Somewhere Only We Know

Suddenly, Jenna’s tiny house seemed huge and empty. Everywhere she looked, the space seemed to be missing something. Her heart felt heavy and she was suddenly desperately lonely.

She missed Matt.

She hated to admit it, especially since she’d spent so much of their time together lying to him, but it was true. His presence had made the house seem cozy and comfortable. Having him around had been so natural and, honestly, it had been nice to not be alone anymore.

But the comfort had a price. Now Jenna was more aware of her loneliness than ever. She wanted Matt to come back, yet she also didn’t. She didn’t want to have to look him in the face and lie to him anymore. In fact, she yearned to just write him a letter confessing everything. After all, the longer she waited to tell him, the worse it would be.

However, Jenna found herself unable to pen the words. She kept imagining Matt overseas, hating her and hating his life. How easy it would be for him to let the truth distract him, to get himself killed because he wasn’t paying enough attention to his surroundings.

No, it was better not to tell him. If she could just keep it up until he came back for good, but then what was she going to do? When he came home, he’d be coming back to a home he didn’t own and a liar he would never be able to forgive.

“What have I done?” Jenna asked herself, letting her head drop to the desktop. She was seated at her desk in the front room, looking out at the scenery more often than she was actually working. She was supposed to be proofreading a short story about a woman who falls in love with a man with cancer, but she couldn’t make herself focus on the pages.

Just as she was thinking about getting up and taking a walk, a figure appeared on the road in front of her house. Jenna watched as the figure came to a stop by the front wall, looked around for a moment, and then came strolling up the front drive.

It was a man; one Jenna didn’t recognize. He was young, probably close to Matt’s age, with black hair and broad shoulders. His shirt was stretched tightly over a slight beer belly and he looked uncomfortably warm in a pair of dark jeans and steel-toed boots.

Feeling slightly anxious, Jenna got up and went to the door to greet him.

“Hey,” said the man as Jenna opened the door. “You Jenna?”

“Yes, I am,” she said, keeping one hand on the door handle, as if to slam it in his face. She wasn’t sure why, but his appearance made him nervous.

“I’m Zack. I’m a friend of Matt’s,” he said. “He wanted me to stop by and see if Jane was around.”

“Oh,” said Jenna, her heart jumping into her throat. She was in trouble now – Matt obviously suspected her. Why else would he send someone to check in? “She’s not back yet, I’m afraid.”

Zack’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Long trip. Where did you say she was?”

Jenna fought the urge to lick her lips, which had suddenly gone bone dry, and said, “I’m not sure. She didn’t tell me.”

“So she let you move in with her...but she doesn’t tell you where she goes when she leaves?” asked Zack, stepping closer. Jenna instinctively stepped back and Zack used this to breeze around her and into the house.

Feeling foolish and slightly annoyed, Jenna closed the door behind him and said, “Can I offer you something to drink? I have water, tea, juice...”

“No thanks,” said Zack, looking quizzically at his surroundings. “Not a lot of Jane’s decorations left in here.”

“She said...they reminded her of Matt.”

“Thought girls liked that kind of stuff.” Jenna cringed – he had actually used a word much stronger than stuff.

“Well, Jane isn’t like other girls.”

Zack snorted. “You can say that again.”

“Well, since Jane isn’t here...”

“Mind if I look in her room?”

“What?”

“Her room,” said Zack, gesturing to Jenna’s bedroom door.

“That’s my room. We, um, swapped.”

“Why? Jane would never give up the biggest room.”

“It reminded her—”

“Of Matt, sure,” Zack said dismissively.

Jenna could tell Zack wasn’t buying any of this, but she was determined not to be the first to yield. “She’s in the front room, now. I convinced her to downsize.”

Zack, stepping into the doorway of the front room, said, “I’ll say. That’s a twin bed. Cotton sheets.”

“I’m aware,” said Jenna cautiously. She didn’t like the way Zack was smiling slightly as he stood there, staring at the guest bed. It was a private sort of smile, like he knew something she didn’t.

“So, how are you doing it?” Zack asked then, abandoning the front room and sauntering over to where Jenna was standing. She took a step back and found herself against the kitchen counter.

“Doing what?” she asked apprehensively.

“Tricking Matt into thinking you’re Jane.”

Jenna’s heart skipped a beat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not as gullible as Matt,” Zack laughed. His green eyes were fixed on Jenna’s and he had his hands clasped behind his back. “Jane never sleeps on anything but silk if she can help it. The minute Matt left, she would have switched back to silk. And she never takes down the photos from her modeling phase. And the tea. Jane hates tea.”

“How do you know all this?” Jenna demanded.

“I used to date her,” said Zack. He chuckled at Jenna’s look of shock and continued, “For a hell of a lot longer than Matt, too. And I can tell that Jane hasn’t lived here in a long time. So I want to know how you’ve been fooling Matt. The only thing I can think of is that you met her and got a feel for her personality. And you’re exploiting the fact that Jane hated anything as boring as writing and very rarely did it in front of Matt.”

“I’m not exploiting anything,” snapped Jenna, taking a step forward so that she and Zack were only inches apart. “And how dare you come in here and accuse me of such things. You don’t even know me.”

“I think I know enough.”

“No, you don’t. You only think I’m a liar and a boyfriend-stealer. Did it ever occur to you that, if I were doing these things, it would be for his own good? To keep him from getting depressed and stepping in front of a cannon? To keep him from getting distracted and taking a bullet to the head?”

Zack gawked at her. Jenna was proud of herself until he said, “A cannon? Do you think we’re fighting a war in the 18th century? We have tanks now.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jenna groaned, brushing past Zack and sitting down on a kitchen chair. Rubbing her temples with her fingers, Jenna added, “Has anyone ever told you you’re very offensive?”

“Pretty much every day of my life,” replied Zack, pulling out the other kitchen chair and sitting down. “So, is that a confession?”

“No.”

“Okay. So you live here with sleeps-on-cotton-sheets Jane, who has been out of town for two weeks without a word to you and mysteriously let you take down all her self-portraits, gaudy artwork, and expensive knick-knacks.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re really sticking with that story?”

“Yes.”

Zack sighed and shook his head. “Okay. If you say so. So, how’s it been, living with Jane?”

Jenna shrugged. “It’s not bad.”

“Wrong answer,” Zack laughed, standing up. “Any sane person would say it’s been hell. Only the loneliest person in the world would think living with Jane was anything better. Admit it – you’re the loneliest person in the world.”

Jenna opened her mouth to protest, but suddenly found the words caught in her throat. She desperately wanted to admit to someone that she was lonely – even this intrusive stranger. But she knew it was a bad idea.

Before she could get the words out, however, Zack had reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Here’s your mail, by the way. Looks like you’ve got a letter.”

Jenna took the envelope from him, read the words written on the front, then looked up at Zack, balking. “You are the most interfering person I have ever met.”

“I take that as a compliment,” said Zack, heading for the door. “Hey, don’t feel bad. I’ll come back later with something to cheer you up. Later.”

Then he was gone, out the door and strolling casually up the front drive. Jenna sagged in her seat, head spinning from the bizarre conversation that had just taken place. She hadn’t confessed, exactly, but she hadn’t really been fooling him, either. Was he planning on telling Matt. It certainly didn’t seem that way.

Deciding that worrying about Zack could wait, Jenna turned over the envelope and ripped open the tab. Inside was a single sheet of paper and, as she read the words upon it, Jenna cursed herself once again for putting herself into such a difficult situation.

J,

I don’t know if you’re home yet, but I wanted to tell you that your new roommate is pretty nice. I was going to surprise you with a visit but you weren’t there. You should really tell your roommate where your going when you leave for long trips. Jenna is nice but not really your type. Did you pick her because she reminded you of me? :P Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I got back safely. I had something important I wanted to talk to you about, but I guess I have to write it now. You haven’t written to me in a long time and I know you keep a busy schedule, but I need to hear from you more. I feel like we’re drifting apart and I just need to know that you still think about me. Even if it’s just a short letter saying hi. If you can do that, we’ll be okay. If not I don’t know. Anyway, write back when you can. Seeing home has made me miss it more then ever and I can’t wait for the next time I get to come back.

Matt

P.S. tell Jenna I said hi