Somewhere Only We Know

Matt stood in the garden, breathing in the scent of wet dirt and fresh roses. It had rained the night before and the morning air was humid, something he was less used to now that he’d spent so long in the dry heat of the desert. It had been two days since his arrival at the house and he had only a half-hour before he had to leave to catch his flight.

Although he hadn’t managed to see Jane, he had managed to have a few brief conversations with her roommate, Jenna. Jenna was...different. She was quiet and shy, but he had learned a surprising amount by watching her. She sat in the garden every morning, reading. In the afternoons, she drank tea and worked around the house. At night, after she watched the sunset, she read by the lamp in the living room and once worked on knitting what looked like a sweater.

She was an old soul, he could tell. And he could definitely relate. Jane always wanted to go out, to drink and dance and stay out until all hours. Matt liked to do things during the day and usually tired out by eight o’clock. It was surprisingly easy, sharing the house with Jenna.

The day before, old Charles from the farmer’s market had stopped by. Jenna had stepped out onto the front step to talk to him, but the windows had been open and Matt had heard their short conversation. He had asked her if there was anything she needed done around the house, she had said no. He had offered to come by and keep her company any time she needed it, she had thanked him and wished him a good afternoon. The conversation troubled Matt and he wasn’t quite sure why. He had watched her carefully as she came back in, carrying a basket of vegetables, and begun to put things away.

The first day, he had continued to question her about Jane, but her quiet answers all seemed legitimate. Matt got the sense that she was hiding something from him, but didn’t want to make things overly awkward by probing too far.

As he stood in the garden now, feeling peaceful and calm, he heard her footsteps approaching. He felt her approach as she came to a stop next to him. “Your cab is here,” she said softly.

“Okay,” replied Matt.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to see Jane.”

“That’s okay.”

“I enjoyed your company.”

“Me, too,” he admitted. It wasn’t even a lie – he had liked her easy presence and enjoyed listening to her humming as she went about her day.

“You must miss this place a lot when you’re over there.”

“I do miss it.”

“And you miss Jane, too?”

Matt was quiet for a minute, then said, “Yes. But it’s harder.”

“To miss her?”

“Yes. I hope you don’t judge me for that.”

“I don’t. Jane can be...”

She looked up at Matt, worry on her face. She was obviously worried about offending him if she said anything negative about Jane. Matt smiled and said, “Difficult. Jane can be difficult. Everyone knows it.”

“I’m sure she’s a lovely person at heart.”

“Deep down, maybe.”

“How long have you been together?”

“Excluding breaks?” Matt chuckled. “A year and a half. I was actually coming home to break up with her.” He glanced at Jenna and saw a deep frown settling onto her face. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that. Are you going to tell her?”

“No,” said Jenna, sounding slightly amused. “I won’t tell her a thing. But why did you want to break up with her?”

“A lot of reasons. We’ve been drifting apart. We fought a lot before I left. She hasn’t written to me in over a month.”

“Right. You told me that the other day.”

“I’ve been wrestling with it for a while. I didn’t want to do it in a letter.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, well, it would have been nicer if I’d had the decency to do it before I left.”

“But isn’t her not writing to you one of the big reasons you wanted to leave her?”

“Not a big reason. Just a reason.”

Matt sighed and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I love serving my country, but a small part of me doesn’t want to leave.”

Jenna smiled sadly and lay a tiny hand on his arm. “Going so far away does that. You’ll feel better once you’re back with your comrades.”

“Right,” Matt agreed, laying a hand over hers. His hand dwarfed hers, furthering the impression that she was tiny and delicate. He could tell that she was sad and something seemed off about that. She lived with Jane, so why should she be sad that he was leaving?

Then again, he had found himself feeling alone some nights, even with Jane lying in bed next to him.

The cab honked a horn, reminding them both of the time, and Matt said gruffly, “I should go.”

“Be careful out there.”

“I will.”

Matt strode briskly from the garden, keeping his eyes down and silently reminding himself that he was doing this for his country. On the way to the airport, he pulled out his cellphone and tried to call Jane. Like the last three days, she didn’t answer and, like the last three times, Matt didn’t bother leaving a voicemail.

Matt opened a new text and typed a brief message. He deleted and edited it several times before sending it. He then turned his phone off and put it in his bag – there was no service at their camp, so it would remain off until next time he came home.

“At least someone cares if I die,” Matt muttered, leaning his face against the window glass and thinking of Jenna. “Maybe she’ll write to me.” He smiled at the thought and, a few minutes later, got out of the cab at the airport. It was a long flight so, once he got onto the plane, he took a couple pills and dozed off, unable to worry about Jane or Jenna through his drug-induced sleep.