One Minute

Stepping out of the airport, I’m instantly greeted by the hot Arizona air. I inhale deep, this is home. Ashley joins me on the sidewalk, draping an arm around my shoulders.
“Sure does feel good, huh?” Tim, Ashley’s boyfriend agreed to pick us up from the airport once we landed in Phoenix.
I was never really involved in the dating scene during high school. I never caught anyone’s attention like Ashley did. She was tall, beautiful, adventurous and had a killer personality. I on the other hand, typically stayed put, keeping to books and writing music that no one would ever hear. My father had taught me to play the guitar when I was seven and it was forever my source of escape.
Tim arrives moments later, stepping out of his car and immediately hugging Ashley. I give them credit, I can only imagine how hard the distance must be for them. They really are so in love.
“Jay-dee!” Tim picks me up and spins me around. Setting me down, he extends a hand and ruffles my newly intolerable bangs. “Nice bangs, kiddo. Looking good.” I roll my eyes. “So, you ladies ready for food?”
Forty minutes later, we arrive to the SoZo Cafe in my hometown, Chandler. Since being home last, the place had undergone some updating and it looked different, but still felt the same. We seat ourselves on the outside patio. I lean back in my chair, lighting a smoke, and soaking in the sweet Arizona sun. Maybe I’ll get my tan back.
“So Tim, Jess saw Garrett and the guys back in Seattle at the Coyote.” Ashley began to tell Tim.
“Oh yeah that’s right! They had their last show for the tour a couple of nights ago in Seattle and they stayed a couple extra days to see their friends play at your guys’ bar.”
Completely uninterested, I drifted out of their conversation about the boys, focusing on the people passing by on the sidewalk next to our table. I almost felt like a ghost in my own hometown, like I was invisible to everyone here. Just like how I was completely invisible to the man back at the Coyote. My thoughts are interrupted by a vibration in my jeans pocket. It was my mother. Shit. I almost too quickly jump out of my chair and politely excuse myself from Tim and Ashley. Making my way around the cafe, I answer.
“Hello?” I stay quiet as if I’m hiding.
“Jessica Ann Daniels,” She says sternly. “Why on earth haven’t you been picking up my calls?” I felt like I was fourteen again and in trouble.
“Mom, I’m so sorry. You called me while I was at work and I had such a busy shift that I went home and went straight to bed and then this morning -” I cut myself off before I could finish. I still hadn’t told my mother that I was coming home for the weekend.
“This morning?” she asked curiously. Shoot. Now or never Jess.
“Well, I’m back in Chandler. Just for the weekend though, so before you freak out -” Too late. However, by the tone of her voice, she sounded more enthused than she did angry.
“Oh, honey this is great! I figured you wouldn’t miss Michelle’s twenty-first birthday,” she chuckles. “When will you be at the house? We can catch up then.”
“I’m grabbing a bite to eat with Ashley and Tim and then I’ll be home, I promise.” I smile. I really did miss my mother.
We exchange our goodbyes and I stand by the brick wall for a second. I look over my reflection in the window next to me - blue ripped skinny jeans with my Doors t-shirt cut at the neckline, a gray beanie rests on top of my head with all my hair clumped together in a low bun. I never really grasped the sense of a “girly” style.
Making my way back to the table, I see Tim and Ashley fully engaged with a familiar freckled face. He looks up at me.
“Hey! Jay-dee! I was hoping I’d see you!” That’s right. Ashley said that all the guys and Garrett would be joining us at Michelle's party tonight. “All the guys were talking about you last night after the bar.” He chuckles.
“Oh god, I don’t even want to know what you guys had to say.” I never enjoyed being the center of attention.
Jared joins us for a late breakfast and fills us in with stories from tour.
“It was crazy, John was practically taken down by a stampede of lovestruck fans.” I roll my eyes. Singers.
“Hey, you guys wouldn’t mind if you gave me a ride to your place?” Jared asks. “John has a couple of demos that he wants some help with.”
“Yeah of course!” Tim said cheerfully. From the earlier conversation, it became apparent to me that John was Tim’s housemate. Speaking of housemates, I really needed to start looking for a housemate to move in with once I finish school in the spring. My thoughts are cut short once again.
“You coming over too Jay-dee? You can meet John.” Jared snickered.
“I really got to head back to my house, I promised my mother I’d stop by. Plus I’ll see you guys later tonight for Michelle’s birthday!” I tried to sound excited for tonight, but I was secretly dreading it.
“Well, I’m looking forward to it.” Jared said cooly.

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I stand on the edge of my porch and stare at the very familiar fire engine red door. I remember helping my father paint that nearly fifteen years ago. He believed it made a statement to the other houses in the neighborhood and he was right. Suddenly, I’m frozen in a tidal wave of nostalgia that leaves a dry taste in my mouth. A tear wells up in my right eye, but I quickly wipe it away, dismissing my thoughts with it immediately. I take one more second to calm my breathing before knocking on the bright red door. Maybe coming home was a bad idea.
The door swings open and I’m instantly engulfed in a too tight hug from Matthew, my older brother. My regrets from being back home are immediately washed away. Seconds later my mother is joining the hug, kissing me on my forehead.
“Oh, Jessica. I’m so happy to see you.” She breathes into my hair.
We walk into the foyer of the house I grew up in. I look around at the familiar curved staircase and walls covered in photographic memories of better days.
“Jess, you know I would love to stay and chat, but I got the graveyard shift at Al’s tonight. Catch up tomorrow?”
“Yikes, I’d hate to be you right now, Matt. Yeah, tomorrow works fine with me.” I hug my brother once more before he heads out the door. My mother gestures me to the kitchen and as if she reads my mind, she starts a pot of coffee. Lately, I’ve been working back to back shifts at Coyote and the exhaustion was finally catching up.
I walk towards the refrigerator to grab cream for our coffee. I look amongst the items occupying the space of the fridge door, mostly consisting of coupons for pizza. My eyes land upon a very old photo as was evident by the tattered corners and yellowing on the photo paper. In the small polaroid sits me on my father's lap as he teaches my tiny fingers how to properly hold his guitar. The memories come back to me in a tidal wave, remembering this exact moment with my father. It was the first day that he taught me how to play guitar, and since then, I stuck with it.
“You know,” my mother speaks. “He always said you were a natural when it came to playing. Do you still?” she asks. I don’t speak for a moment.
“Not so much anymore, sometimes here and there. I’ve just been so busy with school and and the bar.” I join her at the kitchen table with our cups of coffee.
“And how is school going? Do you like it there? I mean, I’m assuming you do, you have not been home in almost three years.” Her voice sounds more stern than sympathetic.
“Um… school’s been good.” I ignore her comment. “I have an internship with Altpress for this summer. I’ll be following bands on Warped Tour and then writing about it for the magazine. I’m really excited about it.”
“So I take that as you’re not coming home for awhile...again.” Now she sounded really mad.
“Mom, please don’t be like that... ”
“I mean it’s true,” she cuts me off. “I know you took things the hardest when your father passed away, but you can’t run away from home forever. You’re going to have to come back sooner or later.”
“I know, and you’re right. I just… I’m just still learning to deal with everything that has happened.” I rest my hand on my lower back, catching my mother’s attention.
“Still hurts?” she sounds sympathetic now.
“Every now and then. The doctors think that it may be connected to post traumatic stress from the accident.” I look up to my mother with tears in her eyes. “Come on, let’s not talk about this now.”
“I’m just happy you’re home Jessica. I miss having you home.” she sighs.
“I know. How about this… after graduating, I’ll come home and stay awhile until I can-” My voice is cut off by the home phone ringing. My mother stands up, taking long strides to the phone that still hangs from the wall, just like it did when I was younger. She answers the phone with her cheerful voice, but quickly turns a bit angry. She hangs up the phone, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Everything okay, mom?” I ask quietly.
“Sort of. We have a bunch of orders placed at the shop for daisies this season and we’ve been late in receiving the shipment. Now they’re saying that there has been a problem with the shipment.” My mother, and her mother (my grandmother), always had a thing for flowers; putting them in the house, growing them, studying them. When my mother was in her early twenties, she helped her mother open up shop not too far from the city of Chandler. That’s where my parents first met since my father was working in the field with my grandfather. When my grandmother passed away, she left the shop in my mother's name. Since then, the shop has grown into one of the most popular flower shops in all of Chandler. “I’m going to have to run down there and settle things out. I have all of the paperwork for the shipment in my office there. You’re more than welcome to come by with me?” She sounds hopeful that I’ll say yes.
“You know I’d love to, I just… I think I should stay here, take a nap or something before going to Michelle's party tonight. I’ll gladly go in with you tomorrow and help around.” She shoots me a smile and nod before grabbing her keys and walking out the door.
I sit in the kitchen, surrounded by the sounds of silence and nostalgic memories. I rest my forehead to my arms on the counter, closing my eyes. A cool draft comes in through the open window, caressing the exposed skin on my lower back. A shock of electricity pools again in my lower back, familiar to the feeling I got with the mysterious man outside of Coyote. I shoot up, pushing my chair out from behind me, grabbing my keys, and walk out the door. Maybe I should just get out for a little.