Like Humans Do

We were messy in the way that others would consider abstract art; all lines and mismatched shapes that somehow led to something beautifully underrated. There’s nothing about us that ever should have worked, the quiet of a library mixed with the chaos of a rock concert, the illuminated beauty of a skyline at dawn combined with the darkened roughness of a backwoods road. But somehow we just fit, like the way that the last two puzzle pieces fit together so perfectly to complete a picture.

Every time she walked into the room I felt all of the air seep out of my lungs, forcing me to struggle just to catch a breath. I felt my organs catch fire every time she glanced my way, the tiny smirk that was always spread across her lips begging for me to challenge her. I could feel her pulling me in, contracting my muscles in the most painful way, urging me to move closer to her with every step I took. Her skin felt like electricity against mine, currents coursing through my veins and to my heart, quickening the pace of the muscle with every lub dub.

She walked through the door, the keys in her hand jingling as her opening sequence, and I restrained every fiber in my body that begged me to rush over and wrap my arms around her. My knuckles whitened as they clutched the side of the chair that I was sitting in and my leg bounced up and down, vibrating with anticipation. She turned towards me, her signature smirk planted on her lips, and winked at me before turning and walking towards the kitchen.

I shot up from the chair that was holding me down as she walked away and cleared my throat, catching her attention and making her pause, looking back at me with a curious expression on her face.

“I love you,” I said simply, my voice wavering slightly as the words tumbled out. She turned around and put her hands on her hips, tilting her head to the side to accommodate the smile that was spreading across her lips.

“Yeah, why’s that?” she asked with laughter lacing its way around the words. This wasn’t the first time that we had this conversation, and I knew she was expecting me to stumble over my words, grasping at anything I could find, while she stood there and waited, shaking her head when she realized that I would fall short of her expectations yet again.

“Do you remember when you were little and your mom would warn you about boys?” I started, capturing her attention with every word. She nodded, the features of her face betraying her thoughts as her eyebrows furrowed together, waiting for me to go on.

“She probably said that boys would make your life messy, right? That we were no good because we would cause too many problems,” I took a step closer to her, our bodies almost pressed together as she looked up at me, still clearly confused about where I was going with this.

“We make each other messy, babe,” I took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together, and she said “I’m not sure that’s a good thing.” Now it was my turn to laugh.

“It’s the type of love that a knife has for a heart, all blood and pain and sliced open skin, until you’re only left with a giant mess and a hollow shell of a person,” she was looking at me like I was crazy, “but through all of that blood and pain, you realize that everything happens because you’re a human, and you realize that it’s really beautiful.”

“I love you like a human loves another human, with screaming matches and awkward silences. With pain and suffering and hatred, which can be replaced with love and happiness and light in the blink of an eye. I love you in a way that doesn’t make any sense, but is the perfect way for us, two humans, who can somehow navigate the world together.”

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me and I had never felt so alive; senses heightening and nerves on fire. I could feel her body shaking slightly and I leaned back, moving her so I could see her face and realized she was laughing.

“I just poured my heart out to you and you laugh at me?” I asked, trying to remain serious but the laughter coming from the girl in front of me was contagious. Our laughs mixed together, creating a melody that floated through the air and echoed above us.

“Honestly, how long did it take you to think of that?” her laughter had died down now and she leaned against me, her head on his shoulder. I wrapped his arms around her and rested my chin on top of her head.

“Only a few days, I’ve been trying to find the perfect moment to casually bring it up in conversation.”

She snorted, “yeah, that was really casual.”

She stepped away from me and walked towards the kitchen, resuming whatever it was she was doing before I interrupted her with my grand gesture. I made my way back to the chair and sat down, listening to the clanging of metal as she moved pots and pans around, undoubtedly looking for something to eat. Everything got quiet a few moments later and I strained my ears, trying to hear what she was doing.

She moved through the doorway, stopping to lean against it as she looked at me, a cold piece of pizza wrapped in a napkin in her hands. She took a bite, chewing slowly, and I raised my eyebrow as I watched her, not sure why she had decided to walk out just to eat her dinner. As she finished chewing, she walked over to me and sat on the arm of the chair, the smile taking over her face yet again.

“Oh, right, by the way. I love you too.”