. As if we were children staying up late when our parents told us to go to sleep.
"It's home." Natalie sighed.
"You guys can't leave either, okay? I don't know what I'd do if you all weren't here." Callum said with all seriousness.
Alex scoffed. "There goes my plan of backpacking in Europe and becoming the world's dictator."
"Aw man. I was totally going to go visit my relatives in Japan." Joshua fake cried.
"Oh shut up." Callum laughed.
"Remember what Ms. Karla was talking about? That place called Eden? In the bible?" Andy asked.
"Uh, yeah. But I don't believe any of it. How can you have every single plant and flower in one place?" Joshua replied.
"And what about that whole Eve was born from Adam's rib? I mean, that's totally sexist. For all we know, it was Adam that was born of Eve’s rib. But they didn't want women to rule the world so they wrote it the other way." Natalie pouted, as we all laughed.
"Oh god, women ruling the world. Even as a girl, that’s a scary thought." Alex shuddered, and it reverberated to me, and I couldn't help but laugh, her head moving with the movement. "Geez, Gee. Stop laughing. This feels weird." And that just made it harder to stop. Alex turned around and put a hand over my mouth. "Shhh." I bit back a laugh, and smiled into her hand. She removed it, and laid back down.
"You guys aren't getting the point of my question!" Andy sighed dramatically. "What I'm trying to say is this place is our Eden. Our garden of paradise. We have everything we need here. Everything we want. There really isn't any reason why we should leave. I'm not talking about the religious aspects of it. Because, none of us are religious or believe in anything other than the ocean deity. But the island is big enough that we have colleges here, and schools. And career choices. Be it doctor, beautician, teacher-"
"Stripper." We all paused. "What? Who doesn't know of that little strip club on the top floor of the Alexis building." Callum said, grinning.
"Boys." Natalie and I sighed together, before giggling.
"So, this place is our Eden. Our garden of paradise." I pondered, my hand running through Alex's hair again. "I like the sound of it. Really. We are born and raised on this island. Our parents were born and raised on this island. Our grand-parents and great grand-parents were born, raised and died on this island. Generations of family have seen and help make Galiano what it is today."
"We're the children of Eden. The children of the garden of paradise. And the ocean deity protects us." Andy said.
"Of course the ocean deity protects us. She's in our blood. We're born of her." Natalie said.
"Yes, yes, Natalie. No need to shove your expert swimming skills in our faces. Now hush up." Joshua threw a stick at her, and I could hear it bounce off of her with an 'ow'.
"But what happens if we do leave?" I asked, my hand falling still on Alex's head. She reached up, and took it in hers, playing with my fingers. She held my hand up to hers, Alex's hand was bigger and her fingers were longer than mine.
"Nothing." Andy replied.
"I think what Andy means is that nothing will happen, because this will always be home. Should we all leave right now, and fly across the world to different locations. Leave for five, ten, thirty, fifty years, we can always come back because it's home." Callum explained. "This garden will never be destroyed." He said with finality.
"Good. Because I plan on growing old with you guys. And I mean, old as in wheelchair old. And when we're all in wheelchairs, we'll roll around town, taking up the sidewalks and force the younger people to walk on the road." Natalie said, and you could hear the smile on her face.
"And we'll all hang out together, watching infomercials, and old movies. We'll be the coolest group in the old peoples home." I grinned.
"We'll even go and get tattoos because we're old and people hate saying no to old people." Andy said.
"Then, we'll sit in a diner with our wheelchairs, and try to eat the food without our dentures falling out." Joshua laughed out.
"And use our senior discounts at all the stores, and pretend we're hard at hearing so they repeat it over and over again." Callum laughed maniacally.
"And then we'll....die." A long paused followed Alex's comment. Before I smacked my hands to her face.
"Such a Debby downer, Alex!" I smacked her face lightly with each word. "You. Need. To. Lighten. Up. Deb. By." She growled at me, and flipped over, throwing her entire weight on me. Her hands on my sides, as she started tickling the skin there. My reaction was instantaneous. Laughter ripped from my throat as I tried to squirm away.
"Huh? What's that? I can't hear you over how sexy I am." She said, pressing herself down on me, her tickling getting worse, as I was laughing until tears started to appear, pleas of 'stop' on my lips, but couldn't' get past the laughter.
"Alex!" Natalie rolled and jumped up, knocking Andy to the ground and jumped on Alex. Andy sighed, mumbling something about how he was comfy. Natalie gripped onto Alex's back, and she pretended to be a dog by shaking her off. Andy knelt down where we were laying and started petting Alex.
"A-are you...petting me?!" Alex sputtered out incredulously, pausing.
Andy cocked his head and looked at her, before patting her again. "Good girl." Alex roared, and attacked Andy, as I rolled out from underneath her. Callum crawled backwards on the grass to escape the fray, while I hid behind Joshua who was sitting on the ground, looking through his phone.
"I'm not a dog!" Alex yelled, and ran after Andy, with Natalie still clinging to her back, her hair flying.
"Hard to believe we're sixteen years old." I mumbled, leaning up against Joshua.
"What's the fun in growing up?" Joshua asked, grinning, the LED of his cell phone lighting up his face. Callum crawled over collapsing on my lap.
"Remember these times, Gia. For all you know, the world could end tomorrow, and these would be your last memories. Make them count." Callum yawned, stretching and nuzzling his head into my lap.
"GIANNA!" Startled, I broke from my reverie, to find myself back in present time, with a face looming over mine. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up to find Dominick staring at me with a raised eyebrow. "Ah. She's alive."
"Sorry. Got lost in thought." I said, as he took a seat next to me. "How'd you find me?"
"What? You think I don't know this is your favorite spot to come to? I've seen you up here before. And I figure this is where you'd be after Joshua and Taylor told me what happened." He passed me the bottle of water he was holding, and I took a sip.
"I see. I'm going to miss him." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know if I can handle having things that are so precious to me be ripped away."
"I'm sorry that they took Cyrus away with such...force, and finality. They could have at least let him visit you once in a while. That would make the loss a bit more bearable. But, I'm not going to sugar-coat things, Gianna. When you lost your mother, it took you a while, but you found the strength to continue on. When you thought you lost all your friends, you found the strength to continue on, and held onto the hope that you'll find them. So, now that Cyrus has been taken from you, you need to find that strength that I know is in there, and keep walking. He's still alive, Gee. Remember that. But you need to remember these times. The world could end tomorrow. Make every memory and moment count." I couldn't stop the laugh from bubbling out. "What?" Dominick asked.
"Callum said the exact same thing a couple years ago. Is this a sign?"
"Only if you want it to be." He replied.
--
Dominick and I stayed on the ledge for a bit, not really talking but watching the stars in the lake. Twinkling like a second sky. When I caught one star fly across the sky, I closed my eyes tightly. 'I wish that my heart will be whole again.' I thought.
"Come on. Let's get going. It's getting late, and you should get some sleep." Dominick got up, patting off his jeans, and held out a hand to me. I gripped it and pulled myself up, dusting off my shorts. The moon had already traveled quite far across the sky, and the stars had danced across.
Dominick led me back to the tents, and stopped as we reached mine. "You're going to be okay, Gia. You're stronger than this." He smiled. "Look, I'm going into the city tomorrow. Did you want to come with me? Stella's coming."
I snorted. "Of course she would be." He pretended not to hear me.
"We'll just be doing some sight-seeing, and such. It's my first day off in weeks, so I really want to get back into the city for a bit. Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good?" He asked.
I sighed. "Sure, I'll come. You'll know where to find me when you two are ready to go." Dominick nodded, before ruffling my hair and wandering away.
Turning my heel, I wandered back into the field, heading towards the showers. In the women's, they kept it supplied with towels, and complimentary shampoos and conditioners. Usually so late at night, no one would be in here. So I found it an opportune time to shower without worrying about others being in here with me. I entered the building, and shut the door firmly. By the lockers were changing rooms, and benches. I proceeded to strip and grab a towel off the shelves above the small lockers. I wrapped it around me, as I looked at myself in the mirror. My once silky and large honey brown hair was hanging flat around me. Dark circles under my eyes, and my skin pale. My skin pulled tight against my bones. The anemia was causing this. The constant tiredness, being cold all the time. As I looked at the girl who I was in the mirror, I wondered where the girl I used to be was.
"Died back on the island." I muttered to myself before going around to each of the 8 stalls, and turning the water all the way on and up to hot. Thick, billowing clouds of fog already started to fill the room. Draping my towel on the outside of the last stall, I entered, closing the flimsy plastic curtain behind me, letting the hot water wash over me. I stood under it, the water washing over my face as I pushed my hair back. I rubbed my face, as if I could rub away the circles under my eyes. And I washed my body down with soap as if I could wash away the paleness of my once radiant, glowing, youthful skin. You've seen death firsthand, it's written on your face. And it's not something that can be washed off so easily. The passing words of a woman walking past me one day said. "She's crazy. Crazy. Chill out, Gia." I said to myself as I rubbed my face harder.
After I shampooed and conditioned my hair, I sat down on the floor. The water beating against my back, and sliding onto my face and then dripping down. 'I wish I could drown in this shower. Succumb to the heat, and feel something other than this wretched loneliness anymore.' I thought to myself. 'But you have Joshua. You have one piece of yourself back. But you lost another in the process. Gain one, lose one. Equivalent exchange.'
Sighing, I got up, and proceeded to turn off every shower head, and walk back to the change room. I looked at myself in the mirror. The vigorous rubbing of my face had brought color back to it, and the hot water making my skin red and pink on areas. As if I were flushed. Alex's starlight necklace glittered against my chest.