Give Me Your Heart

15: Figure It Out

“Hey, you’ve reached Riley. I’m not able to get to the phone right now…”

Gerard sighed a little at the sound of Riley’s voicemail message. It wasn’t the first time, since their ‘almost’ moment, three days had passed, but still Riley was avoiding his calls, something which didn’t surprise the defender, even if it did irk him slightly, he wasn’t at all surprised that Riley was blanking him.

Letting the message run through, he listened to the high pitched sound of the beep before he spared another sigh. “Riley, please call me. I’ve left more than one message now and it is start to get stupid. I know I messed up, but we need to talk. You know that you can’t avoid it forever” he mumbled “I’m sorry, Riley, I overstepped and I shouldn’t have done but if you could…please just call me, Riley” he sighed before he hung up, padding into the locker room which seemed to be humming with chatter.

Sparing the phone in his hand another gander, he shook his head quietly before he padded towards his locker, stowing the phone at the bottom of it. He wasn’t expecting a call, if he knew one thing about Riley it was that when she wanted to be, she could be awfully stubborn, but still he held out a little hope. Whether they were on the best terms or not, they were still having a baby together and that meant, no matter how much she may have wanted to, Riley couldn’t avoid him forever.

“Are you done having secret phone calls, Gerard?” Neymar teased “Anyone would think you’re trying to hide something” he added, offering the defender a grin.

“I’m not hiding anything” Gerard quipped “I just didn’t want my conversation to feature you lot yelling in the background. It’s was a private call” he added, offering the best smile he could muster.

“Oh, a private call” Luis Suarez grinned “Someone we can’t know about?” he added.

“It was just Riley” Gerard quipped, shaking his head a little “I needed to talk to her about something and I had to leave a message. My phone calls are really not that fascinating” he added, his tone wavering a little.

Luis and Neymar offered the defender a small look before they excused themselves from the room, leaving Gerard to get changed.

Lionel, who’d been stood in the door way, watched the last of their teammates depart before he stepped into the room, padding towards Gerard who shook his head a little as the argentine stepped into his eye line. “Please, save it” he mumbled.

Lionel shook his head. “Not a chance, Gerard” he quipped “There’s something up with you, there has been for the last few days, and I am not the only one to notice. What’s going on, Gerard?” he posed gently, taking a seat on the bench which sat ahead of the defender’s locker. He knew that there was something on his mind, for a couple of days, his usual chirpiness had appeared a little forced, and Lionel wanted to ensure that everything was alright. The last thing he wanted was for Gerard to make things any worse between him and Riley before the baby came along.

Gerard, who’d moved to pull on his shorts, shook his head. “Leo…”

“Please, Gerard, let’s skip the part where you tell me nothing’s up. I’ve known you for a while and I think I know when you’re lying” the argentine interjected, offering him a mildly unimpressed look.

Gerard studied the expression on his face before he let out a sigh, moving to sit at his side. “I fucked up” he mumbled “I went to Riley’s midwife appointment the other day and then I went back to her place. We were talking and we got onto the topic of Alexa and then inevitably our breakup. She was insisting that we were both to blame and then I…I tried to kiss her” he mumbled, shaking his head a little.

Lionel mulled the defender’s words over for a moment before he lifted his hand, hitting it against the back of Gerard’s head.

“What the hell?” Gerard spluttered, his hand rubbing at the back of his head.

“What part of be careful did you not understand?” Lionel muttered.

Gerard shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Lionel. “You cannot mess her around, Gerard” he muttered “It’s not fair, not to Riley or to Alexa. If you had even the slightest inkling that you were not over Riley, then there is no way…”

“She wanted to break up with me too” Gerard interjected “Riley agreed with me, our relationship wasn’t quite working and so we decided to end things. It wasn’t like I just stopped caring about her” he snapped, his blue eyes glancing towards the argentine.

Lionel shook his head a little. “You still love her?” he posed, his tone softening a little.

“I don’t know” Gerard mumbled.

“Do you love Alexa?” Lionel enquired.

Gerard shook his head. “She’s a nice girl, despite what you all seem to think of her, but I don’t know that I am in love with her. It doesn’t feel like it did when I was with Riley” he admitted gently.

Lionel offered him a look before he reached a hand out, patting his shoulder softly. “You need to figure it out, hombre” he mumbled softly “Even if you do decide that you want to be with Alexa, you need to be certain. It’s not fair on anyone if you keep messing them both around, but most of all, it is not fair on bump if you and his or her madre aren’t talking. You can’t have it both ways, you can’t be with Riley and with Alexa, and you need to make the call sooner rather than later” he insisted gently.

“I know that” Gerard mused “It just…Riley didn’t want to be with me 2 months ago. I doubt much has changed” he refuted gently.

Lionel quirked a small grin. “I’ll admit, I’ve not seen her since you two broke up, but if the way she was before that is anything to go by, I don’t think there’s a problem. You said it yourself, you didn’t just stop caring about her and I doubt that she just stopped caring about you, amigo” he grinned before he pushed himself to his feet, excusing himself to join the training session they were supposed to be taking part in.

Gerard watched him go before he quietly nodded to himself, knowing that he needed to figure out what it was he wanted before he made things between him and Riley any worse.
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Thanks to FootieJo and Jayme112234 for the comments :)