‹ Prequel: All of Me
Unhinged
003
Song inspiration
When the next day came, I didn’t receive any calls or texts from D. Maybe she realized what a mistake it was to contact me and she had decided to forget about what happened?
“Nick, can we talk?” Cassidy said as she sat down on the couch beside me. I turned off the show I was watching and directed my attention toward her.
“I’m sorry for acting the way I did yesterday. I guess I just got…” she trailed off and turned away from me.
“It’s fine. I should be the one apologizing. I was out of line,” I scooted closer to her and placed her hand in mine, “I’m sorry Cass.”
She half smiled before letting go of my hands. “I appreciate that, but I just wish you didn’t get so sensitive when we talk about her, I mean I get that she was a big part of your life and all, but -”
“Cass, that’s the point. She was a big part of my life… a part of my life that didn’t end so well. She was my best friend before we were ever involved. I’d rather just not speak about her. To anyone.” As I finished speaking, my phone began to buzz. I felt slightly nervous.
“I’m sorry, I have to get that.” I said softly.
“Go ahead.”
I half expected it to be her calling to grovel and ask for me back, “It’s my mom.” I said softly, somewhat confused to why she was calling. “Hello?”
As my mom spoke, it was like all of her words were blurring together. “What do you mean? I was just there!” I spoke with my mom a while longer before finally ending the call.
“Nick, what’s wrong?”
“My… my dad had a heart attack.”
“What?!” She rushed over to me and embraced me. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t do anything.
“I have to go.”
“Of course, I’ll get us packed.” Cassidy said as she ran into the bedroom.
I felt as if everything was in slow motion, as if this wasn’t real. I walked slowly to my bedroom and sat down on the bed.
“Nick, it will be okay. We will head to California and meet up with your family.”
“I… I will head to California. You’re staying here.” I said short.
“Nick, you’re not yourself right now. You need me there with you.” She said as she continued packing.
“No, I don’t. I’m going alone.” I got off the bed and began to pack my own things.
“Nick…”
“Cassidy, you’ve never even met my dad. I can’t have you there.”
She plopped herself on the bed and let out a long sigh. I finished packing and grabbed my keys.
“Look Cass, I need to do this alone.”
“No, no I get it. I’m not apart of the family yet.”
“Cass,” I placed my hand on her cheek, “Give me a few days and I’ll send for you.”
---
My legs felt like jello as I walked into the hospital. I was hoping they revived my dad, I was hoping to be able to speak to him and hug him. When I saw my family, all my hopes shattered. My mom was hysterically crying, when she saw me, she began to sob harder. She got up and wrapped me into a hug, and that's when I saw her sitting there beside my brothers. We locked eyes. As if my heart wasn’t broken enough already.
I watched her every move, she got out of her chair and walked over to me slowly. We stared at each other for a few moments before she wrapped her arms around me. That’s when I broke. I was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Shh, it's okay. I’m here.” She said softly. She hugged me tighter.
“Thank you for being here D. It means a lot.” I said quietly. My whole world had been turned upside down and yet, here she was. After a while, we sat down with the rest of my family. We all sat in silence for a while.
“It’s getting late, I should go.” D said. I found myself watching her again. She was incredible for being here.
“I’ll walk you out?” I asked. She nodded in agreement and she threw on her sweater. We walked fairly close to each other as we reached the hospital exit.
“Nick?” She stopped once we made it outside.
“Hmm?” I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I’m so sorry. I know what this feels like and if you ever need anything… absolutely anything. I’ll be here.”
“You didn’t call me today.” I mumbled.
“Did you want me to call you? She asked. She stepped closer to me.
I felt scared to answer that question. Would it change anything if I said yes? I stayed silent.
She gave me a half smile and kissed me on the cheek.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
When the next day came, I didn’t receive any calls or texts from D. Maybe she realized what a mistake it was to contact me and she had decided to forget about what happened?
“Nick, can we talk?” Cassidy said as she sat down on the couch beside me. I turned off the show I was watching and directed my attention toward her.
“I’m sorry for acting the way I did yesterday. I guess I just got…” she trailed off and turned away from me.
“It’s fine. I should be the one apologizing. I was out of line,” I scooted closer to her and placed her hand in mine, “I’m sorry Cass.”
She half smiled before letting go of my hands. “I appreciate that, but I just wish you didn’t get so sensitive when we talk about her, I mean I get that she was a big part of your life and all, but -”
“Cass, that’s the point. She was a big part of my life… a part of my life that didn’t end so well. She was my best friend before we were ever involved. I’d rather just not speak about her. To anyone.” As I finished speaking, my phone began to buzz. I felt slightly nervous.
“I’m sorry, I have to get that.” I said softly.
“Go ahead.”
I half expected it to be her calling to grovel and ask for me back, “It’s my mom.” I said softly, somewhat confused to why she was calling. “Hello?”
As my mom spoke, it was like all of her words were blurring together. “What do you mean? I was just there!” I spoke with my mom a while longer before finally ending the call.
“Nick, what’s wrong?”
“My… my dad had a heart attack.”
“What?!” She rushed over to me and embraced me. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t do anything.
“I have to go.”
“Of course, I’ll get us packed.” Cassidy said as she ran into the bedroom.
I felt as if everything was in slow motion, as if this wasn’t real. I walked slowly to my bedroom and sat down on the bed.
“Nick, it will be okay. We will head to California and meet up with your family.”
“I… I will head to California. You’re staying here.” I said short.
“Nick, you’re not yourself right now. You need me there with you.” She said as she continued packing.
“No, I don’t. I’m going alone.” I got off the bed and began to pack my own things.
“Nick…”
“Cassidy, you’ve never even met my dad. I can’t have you there.”
She plopped herself on the bed and let out a long sigh. I finished packing and grabbed my keys.
“Look Cass, I need to do this alone.”
“No, no I get it. I’m not apart of the family yet.”
“Cass,” I placed my hand on her cheek, “Give me a few days and I’ll send for you.”
---
My legs felt like jello as I walked into the hospital. I was hoping they revived my dad, I was hoping to be able to speak to him and hug him. When I saw my family, all my hopes shattered. My mom was hysterically crying, when she saw me, she began to sob harder. She got up and wrapped me into a hug, and that's when I saw her sitting there beside my brothers. We locked eyes. As if my heart wasn’t broken enough already.
I watched her every move, she got out of her chair and walked over to me slowly. We stared at each other for a few moments before she wrapped her arms around me. That’s when I broke. I was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Shh, it's okay. I’m here.” She said softly. She hugged me tighter.
“Thank you for being here D. It means a lot.” I said quietly. My whole world had been turned upside down and yet, here she was. After a while, we sat down with the rest of my family. We all sat in silence for a while.
“It’s getting late, I should go.” D said. I found myself watching her again. She was incredible for being here.
“I’ll walk you out?” I asked. She nodded in agreement and she threw on her sweater. We walked fairly close to each other as we reached the hospital exit.
“Nick?” She stopped once we made it outside.
“Hmm?” I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I’m so sorry. I know what this feels like and if you ever need anything… absolutely anything. I’ll be here.”
“You didn’t call me today.” I mumbled.
“Did you want me to call you? She asked. She stepped closer to me.
I felt scared to answer that question. Would it change anything if I said yes? I stayed silent.
She gave me a half smile and kissed me on the cheek.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”