My Heart Is His
Un
Ben had vowed never to fall in love with Jacob, but sometimes what the heart wanted was just too strong and you had no choice but to follow. It didn’t happen instantly like in the books or movies, it was a gradual thing and no matter how hard he tried, the feelings wouldn’t go away.
He had been hiding his feelings for nearly two years and nobody knew how much it hurt Ben everyday, watching, as Jacob grew closer to his girlfriend, Freya. Walking into school with his bag shoved over his shoulder, Ben headed straight to his locker and smiled when he spotted Jacob leaning against it with his head hung low.
“Trouble in paradise,” Ben joked, opening his locker door and chucking his bag inside.
“She cheated on me,” Jacob replied, looking over at Ben, “She got drunk and ended up in bed with Richard.”
“I’m sorry Jake.”
“The thing is… she said that she regrets it and that it didn’t mean anything,” Jacob told him, causing Ben’s heart to sink and anger to erupt inside him, “Perhaps we can sort it out.”
“Why?” Ben snapped, taking Jacob by surprise and slamming the locker door shut, “She’s cheated on you three times already and you’re going to take her back again… she doesn’t deserve you, Jake.”
“She made a mistake…”
“Three times?”
“What is going on with you?” Jacob inquired as Ben started walking away.
“Nothing,” Ben shouted as he turned back round to face Jacob, “Do what you want… let Freya walk all over you and treat you like a fool, because I don’t care anymore.”
“Ben…” Jacob called, but Ben refused to let Jacob see his tears and carried on walking.
Skipping class, Ben made his way to the bleachers and sat down at the top to clear his head. Why couldn’t Jacob see that he deserved better? Why did he let Freya trample on his heart again and again?
Lunchtime soon arrived and Ben made his way to the cafeteria, where Jacob was waiting. Ignoring him, Ben got his food and was about to leave again, when Jacob grabbed his arm to stop him.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Ben lied, swallowing nervously and wishing that Jacob would just leave it alone.
“I know you, Ben,” Jacob continued, keeping his hand on Ben’s arm as he spoke, “I get that you care about me, but I really like Freya, man.”
“Like I said…” Ben added, pulling out of Jacob’s grip and turning towards the door, “Do what you want.”
“No… tell me why you’re so against me getting back with Freya?”
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,” Ben shouted, causing everyone to fall silent and turn their attention in their direction, “I love you and… I’m really sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to keep it from you.”
Without waiting for a response from Jacob, Ben ran and didn’t stop until he could hardly breath. Ducking into an alleyway, he slid to the ground and buried his face in his hands. Wall by wall, Ben’s world crumbled around him and he allowed the broken sobs to escape his lips.
All he had to do was walk away, but he instead let his emotions control him and now… now he may have lost the most important person in his life. Wiping his eyes, Ben slowly made his way home and shut himself in his room away from the world.
It was a week, before Ben could work up the courage to step outside and replied to one of Jacob’s fifty-seven messages he had ignored.
‘The Pier, tonight seven o’clock’
Ben was a mess as he waited at the pier, pacing nervously and trying to sort out what he wanted to say. Scanning the boardwalk, Ben immediately spotted Jacob walking towards him and fought hard against the urge to flee.
“Hey,” Jacob said as he joined him, sitting down on an empty bench and falling silent.
“Thanks for coming,” Ben replied, taking a deep breath and continuing without looking at Jacob, “You were never supposed to find out, especially not like that and I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry for loving me?” Jacob asked.
“No, I’d never apologise for feeling the way I do about you,” Ben added, looking out over the sea and feeling the tears forming as he spoke, “I’m sorry that you were humiliated in front of pretty much the entire school and that I was the one that did it…”
“Ben, look at me…” Jacob instructed softly, but Ben couldn’t face him and simply shook his head, “Ben… please.”
Hearing the pleading tone in Jacob’s voice, Ben turned round and looked his best friend in the eye.
“What?”
“I’m not going to lie, when you first told me that you loved me… I was angry,” Jacob stated, “Until I started thinking about everything we’ve been through together and I realised that every time I had an argument with Freya or I was having a bad day, you were the first person that came into my head.”
“Jake…”
“Let me finish…” Jacob continued, getting up and moving to stand in front of Ben, “You’ve always been there and there’s always been something good between us, I guess I just didn’t know what it was before. I don’t know if what we have will go anywhere and to be honest… I’m terrified to find out, but I want to.”
“What are you saying, Jake?” Ben inquired.
“I’m saying that I have no idea if what I’m feeling is love and I don’t have a clue where it will take us down the road, but I want to give it a try,” Jacob rambled, “I want to know if what we have is more than just feelings.”
Smiling as Jacob pulled him into his arms, Ben couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and buried his face in Jacob’s neck as they fell. Ben had no idea what the future held for them either, but the most important thing to him was that they would find out together and deal with the difficulties as they came.
Keeping one arm around Ben’s shoulders, Jacob smiled as Ben rested his head upon his shoulder and lightly pressed a kiss into his hair as they watched the sun set on the horizon.
He had been hiding his feelings for nearly two years and nobody knew how much it hurt Ben everyday, watching, as Jacob grew closer to his girlfriend, Freya. Walking into school with his bag shoved over his shoulder, Ben headed straight to his locker and smiled when he spotted Jacob leaning against it with his head hung low.
“Trouble in paradise,” Ben joked, opening his locker door and chucking his bag inside.
“She cheated on me,” Jacob replied, looking over at Ben, “She got drunk and ended up in bed with Richard.”
“I’m sorry Jake.”
“The thing is… she said that she regrets it and that it didn’t mean anything,” Jacob told him, causing Ben’s heart to sink and anger to erupt inside him, “Perhaps we can sort it out.”
“Why?” Ben snapped, taking Jacob by surprise and slamming the locker door shut, “She’s cheated on you three times already and you’re going to take her back again… she doesn’t deserve you, Jake.”
“She made a mistake…”
“Three times?”
“What is going on with you?” Jacob inquired as Ben started walking away.
“Nothing,” Ben shouted as he turned back round to face Jacob, “Do what you want… let Freya walk all over you and treat you like a fool, because I don’t care anymore.”
“Ben…” Jacob called, but Ben refused to let Jacob see his tears and carried on walking.
Skipping class, Ben made his way to the bleachers and sat down at the top to clear his head. Why couldn’t Jacob see that he deserved better? Why did he let Freya trample on his heart again and again?
Lunchtime soon arrived and Ben made his way to the cafeteria, where Jacob was waiting. Ignoring him, Ben got his food and was about to leave again, when Jacob grabbed his arm to stop him.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Ben lied, swallowing nervously and wishing that Jacob would just leave it alone.
“I know you, Ben,” Jacob continued, keeping his hand on Ben’s arm as he spoke, “I get that you care about me, but I really like Freya, man.”
“Like I said…” Ben added, pulling out of Jacob’s grip and turning towards the door, “Do what you want.”
“No… tell me why you’re so against me getting back with Freya?”
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,” Ben shouted, causing everyone to fall silent and turn their attention in their direction, “I love you and… I’m really sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to keep it from you.”
Without waiting for a response from Jacob, Ben ran and didn’t stop until he could hardly breath. Ducking into an alleyway, he slid to the ground and buried his face in his hands. Wall by wall, Ben’s world crumbled around him and he allowed the broken sobs to escape his lips.
All he had to do was walk away, but he instead let his emotions control him and now… now he may have lost the most important person in his life. Wiping his eyes, Ben slowly made his way home and shut himself in his room away from the world.
It was a week, before Ben could work up the courage to step outside and replied to one of Jacob’s fifty-seven messages he had ignored.
‘The Pier, tonight seven o’clock’
Ben was a mess as he waited at the pier, pacing nervously and trying to sort out what he wanted to say. Scanning the boardwalk, Ben immediately spotted Jacob walking towards him and fought hard against the urge to flee.
“Hey,” Jacob said as he joined him, sitting down on an empty bench and falling silent.
“Thanks for coming,” Ben replied, taking a deep breath and continuing without looking at Jacob, “You were never supposed to find out, especially not like that and I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry for loving me?” Jacob asked.
“No, I’d never apologise for feeling the way I do about you,” Ben added, looking out over the sea and feeling the tears forming as he spoke, “I’m sorry that you were humiliated in front of pretty much the entire school and that I was the one that did it…”
“Ben, look at me…” Jacob instructed softly, but Ben couldn’t face him and simply shook his head, “Ben… please.”
Hearing the pleading tone in Jacob’s voice, Ben turned round and looked his best friend in the eye.
“What?”
“I’m not going to lie, when you first told me that you loved me… I was angry,” Jacob stated, “Until I started thinking about everything we’ve been through together and I realised that every time I had an argument with Freya or I was having a bad day, you were the first person that came into my head.”
“Jake…”
“Let me finish…” Jacob continued, getting up and moving to stand in front of Ben, “You’ve always been there and there’s always been something good between us, I guess I just didn’t know what it was before. I don’t know if what we have will go anywhere and to be honest… I’m terrified to find out, but I want to.”
“What are you saying, Jake?” Ben inquired.
“I’m saying that I have no idea if what I’m feeling is love and I don’t have a clue where it will take us down the road, but I want to give it a try,” Jacob rambled, “I want to know if what we have is more than just feelings.”
Smiling as Jacob pulled him into his arms, Ben couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and buried his face in Jacob’s neck as they fell. Ben had no idea what the future held for them either, but the most important thing to him was that they would find out together and deal with the difficulties as they came.
Keeping one arm around Ben’s shoulders, Jacob smiled as Ben rested his head upon his shoulder and lightly pressed a kiss into his hair as they watched the sun set on the horizon.