Divided

Catherine helped me into bed and I let out a sigh of relief to be resting again. She sat on my bed and waited for me to explain.

“We were talking about gods,” I said, very tired. “He had a book and I looked up Bardawulf. The wolf in me stirred as if she were… aroused. I fainted and had a vision of him. He threatened that, if I did not worship and commune with him, he’d kill me.”

“Empty threat,” she said immediately.

I nodded. “That’s what Queen Lillian said. Anyway, it made me very ill.”

“I thought you were going for dinner and pocket dragons,” she said accusingly.

“I was,” I said. “But we got around to the topic of gods and the topic changed.” I shrugged. “I’m returning tomorrow, though.”

She smiled. “You like him, don’t you?”

I just shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“Uh-huh,” she smirked.

“Go to bed,” I said and she laughed.

“Good night, little cub.”

I smiled and yawned, falling asleep.

-

Why am I here? Surely this would only cause more pain…. I took a deep breath, though, and knocked on Elder Yovel’s door.

“Tetra,” he said with a smile. “I was waiting for you. Come in.”

I walked in and looked around. His hut was modest. He had the usual bed, bookshelf, and washing area. The only difference was a circular table in the middle of the room. It had a bowl with incense sticks that were currently putting off a heavy perfume. On one side of the table was a group of white tiles with black marks.

“Please sit,” he said and I did so.

“I didn’t know you took part in this,” I said, gesturing at the gypsy-like set up.

“It’s not like what the human gypsies do,” he said. He stared at me for a moment. “You spoke with Bardawulf.”

“Not exactly,” I said, rubbing my eyebrow. “I didn’t commune with him or anything. I had a vision but I’ve been told the threat of killing me is a lie.” He nodded. “What concerns me is… my wolf was aroused when I saw the picture. I-I heard he comes as an incubus. Even though he is not my god, could he…?”

“Impregnate you?” he asked and I nodded, biting my lip. He sighed. “You are a unique case, dear Tetra. You did not choose nor were you born into this life. That makes you easy prey for Bardawulf.”

I rubbed my eyes. “Why would the werewolves worship such a horrid god?”

“Please be civil when you speak of my father,” Elder Yovel whispered and my jaw dropped. “Yes. I am the result of such a pregnancy.”

“Forgive me,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to insult him. I just-”

He held his hand up to silence me. “I acknowledge the unpleasantness of his nature, dear Tetra. It is difficult to answer your question, though. Bardawulf can impregnate any female wolf, whether she worships him or not. However, you still worship God and you are clinging to your humanity. That gives you some protection.”

I groaned. “Is there any way I can protect myself completely?”

“Yes,” he whispered, “but it is something that shouldn’t be jumped into lightly.” I looked at him nervously. “You need to marry and lose your virtue.”

I bit my lower lip. “You mean… I have to lay with a man?”

“Yes, Tetra. But it can’t just be any man. For example, if you were to lay with someone like Theodore, you would still be at risk. Who you lay with must be your mate.”

“How will I know?” I whispered. “I’m scared, Elder Yovel.”

He reached over and held my hand. “I know you are and I will help you how I can. As for how you will know, it’s complicated as well. Wolves know who their mates are immediately. From what I’ve heard, it’s like that with elves and vampires. Humans, though, don’t know right away.” He thought for a moment. “Speak to Queen Lillian Greentree about this. She can explain it better for she experienced finding her love differently, too.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “If- How will I know if Bardawulf tries to impregnate me?”

“You will have a dream,” he answered. “I won’t tell you; I don’t want to influence it. Just focus on what you’re doing right now. I understand you’re going back to the palace?” I nodded. “Speak to the queen of mates. She can help you more than I can.”

“Thank you,” I said and stood up.

I walked to the palace, my head buzzing with what I have learned over the last 24 hours. I was right. Going to Elder Yovel just brought more pain and worry. Before I realized where I was, I walked right into the palace doors.

“Ow,” I groaned, stumbling back.

The doors opened and Queen Lillian stood there, staring at me.

“Tetra? What are you doing on the ground? Did you knock?”

I laughed a little. “It depends. Do you count running into the door as knocking?”

She laughed, too. “Are you all right?”

“C-Could I speak to you before I go to the library?” I asked timidly.

“Certainly. Jacob is in lesson anyway,” she said and led me to a private sitting room. “What’s bothering you?”

“I talked to Elder Yovel this morning,” I said quietly. “We spoke of Bardawulf.” Her eyes narrowed. “Apparently, he can impregnate me. I-I am a prime choice because of my heritage.”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” she admitted. “At least, not last night; you were too terrified.”

“Well, he said that I would be safe if I laid with the man who was my true love.”

“Yes,” she said. “And you want to know who he is? I can’t tell you; I don’t know how to find out.”

“Not necessarily,” I said. “I want to know how I can find him. Humans don’t know right away, you see. Elder Yovel said you didn’t know who your mate was until after you married King Roan.”

She didn’t answer for a while but she was obviously trying to think of a good way to word it.

“In a way that’s the truth,” she said finally. “We fell in love a month before our appointed marriage. But our marriage was scheduled in order for the unification of the vampires and elves to be absolute. From what I’ve read about humans, it’s more of a… chemical reaction as far as what they experience physically. I do not know if God created a special person as our gods did.”

“Why did they? Did they give you no free will? What if you hated your appointed mate?”

She smiled. “Those are questions that every young elf asks. When a god or goddess appoints a mate, there is a reason. You and your mate complete each other. You need them and they need you. By becoming one, you fulfill whatever plan the god or goddess has for you. For example, Roan and I were made to be together by our god and goddess. They are siblings, you see, and knew the day would come when we were to merge our races. We were chosen to be the two to bring that about.”

“So my love could be any race?” I asked and she nodded.

“I’ve read that God gives humans the free will you spoke of,” she said. “It is my assumption, you will find your love just like a human would.”

“But where do I start?” I whispered. “I don’t want to be impregnated by such an evil god.”

She frowned. “Are you certain you can?”

I nodded. “Elder Yovel said that, because I am a wolf now, I am eligible. And my wolf is extremely pulled toward Bardawulf.”

She tapped her chin. “I have an idea but it is risky.”

“How?”

“Because it would require using magic and magic can be dangerous,” she said darkly.

“You’re talking about when Elder Donne was possessed?”

“Yes. Let me speak with Gladstone about this,” she said. She glanced at the clock. “Jacob is out of lesson. Go on to the library. If he’s not there yet, he will be.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I feel better now.”

She smiled and, to my surprise, hugged me.

“I was just as lost and confused as you were,” she whispered. “I will help in any way I can.”

A tear betrayed me. I had never had someone willing to help me like this outside of Evan and Catherine. It was nice to feel. I smiled one more time before going to the library.