Crush

I see you everyday.

But you don’t see me.

You’re extroverted, enjoying the company of others, seeking adventure in the world.

I’m introverted, enjoying my own company, seeking comfort in a book and pyjamas.

However we work together.

You work on the counters, talking animatedly to customers as they purchase their shopping.

I stand in the isles and sticker products quietly rarely making a noise.

We’ve spoken briefly once or twice. Simple hellos and goodbyes.

It was those brief moments that caused me to be overcome with emotions for you.

Your friendliness, you ability to make a person feel welcome and at ease caused me to fall instantly under your spell. Your dark eyes filled with a warmth that caused my heart to beat erratically. The cheeky grin that spreads across your face when you tell a joke or hear something funny causes my palms to sweat. Those moments you pass me in an isle and your cologne fills my sense of smell causes my head to spin. When you speak to me the ability to coherent a plausible sentence is difficult and instead I blush profusely and mumble incoherently an answer.

Most people we work with think I am weird, strange, a loner. I know this because I overhear them whispering behind their hands in the lunchroom. It’s obvious they think that I can’t hear them. I have never heard you utter a mean word about me, even when your work mates try to force it out of you. Maybe it is because you know I can hear you, or maybe it is because you are a kind person, either way I admire you for it. You never talk ill about anyone, even if and when they deserve it.

I want to talk to you and not be a mumbling mess. I want to strike up a conversation and not blush, not feel as if I may pass out or my knees will give away, but I can’t. The feelings I have for you, the crush I have on you is crippling.

The worst part in all of this is that my feelings for you will not be returned. You have a girlfriend and she is beautiful. I am not mad at her, I may be a little jealous, because she gets to wake up next to you everyday, hear your laugh everyday and see your smile. However at the end of the day you are simply a work colleague that has their own life outside of the building which includes a girlfriend, and I am a quiet girl who keeps to herself and admires from afar at the charming and kind gentleman that you are.