My Heart's Melodie

“She isn’t eating anything, Denise. I’m getting really worried.”

Pause.

“Well, no. She won’t eat anything I give her.”

Another pause.

“Do you think so? Well, if you think it’ll work.”. . . . “Alright, bye.”

Click.

My mom was seriously getting obsessed with the fact that I hadn’t eaten in two days. A human can live, what, seven days without eating, right?

So why won’t she leave me alone about it? I’ll eat when I absolutley have to.

And this is when the involuntary sighing comes in.

I came home from the hospital just two days ago. I also learned just two days ago that Joe actually wasn’t dead. I was having nightmares because of my scare. And yet, I have that same nightmare every night when I go to bed.

I’m getting seriously sick of it.

“Honey,” my mom called to me, “are you eating?”

“I’m not hungery, Mom.”

I could hear her sigh.

I truly felt sorry for putting her through this stress, but I was telling the truth. I just wasn’t hungery.

Not only that, but I hadn’t seen or talked to Joe since I had woken up. I just knew that my nightmare wasn’t reality.

Thank heavens.

I ended up sitting for another five minutes, staring at my food as my mom stared at me. I felt awkward under her gaze, as if she was ashamed or something. I just wanted to disappear.

But my thoughts couldn’t help but wander to Joe. What would happen if I just disappeared, not even warning him? What if I moved out of the country, where I was never known; would he come after me?

Why am I even thinking this?

Ding dong.

“Oh, I’ll get it,” my mom said nonchalently. I figured it was Mrs. Jonas, coming over to see if she could persuade me to eat.

I wasn’t going to let her.

“Honey, someone is here to see you,” my mom said as she poked her head into the kitchen, a small smile evident on her lips. Why did I have a bad feeling about this?

Because you know, deep down it’s your lover.

He isn’t my lover!

Oh, then why do you always think about him?

Because, he’s my best friend.

Oh, but then why were you wondering earlier if he would come after you if you just disappeared one day? Or were you hoping?

I hit my head against my hand many times to clear the argument between my conscience and my brain. I didn’t even know which was on which side.

And because of my inner voices, I totally missed who was here. At least if I had some peace and quiet, I would have had some time to prepare myself. Or lock myself in my room.

Instead of Mrs. Jonas standing before me, when I looked up I found myself face to face with Joe.

"Hey, Mel."

"Hey, Joe."

I could hear my mom on the phone again.

"So I was wondering if you would come over for dinner at my house."

He knew I was a sucker for his mom's cooking.

"Uhh, I don't know if my mom will let me. I think we have something going."

I must not give in. I must be strong.

"Already settled. My mom already talked to your mom."

Darn it.

"Oh. Well......"

"For me?" he asked, using his best pout.

He also knew that that was another large weakness of mine.

"Fine."

He is sooooo lucky I love him. Even if he doesn’t know it.

**--**--**

"Hey, Mrs. Jonas," I said with a smile as I sat at the counter. She smiled back.

"Hello, Melodie. How are you doing?" she asked as Joe sat down next to me.

"Good, thanks," I answered. She walked away to tend to her food, leaving me and Joe to talk.

"So why havn't you been eating?"

I shrugged.

"Are you seriously not hungery? Or is it just an act?"

"Joe, can we not talk about this right now? I've had to listen to my mom for the past two days with this." I sighed. I didn't want him to be worried about me.

“But I’m worried. You havn’t even talked to me in two days.”

Hmmm, I wonder why? Note the sarcasm there.

“Joe,” I sighed in frustration.

“Mel,” he retorted, in the same tone of voice.

Cue the awkward silence.

“Listen, Melodie, I’m really worried about you. You need to eat! This is so unlike you! It just really scares me! And when you were in the hospital, you started screaming and crying…,”

He trailed off, not even part of this world. I felt guilty, for putting him through this.

“Joe, if I ran away, somewhere far away, would you go after me until you found me?” I asked randomly, cursing myself afterwards for saying.

I seriously need to keep my thoughts to my own head.

“Huh? You aren’t going to run away are you?” he asked, his eyes getting big with concern.

“No, no. I was just…..wondering.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

“But would you?” I asked.

“To the end of the world.”