Enmeshment

I was standing in front of Eric's apartment not sure what I was doing. I couldn't talk to my friends, not when Al was suspicious because Peter made him. Tori warned me about not let anyone knew about my special condition that I didn't feel special at all if you felt that you could die anytime soon. Four obviously told me to kept it to myself and shouldn't tell Eric about this then why am I doing in front of his apartment waiting for him to come out. I walked back and forth, sometimes I stopped and stomped my foot before continue walking back and forth again. I already decided to leave when I heard the sound of the key being unlocked, and there he was standing in front of his apartment.

"Roxy?" He was surprised to see me standing in front of him.

"I… I am a-about to leave..." I walked away but Eric grabbed my hand.

"Wait!" I stopped but didn't turn around to see him. "Don't avoiding me," he whispered.

"I c-can't, don't wanna talk to you right now!" I pulled my hand off of him.

"Then why standing in front of my apartment?" My eyes stuck to the floor when he asked me. "Something's bothering you?" He grabbed my hand again and this time I didn't pull away. I turned around and he frowned when he saw my worry face. "Come in!" He pulled me inside when he saw someone was coming.

I stood a few feet away from the door, trying not to be inside his apartment further more. "I shouldn't be in here..." I walked back to open the door but Eric blocked my way. "Eric, step away please..."

"No! Not until you look at me." My eyes kept staring on the floor. "I know you're not completely agree with the way I handled my job, but..."

"I don't!" I cut him. "Now please can I go now? It was a mistake for me to come here."

"Am I also a mistake? Is that how you feel about me now?" I keep in silent. His words shut me up. "Look at me. Roxy, look at me!" I slowly looked up to meet his eyes. "Tell me you don't want me around you again, then I'll do that. I won't bother you again..."

My eyes started to watery and my vision blurred so I kept blinking my eyes before looked straight into the floor again. "N-no..." I whispered and I hate that I was about to cry. I didn't like showing it. Eric touched my chin to face him back. His eyes were softened and I could never look away from those eyes. He pecked my lips and I kissed him back. It was wrong. I knew it wrong. I should've stay away from Eric like Tris said but it was too late. It was too late to do that now. My feelings for him was growing and growing day by day.

"You forgive me?" He whispered in my ear. "If I tried to change myself, will you forgive me?" I wasn't really known how I felt right now so I just sealed his question with a kiss. Eric swipes away my hair that covered half of my face and tugged it over my ear. He strokes my cheek with his thumb while his eyes piercing through my eyes. "So what's bothering you?"

Then suddenly I remembered the reason I came to his apartment. I wanted to ask him about the simulation but how should I start? Where should I start without making him suspicious that I was, probably, still not really sure, a Divergent?

"Uh... It's uhm..." I backed and walked away from him. I was wondering around his living room looking for something to say.

"Roxy? What's wrong?"

"It's about my simulation." Reality strikes that I shouldn't brought it bluntly like this.

"I wanna talk to you the same." He walked closer and my eyes looking at every direction other than his eyes. "You did good!"

"W-what?" Surprised by his words. "I m-mean, thank you... You've seen my result?" And he carefully nodded.

"You happened to be the second person who've done it fast. Even Peter finished it in eight minutes. You're great!" He said. He didn't seem suspicious with me finished fast but I wasn't sure about it. "I am surprised about the stiff though. Three minutes? Nobody have ever done it that fast!" His eyes narrowed. He was suspecting Tris. "Did she tell you something about this?" Tris actually told me everything but I shook my head as normal as possible, trying not to make him thinking something was going on. "Anyway what you want to talk about your sim?"

"Uhm I… Uh… It's a… I j-just wanna ask if you have any tips?"

"Tips?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah..." I walked away from him. "Any tips for me to passed this fear simulation?" It was the only reason I could give to him, and I just wished he didn't suspicious. Honestly I actually need help how to solved the simulation without manipulating it. I need to pass it or they would kill me.

"You're a natural. Why would you want any tips from me?"

"I don't know... Uhm... The first two weren't that bad but I'm afraid what will come after this. If there's anything that can help me pass the final test... I don't know maybe you can help?" He didn't reply instantly yet he crossed him arms and thinking about it. "Or maybe not... I know I shouldn't ask you for this, you already helped me a lot before. I better get back to my dorm..."

"No wait!" He grabbed my hand before I could walk to the door. "I'll help you practice."

"You would? H-how?"

"Come, let's go to the simulation room." We walked out from his apartment and someone was cleared his throat right when Eric was locking his apartment door. "Max? You need anything?" He asked.

"Your presence needed right now," He glanced at me before looking at Eric again.

"Right now?" Asked Eric.

"Yes!" He nodded.

"Ok. I'll go there later," answered Eric.

"She wants you to be there now," told Max and Eric sighed sharply.

"Ok!" answered Eric again.

"Sir?" I speak. Eric turned around to see me. "About the job offer, sir…" I gulped seeing Max was not really friendly today, and I stupidly hadn't report or say anything to him. I was too upset with Eric and this entire Divergent thing made me forgot about the job that Max offered me.

"Good to have you in our team," said Max and I was confused because I was pretty sure didn't give him my answer yet. "Eric told me you gave us an answer, and it is a yes. Correct me if I'm wrong?" He saw my blankness and I looked at Eric who clearly wanted me to say my agreement to his decision.

"Y-yes sir I accept it. My apologize for not report it to you as soon as possible."

"You can start under Eric's supervision right away!"

"Yes sir!" I nodded and Max left the alley and Eric smirked at me. "Why you answer him for me?"

"If I said to him that you accepted the offer that you can start working with me. Just strategy to get you closer to me," he told me.

"Nice move…" I nudged his elbow. "Anyway, whom is the person Max talked about?"

"You're going to meet her since you're officially part of my team now. But I think we have to postpone your simulation training with me."

"It's ok. I mean if this meeting is important, my training can wait."

"Good then! Let's go!"

"What kind of team, am I joined exactly? I thought I'll be in a field intel," I asked but Eric didn't answer me.



We were using one of the jeeps to driving us to the location where Eric would be meeting with someone. It turned out that we were headed to Erudite headquarters. Eric drove the jeep to the side of the building and entered the back section of the compound. We both got out from the vehicle and I followed Eric inside the building. Erudite headquarters was so much different from Dauntless or Abnegation. It building was covered in glass, and filled with white color that made it so clean.

I didn't know why we were going to Erudite. What business does Eric have with this faction, but I didn't ask him. We were going to the top floor after the security let us through when he saw Eric. He was hesitant to let me passed him but Eric said that I was with him.

Right after we arrived at the top of the building, another security stopped us. "Sorry you can't come in," said the security to me.

"She's with me!" Eric told him harshly.

"She's not on the list. I can't let her through."

Eric loses his patience, like he always did every time someone didn't follow what he orders them to do. Eric took my hand he walked forward to the hall door but the security blocked his way and pushed Eric back a little.

"Get your fucking hand off of me!"

"Sorry sir. I can't let you pass it," answered the security. He might be smaller than Eric but didn't scare at him.

Eric pushed him back and he pinned the security to the wall. The other one pointed his gun to Eric so I jumped at him and punched his face. Another security grabbed me from behind but I managed to throw him over my shoulder. The one who I just punched about to shoot but I grabbed his hand. I struggled to grab the gun from his hand but it fired to the ceiling. Eric quickly helped me and released me from the grip of the security. He pushed him to the wall and knocked him in an instant.

"What's going on in here!?" A woman's voice shouted from the end of the hallway. I turned around and I saw she was Jeanine Matthews.

I tidied up my uniform as Eric stood up right beside me. Jeanine walked closer to us with her assistants and bodyguards following her from behind. She stopped right in front of me and examined me from bottom to top. I held my breath, not showing fear from her intimidation gesture.

"Ma'am," said Eric as he nodded at her.

"Who is she?" She asked Eric. "Are you a transfer?" She talked before Eric could reply her. "I think I saw you in the Choosing Ceremony."

"Yes ma'am," I answered.

"And what purposed are you doing in here?"

"I uhm… I…"

"She's with me ma'am. She's a new addition to our team," told Eric.

"How long?" she asked. "How long she's in?"

"Uhm… a day," he answered.

Jeanine scoffed, "she stays outside."

"But ma'am…"

"It's an order Eric!" She raised her voice.

I held Eric's hand and Jeanine took a glanced at me. "It's ok, I'll just stay here. I'll wait until you're done."

Eric's eyes were looking at every direction. He always did that when he was thinking. "Ok. I'll be quick. Just don't go anywhere." I nodded and he left entering the hall with Jeanine and her sidekicks.

I sat in the sofa in the waiting room in the same floor, waiting for Eric. Eric said he'd be quick but honestly it was already more than an hour I've been sitting here waiting for him to come out. I started wondering around and looking outside the window. I was thinking to have a conversation with the security to kill some time but Eric and I just beat the crap out of them, so I took back my idea.

I got back to the sofa and read a book that I found on the bookshelf in the waiting room. Like other Erudite type of books that I read back in Eric's apartment, this one was also heavy to read. Though I kind of like it. When I was reading the book, thought about Eric told Jeanine that I was a new addition to the team suddenly confused me. What did he means with addition to the team? I hadn't an official Dauntless members yet. Did he mean another kind of team? And what was with Dauntless and Erudite having a meeting? Didn't Candor, Amity, and Abnegation supposed to be here? And why Eric? If Jeanine wanted to discuss something, she should talk with Max, right? Since he was the faction leader. I shook my head over and over again and closed the book. All this thoughts making me dizzy, so I just laid my head onto the sofa.

Two hours after he went inside the hall, Eric came out. I got up from my seat and approached him. Jeanine stood inside the hall while Eric was standing beside the door. "Remember where's your loyalty lies, Eric." That was the only thing I heard before she closed the door.

Eric turned around and he saw me. "Sorry it takes time."

"Is there a problem?" I asked.

"What? No!" He tried to smile at me but he couldn't hide the frowned in between his eyes.

I rubbed the center of his forehead in between his eyebrows, "Then wipe away that frown from your face!" He smirked. "What's the meeting is all about?" I asked him, just couldn't help my curiosity.

"Just a regular thing."

"Regular thing?"

"Well you know, what kind of new weapon that Erudite technology can give to Dauntless. Any security devices. Things like that," he explained. I nodded though I still didn't satisfied with his answer. "Come on, let's go home."




We were riding back home and Eric still couldn't let his frustration face off of his face. "Eric are you sure everything's alright?"

"Could you stop asking me questions!?"

"Ok whatever! I just worried about you, that's all. I shut my mouth then." I crossed my hands around over my chest and leaned against the jeep door.

"I didn't mean to snap at you. I just fucked up."

"Then talk to me. Maybe I can help you." He didn't answer. "Eric?" I caressed his back and he suddenly stopped the jeep in the middle of the empty street.

Eric swiftly moved his body and he cupped my cheek. He brought me closer to him and he kissed me. His other hand pulled my back and it made our bodies bumped to one another. He slowly made his way to my neck and bit the skin before going back to my lips. I could feel anxiety from the way he kissed me.

"E-Eric…" I stuttered. "Y-you ok?" I thought to myself if there something happened in the meeting that made him like this. New technologies must not be the topic for today's meeting.

He stopped when he could feel that I was shaking. He brushed away my hair and kissed me gently. "We should go back. We still have time for you to practice the sim."

"It can wait."

"No! You need to practice right away. I won't let you fail!"