Enmeshment

"No! No! Let go off me! Don't! No! Stop! Stop! Nooooo!"

"Hey hey hey! Hey it's all right. It was just nightmare, it's alright!" Eric woke me up from my sleep. I was sweating and panted uncontrollably. Eric poured a glass of water and I took a big gulp. My body was trembling, shaking, and teeth clenching so hard. "Hey hey! Nobody gonna hurt. Okay? Not when I'm around!" Eric promised me and he pulled me closer to him. I hugged him tightly and his warm body calmed my nerves down. "It's okay..." He whispered. "You should go back to bed. It's still three in the morning."

I laid down back to my bed and tucked myself in under the blanket. Eric got up from the edge of the bed and about to headed to the couch. "Wait..." I grabbed his hand. "Uhm... Uh... Sorry..." and then I saw his palm were bruised from punching Jack. "Your hands..." I rubbed his knuckles.

"No big deal!" He then dropped himself at the carpet on the floor that placed beside the left side of the bed and laid his back against the bed frame. "You go back to sleep. I'll stay here!"

I curled myself and moved closer to the edge of the bed. I slowly put my hand on his shoulder and he glanced at me before hold my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his beating heart. I held his hand tighter and he turned around to see me. His other hand slowly made his way to my hair and caressing me. We were looking to each other before he moved closer to me and gently planted a kiss. His touch immediately washed away all the anxiety I had tonight. My hand made my way to his neck and slowly pulled him closer to me and I kissed him back. He circled his thumb over my heated cheek and we were staring at each other again. I thought I'd never need anyone more than anything before. I need him. I need Eric.



I curled myself under the blanket that I covered it up to my nose when I heard birds chirping outside the window. I took along breath and sighed when I felt someone was caressing me from behind. I slowly rolled around to see Eric was sitting at the edge of the bed and a half smile was covered his face.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning," I replied with a smile as I got up and now hugged my own legs.

"How's your feeling today?" he asked and I just shrugged not sure what to say to him. I felt scared, tired, betrayed, and everything because I couldn't believe what Jack did to me last night. If Eric wasn't there I couldn't imagine what will happened to me.

"You hungry?" He took my hand and strokes my upper hand with his thumb.

"Uhm... Not really..." But then small growled coming from my stomach and making me blushed in embarrassment. Eric chuckled a little and he stood up. "Come, let's get you something to eat!" He offered me his hand and I grabbed him as I got up from bed following him to the center of his apartment. There was a small dining table with two plates full with food. I took a seat as Eric took another one in front of me.

"You made this?" There were omelets, bacon and sausages, toast, and a cup of milk tea that I would be very surprised if Eric did cook all of this.

"What? You think I don't cook!?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

"You did!?"

"Nah! I told the kitchen crew to bring some food here," he smirked and it made me chuckle for tricking me.

Eric finished his breakfast in an instant while I just ate half of my meal. I played around with my food because I didn't feel like to eat while the memory from last night still coming into my head.

"Hey..." Eric held my hand that placed freely on the table. "What's on your mind?" He concerned.

I sighed, "I uhm..." My mind was full with thought about myself back in the same room, or worse stay at the same dorm with Jack after what happened. I didn't think I could do that anymore. I didn't know if I should report this to Max or no. Jack was one of Dauntless top initiates, I was afraid that I'd be the one who got blame and then end up threw out from the compound.

I didn't realize I was frowning and almost cry again until Eric moved his chair closer to me. "Don't worry about that. I'll make sure he won't get near you ever again!" He said like he already knew what was on my mind. I nodded softly and I squeezed his hand tightly.

I sat in the couch while Eric cleaned up the table and leaving the dishes into the sink before joining me. I made myself close to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Eric used to be the scariest person I knew in Dauntless, but now I was here in his apartment with him who was the only one who washed away my scares. We were there in silent for a while until I realized I was late to go to the gym this morning.

"I need to go the gym!" I got up from the couch but Eric held my hand before I could take a step.

"You don't need to go practice today. Just have some rest."

"B-but about my attendees list?"

"Don't worry about that!"

"Four will be looking for me..."

"I already told Louisa to tell him that you're sick from last night game and should stay in the infirmary!"

"W-what if he come to the infirmary and find out that I wasn't there?"

"If he has a problem with that then he can deal with me! Now can you go back sit here? I don't like you talking about that number boy. I'm sick of him!"

I went back and sat next to Eric who was now looked a little pissed-off after I brought Four in our conversation. "What's wrong with you and Four?" I just want to know why he held so much grunge over him but Eric exhaled harshly. I knew he dislike talking about this. "Never mind. It's ok we don't need to talk about him," I smiled and the intensity on his face slowly fade away.

I noticed Eric's sketchbook placed on the side table. "Can I see that again?" He looked at the direction I pointed. He took the sketchbook and handed it to me. I took my time checking the pages one by one since I didn't have to be scared that Eric will get mad because I was checking his stuff like I did the first time I was in his apartment. I noticed most of his drawings had me as the main focus and he finally he finished the sketch that I saw before. "You sketch me in all of your drawings..." I looked up to see him but he just sat silent. "How long?"

"Since you made the second jump following the stiff."

"That long?"

"But that son of a bitch always stick with you like a goldfish poo, and it gets on my nerves!" I sighed and frowned when he referred to Jack and it reminds me with what happened last night. "I shouldn't brought that back."

I shook and rested my hand on his shoulder, "it's okay..." I got up from the couch and wondering around his apartment, checking on the books he had in his bookshelf. Eric had a few weird and scientific books that I didn't even understand what it was about. "You were an Erudite?" I asked and he just gave me a hummed.

Eric stood and walked towards me. "I need to see Max. I have things to do right now," he held my hand. "Are you sure it's ok for you to stay here alone?" I nodded. Eric then went to his bed to pick up his jacket and he walked to the front door with me following him. "Just have some rest, ok?" I nodded again before he kissed me and left his apartment.



I was half asleep waiting for Eric to come back home when I heard someone was talking in the living room. I slowly got up from bed and stood behind the curtain that divided the room and the living room, and then I saw Eric was talking with someone over his holographic communication device.

"Yes ma'am! I assure you that so far everything's under control," he stopped and listening to the person over. I couldn't hear or see whom he was talking to. "Don't worry ma'am, I keep my eyes very closely on it." I took a step closer and I saw he was talking to Jeanine Matthews. I recognized her from the Choosing Ceremony. What was an Erudite leader wants from Eric? I took a step forward and Eric noticed me.

"Roxy?"

"Who is it?" asked Jeanine when she heard Eric said my name.

He turned around and faced the opposite direction of me. "I'll contact you as soon as possible ma'am," Eric then turned off the device before Jeanine could reply anything. "Hey, did I wake you up?" He turned back and walked closer to me.

"Is that Jeanine Matthews? The Erudite leader, right?" I asked and he tensed. "What she wants from you?"

"It's nothing. Just asking about the job Dauntless did so far," he answered as he placed both of his hands on my shoulders.

"What job? Why she wants to know? And why she had to call you in the middle of the night?" I didn't jealous or anything, I just found out it was a little weird for a leader from another faction called him late at night and not contact Max instead tomorrow morning.

"None of your concern. It's nothing important!" Eric didn't like me asking him too many questions and my concerned showed up in my face but he gave a little peck on my lips when he saw me frowning. "You better get back to sleep."

"You're not?"

"I have to go back to the field."

"Right now? It's almost midnight. Why? To see Jeanine?"

"Ok you know what? I'll stay with you tonight," said Eric. He seemed to have an urgency to go back to his job but seemed like he didn't want me to have an assumption or anything that made suspicious between him and Jeanine. He wrapped his arms around me and picked up made me squealed in shock. He kissed me and made his way slowly back to bed. Eric gently placed me onto the mattress as he deepened the kiss. My heart pounding in anticipation when his hand tried to sneak in under my shirt and slowly pulled it up as he kissed the side of my hip. Thoughts about Jack forced himself to me straightly came back and I unaware pushed him, jumped back and covered myself with a pillow. His eyes wondered for a result of my action.

"S-sorry... I didn't mean to push you... I... I'm..." I stuttered and buried my face to the pillow not wanting him to see a wreck part of me again. I didn't dare to see him, I was afraid that he would mad at me because I rejected him but I didn't mean to do that. I was just still scared. I felt the bed was moving and Eric was now sitting next to me and he tried to cup my cheek.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's not you... It's me... I'm... I'm not ready yet..."

He gave me a very sincere smile that I've never ever seen from him before, "It's okay... I'll wait..." I looked at him still felt a bit ashamed but then he kissed my temple and brought me closer to him as I hugged him tightly.



Warmth feeling from the sunshine that came from outside the window brushed my face as I opened my eyes and realized Eric's arm was wrapped around me the whole night. I curled and made myself closer. I rested my head onto his chest and listening to his heartbeat that somehow calmed me down. I looked up to see Eric was still sleeping though tense showed up in his face like he never relax even when he closed his eyes. I stroked his cheek and moved to his lips before got up to kiss his forehead that made his piercing twitched a little. I slowly got up from the bed not wanting to wake him up. I made my way to his refrigerator, there was already prepared battered in a bottle. I picked it up and made some pancakes for breakfast and I also heated the water in the stove.

"Why don't you wake me up?" I turned around to see Eric stood a few feet away rubbing his eyebrows.

"I thought maybe you can have some more sleep," I smiled at him as he approached me and kissed my cheek.

"You made that?" He pointed the plates full with food on the dining table.

"What? You think I don't cook?" I smirked copying his line yesterday morning.

"Never think of it," he teased.

"Ha!" I stick my tongue out and he laughed. I never seen he laughed genuinely like that, not that mocking laugh that he always did to the initiates during training.

He took a seat as I made hot chocolate for both of us. He started to eat as I took a seat in front of him. I didn't realize that I was staring at him until he looked up to see me. "Are you gonna eat that?"

"Huh?" I was confused but then he stick his fork to a slice of pancake on my plate and took a bite. "Hey! That's mine!" I tried to reach his hand but he backed away, raised his eyebrows teasing me and made me smirk.

We finished our breakfast and I cleaned up the dishes before Eric came to me with the smallest jacket that he could find inside his closet on his hand. "Ready to go to the gym today?" He asked and I nodded after took a deep breath.

We went to the gym and parted our ways right when both of us entered the room. I went to my friends and joined them. "Hey I didn't see you yesterday after game night," said Tris.

"I was sick. Again." I lied and tried to fake a chuckled. I thought maybe it was best not telling them anything about what happened between Jack and I at game night. "Where is Jen anyway?" I asked when I couldn't find her anywhere

"There she is!" Tris pointed to Jen who just arrived at the gym.

"Hey!" Jen greeted everyone. "Where were you yesterday?" she asked me. I was getting tired to lie to my friends. Besides, I couldn't say to Jen that I stayed at Eric's place because her twin brother attacked me, so I didn't say anything and just shrugged instead.

"Anyway, have you seen Jack? He also didn't come home. I'm getting worried now!" said Jen.

"He wasn't with us when zip-lining, was he?" asked Al.

"Did he also get injured? Did he with you at the infirmary?" asked Will.

"I-I don't know. I didn't get to check around..." I was also wondering the same. Where is Jack now? Did Jack didn't make it? I mean Eric beat him pretty bad but I was sure he was alive when we left the building.

"Dammit Jack! Ok I'll go to the infirmary later" said Jen.

Not long after that Four arrived and he joined Eric. They led us to the scoreboard. Eric acknowledges me but he didn't bother to talk to me. I was getting used with him treated me like that in front of everyone else, he didn't want anybody knew about us. "Listen up! If you're ranked above the red line, you'll move on to the second stage of training. If you're below it, we'll waste no more time on you. Here are your rankings!" told Eric.

Our names were coming one by one in the scoreboard. 1. Edward, 2. Peter, 3. Uriah, 4. Will, and then I saw my name at number five. I was super happy knowing I was now at the top five. Names kept coming and Tris successfully landed above the red line because of her great job at the war game but Molly scoffed in the background.

"How am I ranked lower than her!?" She gestured to Tris, Christina and I who ranked higher than Molly. "I beat them in minutes!"

"Yeah? And? Your point being?" Smug Four.

"I should be ranked above them!"

"If you intend on a high rank you shouldn't make it a habit to lose to lower opponents," said Four straightly.

Molly glared at us, and then she left the gym back to the dorm. Will and Christina slapped hands. "Top five Roxy! Nice job!" said Christina as Will hugged Tris afterward. "Look at you Tris, you've made it!" He grinned at her.

"Still might not have been good enough…" Answered Tris anxiously.

"Don't worry, it will be. We should celebrate!" Said Will.

My friends were too excited about Tris finally made through to the next stage. They were too happy to notice that Jack's name wasn't up there. Jen starred at the scoreboard and she was so confused before running out from the gym. I looked at Eric, signaling him to told me something, explained me something. But he just starred at me so I walked toward him but he also started to walk outside of the gym. I faster my walk and grabbed his hand before he got out.

"What happened to him?" I asked. "Is he… dead?"

"No, but I wish!"

"Eric, seriously! What the hell happened?"

"I kicked him out of Dauntless," he told me bluntly.

"W-what?"

"He's factionless now and I promised you that he will never ever get a chance to touch you again!"

I was a bit relieved knowing that Jack would never be ever near me but I didn't expected that Eric will kicked him out from the compound. I thought when he said that he would take care of it; maybe Jack would get a punishment or something. "W-what should I say to Jen? She's worried about her brother…"

"Told her that she should be thankful that I don't kill her stupid fucking ass brother!"