Unrequested Life Advice on How to Live Through That ***ing Heartache

I would love to tell you this is going to be easy, that with five steps you can get over anyone no matter how long you were together or the fact that they were your fucking soul mate, but I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to be honest. This shit hurts, the empty chest feeling after they walk away for whatever bullshit reason they gave, or maybe it was a good reason and mutual but it still feels like a bullet to the chest.
My chest eased up when I realized there was still a chance for us to end up together, even just a friends. So find some comfort but don't wait around forever if they aren't putting anything in. Don't hold yourself off from maybe being wrong.
I realized I was trying to stop loving him and that just made it worse. So let yourself feel whatever the fuck you feel, if you need to cry for days fucking do it. If you need to drink or kiss someone else, fuck it, go for it. Just be safe about it. You still have to get up and go to school or work or whatever you do during the days even while you feel like giving up. You can do this, trust me. You are a million times stronger than you know.

I laid in bed crying for about two weeks with small breaks to go to work and take finals. I even cried at work once... or twice. I had close friends telling me to move on days after. How could I move on? This person was my safety, my home and now there was just a hole in my life where he should have been. I didn't know what to do. I screamed at God, the universe or whatever is out there, maybe nothing but I yelled. Begged. Asked what to do. Said that whatever plan it had for me I wasn't going to do without him, I couldn't. I sat there for hours, crying and screaming until I couldn't scream anymore. Then I whispered, if this isn't for the best, if this isn't meant to be , him and I, please take this love out of me because it hurts. Nothing happened. For days nothing happened. I still loved him, more than anything. I still missed him.

I still find myself at night whispering his name. Snuggling up to my pillows and whispering his nickname. I hope he does the same. Hope his chest hurts as bad as mine does. Hope that he will come back as my friend as soon as he can. and I hope that is soon.