Enmeshment

Amity's leader, Johanna, was kind enough to let us stay in their compound. Jeanine's message about Divergent plotting to attack Abnegation was all over the city. My hatred toward that woman was growing every second. I turned bitter and still couldn't accept the fact about Eric. Tris sometimes gave a face but she didn't say 'I told you so' to me directly. I wanted to get out all the anger I had inside but couldn't do anything in this peaceful place and it was the only thing Johanna asked from us, no violence. I tried so hard not to fight Peter every time he picked on us.

I was helping out the farmers harvesting their crops when Peter approached me with Caleb following him from behind. "Hey, do you think maybe we can contact your boyfriend and surrender ourselves?" Peter stood leaning on a shovel. "I mean Tris was the one they're looking for, right?"

"I will never do that!" I replied without seeing his face.

"Oh come on! Who knows maybe Jeanine will give us a great position for turned them over. Besides we are not Divergent!" I looked at him in anger and disbelief before going back to the potatoes I was harvesting. "Wait! Don't you say that you're also one of them!?"

"You should shut your filthy mouth!"

"Fuck! I'm with two Divergents. I can't believe you are that good!" He smirked and I frowned. "You made Eric your boyfriend so you can save your own ass!" He laughed and I was done with him.

I jumped and laid a fist on his face. Peter fell to the ground and I punched him. He turned me over and pinned me to the ground. I kicked and I threw him away. I rushed back to him and I was about to hit him with a shovel when Caleb held me back. I got up and was about to punch Caleb but he backed away and hands were up in the air.

"Please... Please don't do this. Johanna will kick us out from Amity if you violated the rules," he begged.

I panted and then tried to calm myself down when I saw other Amity farmers were now watching us scarily. I scoffed and threw the shovel to the ground. Peter cursed at me but I didn't bother. I continued my work and Peter walked away from the farm. Caleb stood next to me helping me out with the crops.

"M-maybe what he said is a good point," Caleb stuttered.

"Not you too Caleb!"

"No, no! Listen... He said one of the Dauntless leaders is your boyfriend. Maybe he will do something? Can he? I mean I, we don't do anything."

"Nor your sister! Did you hear what you just say?" I frowned. "You're willing to sacrifice your family to save yourself? I'm an orphan. If I could do something to have them back, I'd do anything!"

"I... I don't mean..."

"You still have your sister. You should've taken care of her! My friends are my family now. I won't give them to Jeanine so she could do whatever she will do to us! Besides Eric… he… I'm not sure about him…"

Caleb couldn't say anything and my work was finally done. I took the basket to one of the farmers and I walked back to the main building. I saw Tris and Four were lining up for lunch, so I joined them.

"You cut your hair?" I said when I saw she had a pixie cut now.

"You look like a mess!" She said when she saw me covered in dirt.

"Peter..." I answered and she just rolled her eyes as I grabbed a plate and joined the rest of the group lining up for food.

"Go with happiness," The man said to me after he scoops some food into my plate.

"I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing," said Tris.

"It's just the way they are," I said.

"Yes, it's the Amity way. Just try to blend in," said Four.

"I'm trying to blend in, but it's just not working," she replied.

"You don't know how much I'm sick trying to hold my fist against Peter, but here we are stuck in this place for a while," I added.

Seconds later I heard Peter was cutting the line and he eventually right behind us. "Pathological offendedness along without questioning passivity," Peter smirked. "I love this place!" He extended his hand asking for the woman to scoop him some food. "Thank you. Go with happiness!" Peter sneaked in between Tris and I. "Hey Tris, I really like your hair by the way. Did you try to cut it all short and weird?"

"Hey, Peter why don't you take your food and sit down," warned Four.

"Or what?"

"Cut it off, guys! Don't make a fucking scene!" I pushed Peter back from Four.

"Besides I think we all should stick together," said Peter as he walked beside me and tried to wrap his arm around my shoulder but I threw away his arm and walked faster to our table.

"Come on! I thought you like bad boys. I can be like him you know!" Teased Peter.

"Shut your mouth Peter or I swear..." I breathe. "Never mind, not worth it!"

"We should be friends now. You know that I'm always attracted to you but that damn Eric always kept his eyes on you. Man, I didn't want end up like your lover boy Jack!" I rolled my eyes and not saying anything, but it didn't make Peter stop. "But he's not here now. Don't you think maybe we can end up together? Since now that we are officially fugitive."

"Wait, what do you mean by officially fugitive?" Asked Caleb with his worry face.

"You don't know? You didn't tell Caleb?" Said Peter to Tris as we reached the table. "Yesterday Jeanine announces that the attack on Abnegation was organized by a group of renegade Divergent," Peter glanced at Tris and winked at me. "And their sympathizer" he looked at Four

"So they're blaming the whole thing on us?" Asked Caleb.

"And Jeanine needed a petition to the council so they could declare martial law," explained Four.

"And now she has one!" I said.

"Staying here at Amity is the best option for now. We need to keep an eye on the ground and find out where the rest of the Dauntless are," said Four.

"Then we can make a move!" I added. "We need to stop Jeanine!"

"We need to kill Jeanine!" corrected Tris in anger.

"I know. We're not ready yet," reasoned Four.

"Beatrice, you're not being serious are you?" Asked Caleb.

"No, I'm being serious! I'm not gonna stop until she's dead!"

"Jeanine is the only reason all of this things happen! We need to stop her before she wiped out all of us," I yelled.

"Maybe both of you but not us," teased Peter.

"You can't just go around and kill people..." replied Caleb.

"She's right! Listen to your sister. Tris, I think you should go to Erudite and kill Jeanine by yourself. You don't need to take us or her with you," Peter pointed at me. "She can live happy with me," he winked again and I made a disgusted look. "I'll also stay with Caleb so they don't kill him too!"

"What?" Tris tensed.

"C'mon you know. Just as you did to your parents," grinned Peter.

Suddenly Tris jumped from her chair and both of them fight in-between the table. Tris cut Peter's cheek with a table knife and then she threw the table and it made Peter fell to the ground with the table pushed down over him.

"Tris stop!" I blocked her from attacking Peter but she cut my forearm with a knife. Tris jumped over and about to punched Peter when Johanna shouted from the door.

"Stop!" Tris looked at her and Four held her up. "What do you think you're doing? My office now!"

I moved the table and helped Peter got up to his feet. This tension between us wasn't going to stop. We walked to Johanna's office that was located on the second floor right near the horses' barn.

We all gathered around in Johanna's office. Tris still couldn't wash away her angry face and I started to get mad at her for doing that. I've been holding myself not to cause a scene when everyone was around and now she just doing that in a second. I understand she lost her parents because of this. I didn't have any parents and I finally had someone I care about, Eric. But now that person was looking, hunting, and probably wanted us dead while Tris still has her brother and Four by her sides.

"Was I not clear that the terms of your sanctuary here include no violence?" Johanna started to talk.

"Well I can guarantee you that nothing like this will ever happen again," assured Four.

Tris kept pushing Johanna and they had a little argument in there. Four sometimes need to stop Tris for crossing the line and made us get kicked out from Amity. Suddenly someone was rushing upstairs and wanted to talk to Johanna.

A second later we heard a lot of heavy vehicles burst into the farm. I looked at the window and a bunch of Dauntless came into the farm full with weapons. I saw Max got out from one of the vehicles and then I saw Eric.

"Eric..." My heart sank to my stomach.

"Stay here and keep quiet!" Johanna then rushed downstairs to greeted Max and Eric.

We couldn't see or hear anything they talk downstairs but Four panicky moved away. "Eric is here, we need to move now. Come on!"

"Four, let me talk to him!" I said.

"What? No!" Protested Tris.

"Let me talk to him, please… I need to talk to him… I'm sure he won't hurt me," I said even though I wasn't really sure about that.

"We don't know that!" Refused Four.

"I have to talk to him. I wanna know why he's doing this!"

"You have to come with us. I won't leave you here!" Begged Tris and we looked to each other.

"We need to split up!" Said Four to Peter.

"Okay, yeah... Every man for himself," answered Peter and he suddenly shouted. "Hey, they're up here! Come on they're getting away!"

"Shit!" Cursed Four and he pushed Caleb and Tris out of the window. Tris looked hesitant to leave.

"Go, Tris, I'll catch up!" I said.

After they jumped down, Eric arrived at the second floor with two other guards. His eyes locked into my eyes and I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to say to him.

"Take him away!" He ordered the guards to take Peter downstairs while he walked closer to me after everyone back to the first floor. Leaving me alone with him. "Roxy…"

There he is. Standing in front of me. Suddenly my tongue-tied and I couldn't say anything. My breath was all over the place. I couldn't breathe normally.

Eric looked so serious. What is anger, disappointment, or maybe fear? I couldn't read his expression. I couldn't really tell which one he feels right now. He took a step forward to me and I took a step back.

"Stop!" I shouted and he halted.

"Why you left with them!?" He asked. His tone was so deep I could feel his emotion from where I was standing. "I ask you, Roxy! Why did you leave with them? I told you to stay in my room!" He talked so loud almost screaming at me.

I wanted to reply but my mouth felt numb. He was about to talk again but I gulped and cut him before he said anything. "I know!" And I stopped for a second. "I know everything. She told me everything!"

"What?" His face changed.

"You know what I mean! Jeanine! Jeanine told me everything about her plan. You get close to me so you can get more information for her..." I paused, waiting for him to reply but he didn't say anything. "Tell me it's a lie... It's all just a lie, right Eric?" I was shaking and desperately wanted him to say that it was a trick played by Jeanine. "Eric answer me!"

"Fuck!" He screamed. "Yes, it's the truth."

My heart sank. My heart beats faster than before. I almost choked on myself. "So... So everything we had just a big fucking lie!? Is it!?" I shouted again but he didn't answer.

Eric clenched his jaw. Looked like he was trying to hold whatever he held to not say anything to me. His face looked tenser than he was before. And I almost cry. My eyes started to water yet I tried my hardest not to cry since I already lost my hope. I kept saying to myself that Eric would never do something like that to me. But here we are now.

"Since when?" I asked. "Since when Eric!?" He looked straight at me but still silent. "Eric!"

"Since the second stage of training," he answered. I gasped and we were both staring in silent.

"Then take me. Take me to Jeanine but stop chasing my friends."

"Jeanine wants Divergents. She wants Tris. You're not one of them. It won't stop her from chasing after that stiff even after I brought you to her," said Eric bitterly.

"She will!" I told him confidently. "Oh yes, she will!"

He looked a bit confused at first but then his eyes widen. "You! You're one of them!? That's why you ran away!?" Eric was insanely surprised. Didn't Jeanine tell him about my condition? How could he don't know? He suddenly took out his some kind of device and pointed at my face. I leaned backward but the device made a sound "Divergent. 99%"

"Oh shit!" He cursed. "I know something was wrong, but I tried to convinced myself that you're not one of them! You fucking lie to me!? You trick me for helping you out all this time!?"

"Tricked you!? Lie to you!?" I screamed back. "You should see yourself before you say that thing to me!" I held my fist too tight yet I didn't feel hurt. "I even doubt that everything you did is to help me get through. You probably did that just to report it back to Jeanine!"

"No!" He cut me.

"No what!?" I shouted back. Eric opened his mouth but no word came out. But suddenly he drew his gun at me.

I stunned. "So you're gonna shoot me..." I gulped and he frowned. "Just do it if it makes you feel better Eric..."

He breathes heavily and his hands gripped the gun tighter. He pulled the safety and I took a deep long breath before taking my eyes closed. Ready to whatever decision Eric had in his mind.

BANG

A loud sound came from the gun buzzing in my ear. For a second I thought I was dead but Eric didn't shoot me. I turned around to see the bullet ended up in the wood wall next to me. My legs trembling but the adrenaline that rushed through my veins kept me stood still.

I looked back to Eric who now staring at the floor. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He made a long scream and banging the end of his gun onto the wall over and over again.

"E... Eric..." I walked closer when he calmed down. He was facing the wall so I couldn't see his face. "Eric..." I called him again.

"Why?" He talked and I stopped. "Why you make it hard for me?" He talked almost like a groaned. He turned around. "I have to follow order. Divergents need to be wiped out, but..." He stared at me. "You... Roxy you..."

He paused again. What is it, Eric? What words do you want to say? I wanted to ask but I couldn't say a word.

"Eric, is everything alright?" Suddenly I heard Max's voice coming from downstairs. "We heard a gunshot." I panicked but there was nothing I could do until Max finally reached the second floor. He looked a bit surprised to see me and then noticed the device on the floor that still showing my result. He picked up the device and smirked at me. "I cannot believe it. 99%? Jeanine will be pleased to know this!"

Max walked to Eric and he squeezed Eric's shoulder, "good job Eric!" and he smiled but Eric glared at him in coldness. "We better take you back to Erudite now." Max took my hand but Eric snapped his hand away from me. "What Eric? You have a problem?"

Eric clenched his jaw and his lips shut tight before he talked, "I'll handle her. You can leave now Max!"

"I don't think so, Eric. Considering your history with her." Max took a step closer but Eric blocked his way with his body. "Step aside Eric!"

"You better go now Max, before it gets ugly. I said I can handle it, or do you have any doubt about my loyalty? Jeanine will not like it, I assume."

"Listen, Eric, remember I am still your superior and.."

Max hadn't finished talking when in a sudden we all heard a blast coming from the woods. The air suddenly full with sounds of gunshots coming from Erudite guards and Dauntless soldiers.

"Sir!" an Erudite guard showed up from the stairs. "We find the fugitives. They're running away and in the woods right now."

"Shit!" Max headed to the stairs but he stopped before went downstairs. "You better take her to Jeanine, Eric!" and then he went away with the rest of the guards.

Right after Max and the guards left. Eric turned around to see me. "Eric, please don't…"

"They're gonna pay for this! They did this! If it wasn't because of that fucking stiff! If she keeps it down low, none of this will happen! Fuck them!" Eric ran downstairs

I immediately knew he was going to find Tris and Four. I tried to stop him but he slapped my hand and pushed me, making me smashed Johanna's desk. I wanted to go downstairs to chase him but I saw other guards walking upstairs. "Shit!" Eric wouldn't hurt me but the rest, and of course Max, wouldn't hesitate to capture me and bring me to Jeanine.

I got out from the same window that my friends escaped and carefully jumped to the ground. A guard noticed me but I knocked him down before he could shoot me. I took his gun and ran to the woods. I heard gunshots from before me and I hid behind the trees and moved forward by hiding from one tree to another bush. I saw Eric and other Dauntless were shooting Four, Tris, and Caleb, who were hiding in the woods but fortunately, they could escape by jumping into a moving train.

My relief wouldn't last long when someone noticed me and started to shoot me. I shot back and two guards were down. I ran and I saw another train moving from another direction. I kept up my pace to get on the moving train. The Dauntless members who were with Eric also saw me, and they started to catch me. Eric was also starting to shoot me and one of the bullets hit the side of my stomach. I stumbled but tried my hardest not to fell down. I turned my head and Eric recognized it was I.

"Stop! Stop!" He yelled and they confusedly stopped shooting.

I jumped into the moving train that took me to the city center. I looked at the wound on my stomach and it didn't hit the critical part but it hurts so badly and my vision was getting blurry. Images of Eric were flowing inside my mind. I laid my back against the metal wall of the train. My consciousness was fading slowly when I slightly saw someone coming from behind a crate before I passed out.

"Jack…"