Exactly How Did We Get On This Island?

It was around sunset that same day. At that point, there were six people on the island: Gerard, Steve, Colonel Mustard, MC Hammer, his hype man, and Tony Little. All six people had no idea exactly how and why they were there, but they were all anxious to get back home.

...with some being more anxious than others, that is. Some of the islanders were making the best out of their temporary home, such as Colonel Mustard, Steve Irwin, Tony Little, MC Hammer and his hype man. In fact, they were all getting along quite well. While Tony, Steve, and the colonel took turns using Tony's new Gazelle, MC and his hype man played music for them to exercise to.

Gerard, on the other hand, was not so enthusiastic. He continued sitting on his rock under the huge palm tree, just waiting to be rescued and to get back home.

MC was in the middle of a mini concert while all the islanders excluding Gerard were working out on Tony Little's machine.

MC's hype man, who sounded almost exactly like a girl as his voice was creepily high-pitched, said, "Oh...my...God. Becky, look at her butt! It is so...big!" He scoffed. "She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those rap guys?" He scoffed again. "They only talk to her because she looks like a total...prostitute, kay? I mean, her butt, is just so...big! I can't believe it's just so...round! It's like, out there. I mean -- gross. Look! She's just so...black!"

MC rapped while the hype man beat-boxed, "I like...big...butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get...sprung!"

Tony went insane on his machine while Steve and the colonel danced off to the side.

"Wanna pull up tough cause you noticed that butt was stuffed deep in the jeans she's wearing. I'm hooked, and I can't stop staring! Oh, baby, I wanna get wit'cha and take your picture! My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got makes..."

"Me so horny!" the hype man said, giggling.

"Ohh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin, you say you wanna get in my Benz? Well use me, use me, cause you ain't that average groupy! I've seen them dancin'. To hell with romancin'! She's sweat, and wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette! I'm tired of magazines sayin' flat butts are the thing. Take the average black man and ask him that she gotta pack much back!"

Gerard stared at them dully while sighing, wishing to be back at home with his band, family, and friends.

+Flashback+

"Oh, Gerard, baby, suck it like you mean it," Frankie mumbled, lying on his back in bed. He thrusted his pelvis forward and threw his arms back on the bed.

"Mmm," Gerard moaned with it in his mouth.

Frankie let out a short whimper as he thrusted his pelvis forward, making Gerard cough as it went just a little too deep in his throat.

Frankie's eyes widened as he pulled back.

"I didn't wanna deep-throat you!" Gerard exclaimed, hacking up a storm.

"Sorry, Gee!" Frankie said, giving Gerard an irresistable smile.

"When's it gonna be my turn?!" Mikey asked unpatiently. He was lying next to Frankie on the bed as Gerard was currently on top of Frankie.

"Ohh, in just a second, my friend," Gerard said, giving his brother a smirk. He got on top of Mikey and took off his pants and underwear, then took the other it in his mouth.

Immediately afterward, Mikey let out a loud moan and ejaculated into his brother's mouth.

Gerard's eyes widened as he took the other it out of his mouth and spat his brother's ejaculate out onto the floor.

"Sweet Buddha, that was quick!" said Gerard.

"Well..." Mikey said, smiling innocently.

Gerard smirked and leaned up to kiss his brother.

-End Flashback-

Gerard tuned back into what was going on on the island.

MC rapped, "...I ain't talkin' about Playboy, cause silicone parts are made for toys! I want 'em real thick and juicy, so find that juicy double, MC Ham's in trouble, beggin' for a piece of that bubble!"

Suddenly, yet another puff of smoke formed in the midst of the island.

Immediately following the formation of the puff of smoke, Britney Spears ran over to a nearby palm tree and began sliding up and down it before slowing down and humping it.

"Ohh, gimme more, palm tree..." she moaned.

Everyone's eyes widened at this. Even Tony Little's.

She slid off the tree and began humping each islander one by one. While doing this, she sang, "Every time they turn the lights down, just wanna go that extra mile for you!"

She ran over to Steve Irwin and touched his nose before humping him. "Public display of affection. Feels like no one else in the room."

Steve could do nothing more but widen his eyes as he was in shock. He had secretly been a fan of Britney Spears' old school music, and quite frankly, he couldn't believe he was currently being humped by her.

She got off of him and humped Tony Little's Gazelle. "We can get down like there's no one around. We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin'. Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancing. They keep watching, keep watching. Feels like the crowd is sayin'..."

She invited herself to jump on the machine and begin exercising with it. And, let's face it, every ounce of exercise Britney can get is a blessing for all of us.

She sang, "Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme, gimme, more. Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme, gimme, more. Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme, gimme, more. Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme, gimme, more."

She hopped off the machine and ran over to Gerard, then tickled him under his chin.

"Center of attention even when they're up against the wall."

She dragged him up and began dancing like an Iranian belly dancer around him.

"You got me in a crazy position, if you're on a mission, you got my permission..."

Gerard froze as Steve did in shock, though unlike Steve, Gerard hated Britney's music. Sure, she was cute when she was seventeen, but he felt no attraction to the way she was now.

She abruptly ended the song by saying, "It's Britney, bitch."

After a few moments of silence, everyone on the island except for Gerard began clapping a little, only to be polite.

"Thanks, my bitches," Britney said, gritting her teeth. She sounded like a tiger in heat when she spoke.

"Mayte, where did you learn those dance moves?" Steve asked.

"Well, it certainly wasn't from no fuckin' Paula Abdul," Britney said in a scornful, rude fashion.

"Hey baby! I'm forever your girl..." the hype man sang exactly like Paula Abdul.

Britney gave him a pissed off look before crossing her arms. Her outfit (what there was of it, anyway) showed quite a lot of skin, including her lovely stomach area that hung over her (lack of) short-shorts.

"Please? I just wanna go home. Please?" Gerard pleaded with the sky. "I'll go to church every Sunday from now on, I promise. Please let me go back home?"

Everyone stared at him, giving him weird looks. Britney glared a little at him while scowling.

"I'm supposed to be the center of attention here," she said.

"Even while we're up against the wall, we know," Gerard said dully.

Britney threw her hand up in the air. "Whatevs, dude. Talk to the hand."

Gerard rolled his eyes before burying his face in his hands.

"I wanna go home..." he mumbled. "Home..."