Give Me Your Heart

“Did you want me to get you something to eat?”

Riley, who was quietly stirring her mug of tea, lifted her head a little, her blue eyes landing on Gerard who sat opposite her. It had been quiet, since she’d arrived at his parents’ hotel room door, they’d barely said two words to one another, and it made Riley more than a little uncomfortable.

She had been expecting that it would be tense, after the way they’d left things the night before, it couldn’t have been anything but, but she wanted Gerard to make the first move, not entirely certain of what she wanted to say to him. She knew that she had hurt him, the look on his face the previous night had confided it, but still she wasn’t entirely certain of what she wanted to say to him, even if she was certain that she did want to put things right, she didn’t know what it was he wanted to hear from her.

“It’s OK” she noted gently “I ate earlier” she added.

Gerard nodded his head slightly before he leant back in his seat, a small sigh falling out of his mouth. “We need to talk, Ry” he mumbled softly “Last night was…it was a mess and we need to figure out what we’re going to do. If this is it…”

“I don’t want this to be it” Riley interjected softly, her eyes fixed on her hands.

“You don’t?” Gerard posed, his expression a little surprised. He knew that it was silly, until their fight the night before, he had had little doubt about her feelings towards him, but it was a relief to hear her say that she still wanted to be with him. A small part of him had been expecting that she had arranged to go out with him that morning merely to tell him that she wanted to put an end to things.

Riley offered him a small sheepish smile before she shook her head. “I like us, Gerard” she noted gently “I like how we’ve been since we got back together and I don’t want to end things. Last night was…it was a mess and I hate that it happened. I never meant to make you think that I doubted us” she insisted softly. She hated it, the idea that she had made him think that she doubted him, and she wanted to reassure him. Despite her uncertainty about the pace of their relationship, she knew that she wanted to be with him and she wanted him to know it too.

Gerard admired the small smile on her face for a moment before he shook his head, his hand gently moving to take hers. “You know I am not trying to push you into anything, right?” he posed softly.

Riley nodded. “I do” she murmured softly “And I knew it last night when I found that catalogue in your bag, but it scared me, Gerard. You’re so confident that this is what you want, so assured about it, and I worry that if we move too quickly, we’ll mess things up like we did last time” she explained softly, her fingers messing shyly with his.

Gerard glanced at her for a moment before he shook his head, a small sigh falling out of his mouth. “If we move to slowly, we run the risk of ruining it too, Ry” he murmured softly “I know you’re not looking to get married right now, I’ve known that for a while, but that’s not what this is about. I am not asking you to marry me tomorrow, I am asking you to tell me that that is something you want someday. I want to know that you think about the things I do, Ry, I want to know that there is a future for us” he insisted softly. He knew that she was hesitant, she had been since the topic of marriage had first arisen between them, but he wanted to hear her say that it was something which was on her radar. He wanted her to say that she was at least on the same page as he was, even if they did put it off for a while, he wanted to know that they were looking for the same thing.

Riley chewed on her lip for a moment before she spared a small sigh, something which caused him to scoff. “If you don’t want this, Riley, all you’ve got to do is say” he insisted firmly “I am not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, but I am tired of this. I know you’re hesitant, I like that you’re shier and less certain than me, but there is only so many times I can go around in this circle with you. I don’t want to keep playing this game, nena” he added, his expression softening a little.

Riley eyed the look on his face, not missing how vulnerable he looked, before she quirked a small smile. “I think about it too” she mused.

Gerard, who’d flicked his attention to their hands, tilted his head. “What?” he posed.

“A future” Riley mused softly “I think about it too, Gerard” she added.

“You do?” Gerard posed, an uncertain look on his face.

Riley quirked a small smile before she nodded her head, her hand gently squeezing his. “I think about moving forwards with you. I think about one day getting married and us maybe giving Alex a little brother or sister, and just because I don’t want to do it right now, doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it all. I know what you want, you’ve been clear, and I wasn’t clear last night. I do want everything you do, I just…we’re good, Gerard, and I don’t necessarily see the need to run into the next thing. We can take our time” she insisted softly. She knew what he wanted, for a little while, he had been hinting at the idea of moving their relationship on a little, but Riley wanted to hold off for a little while, even if she did want the same things he did, she merely wanted to enjoy where they were for a little longer.

Gerard, who was looking at their hands, was quiet for a moment before he ducked down, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. “That’s all I needed to hear” he mumbled softly.

Riley’s cheeks warmed a little before she leant forwards, kissing his cheek softly. “I’m sorry for last night, you know” she noted softly “I should have just…”

“Talked to me?” Gerard interjected with a half-smile “Yeah, you should have done, but it’s a trait of yours. You’re a worrier, Ry, and whilst it frustrates the hell out of me, I guess it is merely something I am going to have to learn to love” he added.

Riley spared a small bashful laugh before she pressed another kiss against his cheek. “I love you, you know” she murmured softly.

Gerard quirked a small grin before he mumbled the same words in return. He knew that it was going to take a little while to get over, the fight that they had had was quiet substantial, but he wanted to at least try and move forwards, not wanting to let go of a relationship that he and Riley had spent a lot of time trying to get right.