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Chapter Eight

The more I thought about it, the more I felt bad for accepting my imminent death. The people who I had come to know during my fleeting stay in Konoha would miss me, and my death would cause them pain. That's just the way you are, you're always causing people pain and unnecessary trouble. The malevolent voice inside my head spoke, but I now realised it was a hallucination, brought upon me by the damage that the chakra flooding my weak body was causing. In some ways it was comforting, knowing that the voice wasn't real, or some kind of figment of my imagination showing that I was going insane.

A soft knock sounded at the door to my room, but I still couldn't move, and I wasn't sure if I could even talk at the moment: I didn't bother trying in case I was disappointed. Despite my lack of reply, the door opened anyway, and the comforting figure of the Hokage entered.

"Hello, Chiaki-chan. How are you doing?"

I was grateful for that: his voice didn't portray any pity or sympathy he was likely feeling. It made me feel normal, rather than being held in high regard just because of an illness.

The Hokage looked slightly perturbed that I wasn't talking to him, so I tried to force out some speech.

"I-I'm doing a-alright, H-Hokage-sama." I managed to respond, my voice hoarse and quiet.

He smiled slightly, bringing his large hand down to ruffle my hair.

"That's good. I'm sure Tsunade-chan has been to tell you of your prognosis?" He responded kindly, unable to restrain the hint of sympathy that laced his words.

I attempted to nod my head, but found that I was still under the influence of the sedatives, so managed to pull my lips into a small smile.

At that small show of strength on my behalf, the Hokage nearly lost control of himself, his soft eyes glazing over slightly with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry, Chiaki-chan. No one as young as you should have to go through such suffering." The man muttered, no longer being able to hide the pity he felt for me. I couldn't hate him for it though: it just showed how caring he was, and what a great leader he was that he could care for all his people, even a young girl considered an outsider. I felt my own eyes beginning to tear up at his show of kindness. I guess this is what it feels like to have a proper father, to feel loved and cherished. I thought to myself, before responding to the man before me.

"I-it's okay, Hokage-sama. I c-can't f-feel anything. I-I'm not i-in pain a-anymore."

After that declaration, the door suddenly slid open, a very concerned Minato rushing through to my bedside.

"Chiaki-chan, are you okay? I was so worried when you passed out at the academy but Takeshi-sensei wouldn't let me leave early to visit you. What's going on?"

He was talking at a million miles an hour, but I could still make out what he was saying – just about, anyway!

I grimaced slightly when I tried to begin speaking: the pain medication was clearly beginning to wear off, causing uncomfortable twinges throughout my body. Before I could speak, I was interrupted by Tsunade entering the room again.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's the end of visiting hours. Minato-kun, Sarutobi-sensei, you'll have to leave now. I can explain Chiaki-chan's condition to you, if that's okay?" She stated, looking at me for approval.

I nodded, grateful to deflect the attention away from me and for the fact that I wouldn't be present when Tsunade broke the news to the Hokage and Minato.

Saying their goodbyes, the aforementioned pair shuffled out of the room, leaving me in the embrace of a comforting silence.

I awoke early the next morning to a dull throbbing at the base of my skull. I forced myself to sit up in the hospital bed, bracing myself against the pain shooting up and down all the nerves in my body. I sat still for a while, gazing at the light flooding in through the pathetic excuse of curtains in the room. I could feel it's warmth on the side of my face, even through the glass and fabric forming a barrier between me and the outside world. A small smile tugged at my lips; the warmth reminded me of one of my only happy memories from back home, when my mother and father still cared for me. It's only a brief flash, but I can feel the warmth of my mother's arms around me, and my father smiling at us. If only it had lasted.

A knock on the door awakened me from my silent reverie of remembrance. The visitor didn't bother waiting for a response before entering the room. It was Tsunade.

The look of relative peace turned into one of anger as she caught me sitting up.

"Honestly, Chiaki-chan. If you do that you could hurt yourself, and I want to prolong your life as much as possible."

I just smiled again at her response.

"What's the point? We all die eventually, what does it matter if I go a little early?" I stated, shocking both myself and Tsunade – if the even stormier look on her face was anything to go by, with my morbid thoughts. What I found even more shocking was the fact that I went for a whole sentence without stuttering.

That's probably the energy flooding your system, I thought to myself. It's probably reached your brain already, and fried the part that caused the stammer in the first place.

Lovely.

Choosing not to address what I had said, Tsunade ignored me for the rest of her visit, checking various machines and mumbling to herself. I didn't hear all of it, but I picked up the words "waste" and "too young".

Before I knew it she was gone again, flouncing out of the door like an ungrateful child, when there was another knock on the door. It was the Hokage.

"Hello, Chiaki-chan", he whispered, probably trying to protect my "delicate ears". Ha. "If you're feeling any better, we have permission to take you back to Minato's house." He didn't need to say anymore, but his true intention was palpable. What he really wanted to do was to tack so you can die in peace, instead of in a white-washed, disinfectant-stinking cesspit of a hospital room.

I forced a smile, ignoring the pain that shot up my cheeks from using muscles. Damn. This is really happening, isn't it?

"I'd like that very much, Hokage-sama."

By the fleeting look of surprise that graced the mature man's features, he had noticed the lack of a stutter too, but did little other to acknowledge it.

Before either one of us could say any more – just as the silence was beginning to get a little awkward, a nurse came in with a wheelchair, supervised by Tsunade.

The nurse gripped my arm "gently". At least she tried. Even the smallest movements now sent red-hot trails of fire shooting under my skin. I did my best to keep my face as blank as possible, but I saw Tsunade and the Hokage both begin to frown, pity filling there eyes.

Most people would resent that: find the pity condescending and patronising, but I understood them. I would feel the same way if I ever had to witness someone my age in such obvious agony. A small part of my mind also had to admit that it actually felt quite nice. Finally, there was someone – or some people – who cared about me enough to actually pity me.

Before long I was stationed in the wheelchair (it's harder than it looks to get into one of those death traps, let me tell you!), and the Hokage was pushing me gently through the corridors of Konoha's hospital. You could tell, just by the facial expressions of those who saw him, how well respected and loved the Hokage truly was.

We arrived at Minato's house around ten minutes later: we could have been faster but the Hokage was trying to be careful with me. Even with the level of care he was taking, every jolt in the pavement, or pothole or stone on the path that he didn't see sent pain shooting through me. I felt like there were hundreds of cats in my body, trying to claw their way out of my flesh, tearing me apart from the inside out.

Minato was waiting for us: he either had managed to negotiate himself a day off, or it was a Saturday, I had lost track of the days now. I almost wished he hadn't. The pain was so evident on his face, it was almost as if he was in as much anguish as me. His face was pale and clammy, eyes puffy from crying, and ringed with charcoal from lack of sleep.

Just looking at him like that made my heart twinge. I wanted to comfort him, and tell him that everything would be all right, but I obviously couldn't. We both knew that I was going to die.

The Hokage bid us farewell, leaving us alone together in his living room, me still clutching the bag of painkillers and tranquillisers I had been given by Tsunade in order to manage the pain. I was prescribed way over the usual accepted dosage, but what the hell? I was dying anyway, why not let it be painless?

Almost without realising it, I was settling back into my old, depressive mindset. I had to be careful now: I didn't want to regress back to how I felt before, especially now I had been handed so many powerful drugs. It would be so easy just to...

Almost as if reading my mind (or maybe I was just losing my sanity and speaking out loud!) Minato chose this moment to speak up.

"I don't know what you're thinking, Chiaki-chan, but there's a lot of medication there. I don't want you to, to, to, you know before we find you a cure." Minato's voice cracked, and he momentarily allowed a few tears to seep out of his tear ducts. We both knew he was being overly optimistic: there was no way there could be a cure for this. My death warrant had been signed, now all I had to do was wait.