Unrequested Life Advice on How to Live Through That ***ing Heartache
Still dreams
I'm having this reoccurring dream of you. We run into each other at the store and I introduce you to my new boyfriend. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer, not knowing who you are. Your name has never fallen from my lips around him. How could I tell him about the love before? That I thought I was going to spend forever with someone else?
You smile and nod but I can see it in your eyes. You once called me the one love that you ruined. You called me the one that got away.
You say how happy you are to see me. How cute him and I are together. He laughs. Agrees. Kisses my forehead. But I'm just watching you.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with this new someone. Because I have moved on. But seeing that fake smile and the pain in your eyes fucking kills me.
Sometimes the dream changes. Its still the same. Running into each other. You call out my name and I freeze. I know that voice. I turn and see you standing there. I'm standing alone next to like... The soda. And you take wide steps until the distance is closed and pull me into a hug. You smell the exact same. You spread like heat across me. And then a little girl runs up. "Mommy! Can we get ice cream?" I push you off of me and scoop her up.
You stare for a long time. And then you notice the ring. You look at my daughter. She has his eyes. "That should have been our baby." You whisper. I press my lips together tightly.
"Maybe." But it isn't.
"I will always love you. You know that right? Every day I think about you. " I nod slowly.
"I know. Maybe next life we can figure it out." I smile up at you. You cant help but laugh. You were always so amused by my witchy tendencies.
"I promise. Next time... Next time I won't fuck it up. Its gonna be You and me." I giggled.
"Lets go get some ice cream, baby girl." And I turned and walked away.
You still live somewhere in this town with me. We've been on a million Wal-Mart adventures... I'm scared every time I go out that you'll some how be there. I'm scared because I want to see you so bad.
You smile and nod but I can see it in your eyes. You once called me the one love that you ruined. You called me the one that got away.
You say how happy you are to see me. How cute him and I are together. He laughs. Agrees. Kisses my forehead. But I'm just watching you.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with this new someone. Because I have moved on. But seeing that fake smile and the pain in your eyes fucking kills me.
Sometimes the dream changes. Its still the same. Running into each other. You call out my name and I freeze. I know that voice. I turn and see you standing there. I'm standing alone next to like... The soda. And you take wide steps until the distance is closed and pull me into a hug. You smell the exact same. You spread like heat across me. And then a little girl runs up. "Mommy! Can we get ice cream?" I push you off of me and scoop her up.
You stare for a long time. And then you notice the ring. You look at my daughter. She has his eyes. "That should have been our baby." You whisper. I press my lips together tightly.
"Maybe." But it isn't.
"I will always love you. You know that right? Every day I think about you. " I nod slowly.
"I know. Maybe next life we can figure it out." I smile up at you. You cant help but laugh. You were always so amused by my witchy tendencies.
"I promise. Next time... Next time I won't fuck it up. Its gonna be You and me." I giggled.
"Lets go get some ice cream, baby girl." And I turned and walked away.
You still live somewhere in this town with me. We've been on a million Wal-Mart adventures... I'm scared every time I go out that you'll some how be there. I'm scared because I want to see you so bad.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is a jumbled mess. Ive been thinking about him a lot lately. Writen way too many poems about him. I started seeing someone else. He's epic. The most beautiful eyes ever. Like... Unf. So why am I thinking about my ex? Bruh, feelings. I am not a reliable sorce on how to get over heart break. I'm just out here telling you my bullshit opinion.