Enmeshment

My friends and I were hanging in the Pit like usual. It's been three days I was avoiding Eric. I kept surrounding myself around my friends since I knew Eric had too much pride to come and tried to talk to me when everyone was around. I caught him staring at me with tension and his jaw tightened, probably holding whatever feeling he was holding. I always turned my face away immediately because seeing and avoiding him would also be hard for me to do. I kept wondering what he was doing when I wasn't around. Never in my mind not talking to him would killing me like this but Eric been crossing the line. He was being overly protective and he would eliminate anything that was trying to hurt me.

In this time like this, Jen was the one who would cheer me up but she still had her own problem, her brother, who got kicked out by Eric. My problem and me would be the last thing on her mind right now. I knew I supposed to comfort her but every time I saw her, images of Jack attacking me always coming back and now I didn't really talk much to her. Other than Jen, Tris was the one who knew about Eric and I, well my other friends already suspected something especially Christina but I never clearly said yes or denied it.

I was distracted when suddenly a fight happened not so far from where we were sitting. My friends stood up to get a better view, curious about who was fighting. I also got up and tiptoed trying to see from over Al's shoulder since he was tall compared to myself.

"What!? What the fuck are you staring huh!?" The man cussing at a group of man and I realized it was no other than Eric. "Who do you think you are!?"

"Uhm Eric we didn't mean that... We uhm..." One of them bravely steps up and talked to him. Uriah was one among them and he stood behind the guy.

"Then why you acted like a fucking asshole!" Eric pushed him but the man who looked like a few years older than me didn't really show fear despite Eric is his leader and his other friends slowly took a step back.

"We don't want any trouble, Eric," he said as calmed as possible. "We're just talking in here."

"Talking, ha!? My ear catches different kind of talking! Say it! Fucking says it in front of my face if you have balls in you!" Eric pushed him again but this time the guy pushed him back and immediately led to a fistfight.

Everyone in the Pit started gathered around them and cheering. Fight like this actually pretty common in the Pit but they never see a leader especially Eric fight down here. Blood started to spill from both of them but none of them wanted to stop. I wanted them to stop. I couldn't stand seeing Eric covered with blood like that. Stop just stop. Stop. "Stop!" Unaware that my voice came out so loud and made a lot of people staring at me. Eric who was on top of the guy stopped hitting and he looked up to see me. He was panting and I looked away to the ground for not knowing what to do and feeling embarrassed after I yelled at them to stop. But suddenly the cheer came back and I looked up to see the guy was fighting Eric back. Both of them didn't want to stop until Four and Max showed up with other guards. Four grabbed the guy back, while two other guards held Eric. He was powerful even when two guys trying to held him.

"What the hell is going on in here!?" Shouted Max.

Eric was pushing forward trying to reach the guy who was held by Four but he stopped when Max blocked him. Eric could just blow Max but he is a faction leader, his position is the top, higher than Eric probably the reason he didn't punch Max. "Leaders shouldn't be in a fight like that!" Said Max and Eric frowning and narrowing his eyes. His lips shut tight as he clenched his jaw again and again. "Care to explain to me?" Asked Max but Eric struggled to release his arms from the guard and walked out from the Pit after he glanced at me for a few seconds. "Ok dismiss everyone!" Said Max and people started scattering around away from the scene.

My friends and I were back to where we were sitting before. "Wow never thought Eric would do that!" Said Will.

"Oh come on Will he's a douche! Remember when he made me hanging in the Chasm?"

"Yeah I mean he always taunting us but I always thought he's a rational person not a hot head like that. Last time I saw him losing his temper, when he fought Jack when we ran around the city and it obviously because Jack couldn't stay away from Roxy," stated Will and Jen turned sour again after he mentioned her brother, as I did the same.

"Anyway have you heard anything about your brother?" Asked Al and Jen slowly shook her head. "Is he got cut?"

"Jack was in the top five. Even when he screwed up at game night he still saves. Beside he didn't come back home and nobody knows where he is. I asked Four but he said he didn't know anything which is I know he lied. I don't dare asking Eric..." said Jen and I gulped nervously. Tris eyed on me and I could feel she was starting to know that I knew about Jack but she didn't ask me.

"I'm sure he's fine. Maybe he got an early assignment and had to leave the compound without anybody knowing. I mean Jack is really good at almost everything, right?" Said Will trying to comforted Jen.

She smiled a little, "well I hope so."

"Well why don't we go to the cafeteria. Jen needs some dauntless cake!" Said Christina and they were all agreed.

They got up from their seats, "you're not coming?" Asked Al when he saw me sit still.

"I'll catch you guys later," I said.

"Okay!" He nodded. "Come on Tris!" Tris hadn't moved a step.

"You guys go. I'll stay with Roxy for a bit," answered Tris and four of them left the Pit to the cafeteria. Tris then sat beside me and I knew she would say something. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't dare acting clueless in front of me! I know you and Eric are having something and that something happened and he channeling it to everyone. Four said he caused a lot of trouble in the past two days."

"Ok ok! I've been avoiding him since..." I paused and Tris eyed on me. "Remember when I got a call after Edward incident?" Tris nodded. "Eric tracked down my parents' killer and he found him. The man almost killed me but Eric saved me, and he uhm... He uhm... He killed the man even though he knew he had a daughter who stayed inside the same room when his father got killed..." My voice started to crack. "What he did reminds me with what I was experienced when I was a kid..."

"That's awful… But he saved you?"

"Y-yes... I know he was just trying to save me. Just keeping me save but I don't know... I don't exactly know what I feel..."

"He just wants you to be save. That's all I can think of," replied Tris.

"You don't think it's wrong?" I asked and she shrugged.

"I don't know. I still can't like Eric. What if he just doesn't like you hanging around with us anymore and then one day he decided to wipe us all?"

"He wouldn't do that!" I shouted but then I shut too quickly that made Tris suspecting something. "Well actually uhm…"

"What?"

"Eric is the one who kicked Jack out of Dauntless, along with a Dauntless-born girl who I don't know her name."

"What!?" Tris raised her voice and shut his mouth with my hand. "What the fuck? Eric can't do that! Why? Just because he was jealous at Jack?"

"Actually… the dauntless girl tried to kill me. She pushed me over the Chasm and Jack… Jack, he uhm…"

"What did he do?"

"Jack tried to raped me…"

"He what!? God I can't believe that! And Jen?"

"She doesn't know about this. I can't tell her. I don't know. I just can't…"

"I don't like saying this but once a stiff always a stiff," said Tris and I shrugged. "Oh wow, this is a lot for me, Roxy," she added.

"You think what Eric did is ok?

"It's Eric. Don't get me wrong Roxy. He might be saved you a couple of time but I still don't trust him. This time he saved you from the bad guy, but who knows what happened next? He's toxic Roxy. Never know what's going on inside his head. You probably think you know him, but... Hmm..." She shrugged again. "This enmeshing toxic relationship is not healthy." I sighed. I hated when Tris lectured me like that, I didn't know since when she gave me this relationship advice like Christina somehow influenced her a lot. But she had a point.

Not long after that Uriah and the guy who beat up Eric walked toward us. "Hey!" Greeted Uriah and we waved him back. "Thank God you screamed him to stop or my brother's face will unrecognizable right now," he chuckled followed by a punched on his arm by the one who Uriah called him brother.

"I don't like seeing blood that didn't need to be spilled," I answered.

"Still, I thank you for that. I'm Ezekiel, but call me Zeke," he extended his hand in front of me and I shook him.

"Roxy," I replied.

"Yeah I know who you are," he replied.

"Uriah told you?" I glanced at his younger brother.

"Nope, not really," he smirked.

"Anyway, what did you guys say that made him furious like that?" Asked Tris.

"We were just talking. Well you know boys thing, until Zeke mentioned you!" Uriah pointed at me. "And not aware that Eric could hear us and he snapped when he heard us talking about you."

"My friend Gabe over there," he pointed to a guy from his group, "just said that you're pretty," he said to me making me frowned uncomfortably. "But that sums it up. Guess the rumor is true then," said Zeke smirking at me. "You and Eric, together?" He asked and I didn't reply him.

"Why don't we go to the cafeteria now? They must be waiting for us," said Tris as she got up and wiped away the dirt from her pants. I stood up. "You guys wanna come?" Asked Tris to Zeke and Uriah.

"Nah we're good. Catch you guys later!" Waved Uriah.

Both of us walked to the cafeteria in silent until Tris brought back the subject. "See! You heard him. Even Eric gone mad just because someone was talking about you!" I glanced at Tris but I didn't want to argue with her right now so I kept silent until we reached the cafeteria.

Our friends waved at us and we went to their table. That was when I saw Eric sat a few tables away from us and he tried to fix his own wounds. I knew he didn't want everyone to see him as a weakling and always refused to seek other people's help. I remember he kept pushed Louisa, the nurse, away when I surprisingly made a cut on his forehead and broke his nose at the gym. My feet unconsciously walked toward him until Tris grabbed my wrist and shook her head. "He can take care of himself!" She whispered. "Don't come back to him again. Now sit Roxy."

I looked at him a couple of times before deciding to sit down. I couldn't stop not to glanced at him several times before Eric realized I was staring at him and our eyes met. I turned away and staring at the ketchup bottle in front of me before glancing back at him. His eyes fixed on me and my cheeks started to heat up again.

Suddenly Max shouted from the middle of the cafeteria, "stage two. When your combat skill will no longer useful. Your mind will take control of it. If you're a coward, you don't belong here. We will find that out," he said as he circled around from tables to tables. "In the fear landscape, we will be watching to see who you really are! Good luck!" And he went outside with some other guards.

All initiates that I knew were starting to get nervous including myself. "So, it's tomorrow, is it?" asked Al and we all nodded in unison. "Stage two really creeps me out."

"We better have some rest for tomorrow," said Will as he grabbed Christina's hand and they walked out from the cafeteria following by Jen and Al. While Tris was approached by Four and they left alone. I looked back to see Eric but he was nowhere to be found.