My Heart's Melodie

Dinner almost killed me. The looks Joe and Alice were exchanging were almost sending me to hell. And then I saw Alice squeezing Joe’s hand, and then another look. If they wanted to kill me, it was working.

I think Alice could tell I knew something was up. She kept giving me Joe looks that were either reassuring or warningl looks. I couldn’t tell with Alice.

She had given up on trying to get me to eat, so she finally ordered a salad for me. I swear, I wanted to kill her. I really really really didn’t’ like this girl.

When I got the salad, I just stared at it. Joe gave me this glare like he was going to stuff his food down my throat. I ignored him, and I still didn’t eat. He eventually gave up and started to talk to Alice.

“Fine, be that way,” I murmered under my breath. I picked up my fork, and took a bite. Joe and Alice both stopped talking abruptly and turned towards me. Joe smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes and weakly smiled back. At least he was paying attention to me instead of Alice. I kept eating, and he kept smiling. I made me happy. I loved seeing Joe’s smile.

I finished the salad and got up to leave. Alice and Joe followed, Joe’s arms around me.

“You finally ate! Everyone will be so relieved and happy, especially Nick.”

My steps faultered for just a moment. Especially Nick?! What was that supposed to mean?

We got to Joe’s house, and sas I walked in through the door, everyone hugged me.

“You ate, Melodie!” they all yelled with happiness. I got a sinking feeling as I picked out Nick’s voice as the happiest.

I smiled and walked into the bathroom, shutting it softly behind me. I put my ear to the door, listening for everyone to leave before I let myself fall to the ground. sighing heavily.

What was I gonna do?

I hadn’t eaten in days; and now food make me sick to my stomach.

I crawled over to the toilet with my hand on my stomach. I couldn’t believe what was becoming of me.

I stuck my hand down my throat, wishing I could go back and stop myself. Too late, I thought as I saw the chunks and liquid come out of my throat, and into the toilet.

I turned away, disgusted with myself. Joe would kill me if he found out.

What about Nick?

Yah, him too.

I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, cringing at the butterflies in my stomach. I picked up my clutch and left the bathroom.

My eyes widened as I caught Joe giving me a hard look. He had heard me.

“Joe, it’s not what it looks—“

“Save it.”

He turned on his heel and left me standing there, feeling horrible about myself. I really hoped he wouldn’t tell anyone else….I didn’t want to cause any drama.

I dragged my feet up to the bedroom I was staying in, glancing at Joe’s door, hoping he would come out with a smile on his face and say ‘just kidding!’ like he always would.

Nope. Didn’t hear a sound from his room.

I closed my door behind me, sighing heavily. Why did have to ruin everything?!

Joe probably hated me, Alice probably didn’t think too fondly of me at the moment, and I knew Nick would explode if Joe told him I was going bulimic. I was really a mess.

Don’t get me wrong though. I didn’t think I was too fat or anything. And I wasn’t thinking suicide just because Joe didn’t love me. I wasn’t that insane.

But all in all, I really did hate myself at the moment.