Give Me Your Heart

Staring up at the ceiling above his head, Gerard pushed a hand back through his hair, a small sigh falling out of his mouth. It had been a long night, after he had walked out on Riley, he had found his way towards his parents’ hotel room for the night, but he had barely had a second’s sleep, his mind whirring with the fight that he and his girlfriend had had.

He hadn’t meant for it to become a fight, the last thing he wanted to do was cause a problem between the two of them, but when she had suggested that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to have a future with him, it had stung, causing him to overreact a little. It hadn’t been a surprise, when Riley had mentioned that she had found the ring catalogue, he’d known what was coming, but still it hurt him, even if he wasn’t surprised that Riley still wasn’t quite where he was, he had been hoping for a slightly better reception to the idea that he was thinking about proposing.

Sparing another a sigh, he shifted a little, attempting to get comfortable on the small couch before the sound of someone clearing their throat reached his ears, causing him to turn and peek up at his mother who stood in the door way, a frown on her face. “It is early, mama” he complained softly.

Montserrat shook her head. “You showed up here with no warning last night, Gerard” she countered “Do you not think I am owed some sort of explanation as to why my nearly 30 year old son showed up in the middle of the night?” she added as she stepped a little deeper into room. It had been a surprise, finding Gerard outside of her hotel room in the middle of the night, and she wanted to know what had happened, even if he wasn’t quite ready to talk about it, she wanted to know whether or not things between him and Riley were still repairable.

Gerard offered her a look before he sighed, sitting up a little. “I am thinking about proposing to Riley, mama” he noted softly.

Montserrat, who’d moved to sit beside him, tilted her head, her expression slightly surprised. “You are?” she posed.

Gerard nodded. “I am, or, at least I was” he mumbled, scratching his chin a little “I had a catalogue in my bag, I’ve been looking at engagement rings for a little while now, and Riley found when we were packing my stuff up yesterday. She got freaked out and we ended up having a fight about it. I didn’t mean to get annoyed with her but she’s just…she’s so uncertain of us, mama” he mumbled softly. It wasn’t a new thing, for a while, Riley had been a little less certain when it came to their relationship than him, but still it irked him, even if it wasn’t a surprise anymore, he merely wanted to hear her say that she knew what it was she wanted.

“That’s Riley” Montserrat mused softly “Gerard, she’s always been the same. She’s a little shier than you, a little more cautious…”

“And I know that” Gerard quipped, cutting her off “But I am not going to propose to her tomorrow, mama. I know she’s less certain about this than I am, and I am more than happy to wait, but she doesn’t even seem to know if she wants future with me. I know that that’s just her nature, she’s always been a little nervous and uncertain, but I needed something a little more. Was that wrong?” he posed gently. He knew that he had overreacted, from the second he had stepped out of Riley’s hotel room, he had regretted walking away like he had, but it had hurt him. He had merely wanted to hear that she had contemplated a future with him, that she’d thought about taking another step with him, and when she had failed to, it had stung him, something he couldn’t seem to shake.

Montserrat admired the soft look on his face before she shook her head, gently squeezing his shoulder. “You weren’t wrong” she murmured softly “You two have been together for a while now and you’re not wrong for expecting a little more from what you and Riley have, but do you think fighting and then walking away from her was the best way to handle it?” she posed softly.

Gerard shook his head. “I know it wasn’t” he murmured softly “I regretted it as soon as I had closed that door, but it hurt me, mama. I love her, mama, I do, but I don’t want to waste time on something which isn’t going anywhere. I’ve had to do a lot of convincing in this relationship and I worry, perhaps stupidly, that maybe I am not the guy she wants to be with” he added, his expression a little pained.

“Gerard…”

“We only ended up back together when we found out she was pregnant with Alex. Perhaps getting back together was naïve” he interjected.

“Gerard…”

“Riley’s not made this easy. Perhaps she doesn’t feel the same….”

“Gerard, you’re being silly” Montserrat cut in.

Gerard tilted his head, a small frown on his face.

“She loves you, Gerard” Montserrat noted softly “I can see it all over her face when she looks at you and I know you know that she loves you. OK, maybe she is a little uncertain, and maybe she should have handled your conversation last night better, but don’t doubt that that woman loves you, because we both know that she does” she insisted firmly.

Gerard mulled her words over for a moment before the sound of a knock at the door echoed, causing both him and his mother to glance towards it. “You know who that is going to be” Montserrat noted.

Gerard nodded. “It wouldn’t have taken her long to work out where I got to” he noted softly.

“Me and your papa will take Alex whilst the two of your talk” the older woman mused softly.

“Gracias” Gerard noted as he pushed himself to his feet, his blue eyes warily glancing towards the door.

Montserrat watched him for a second before she stepped towards him, squeezing his hand gently “Make sure that you sort this out, Gerard” she noted softly “We both know that she’s the best thing for you and I would hate to see you two mess this up. You’re good together” she enthused before she stepped away, allowing him to step towards the door.

Mulling his mother’s words over for a moment, Gerard took in a breath before he reached his hand out, pulling the door open to Riley who stood outside, Alexander in her arms. “Gerard” she breathed.

“We need to talk” Gerard noted softly.

Riley nodded her head. “We do” she noted softly “Do you want to go and grab coffee or something?” she added, her tone a little uncertain.

Gerard offered her a slightly uncertain look before he nodded his head, knowing that the conversation that they were due to have was a big one.